


Ascension

by Roguefemme



Series: The Master's Daughter [6]
Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2020-07-10 14:29:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19907248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roguefemme/pseuds/Roguefemme
Summary: "Politics and life are so intertwined as to be inseparable," Jean-Claude has often told his daughter. As daughter of the Master of the City and a succubus of as-yet undiscovered power, Mara's choice of lovers could change the future of St. Louis's preternatural community forever. But when sex and politics combine, will she know who she can trust, or become a pawn to others' ambitions? Will her relationship with her beloved survive the demands of her powers?And the Hybrid Killer is dead, but is the danger to Mara and her fellow hybrids truly over?





	1. "There is something you must think about."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With thanks to SusanM68 for her encouragement and support, and to everyone who helped convince me to post this absurdly long series to AO3 on the promise that some people still wanted to read it. ;D

After being kept up until dawn by the impromptu welcome-home party, I awoke late the next afternoon, vastly relieved to be back in my own bed. I began running through the events of our trip in my mind.

I had heard of so-called 'spooks'- people with top-secret jobs whose records were severely edited and/or restricted- but even they had identities. But someone with no identity at all? And the killer had been young, too- perhaps no older than myself. It was inconceivable that she could have been a 'spook', even one gone rogue. So who else would be able to hide their existence so entirely? I made a mental note to contact Agent Lee, or get Mother to do it. She would probably get more information out of him.

Still... there were other resources, not quite so official. If there was a conspiracy behind the hybrid murders, then the threat was not over. I pocketed my address book and left, driving to a pay phone a few miles away. There I dialed a phone number I had never expected to use.

"Peter Black," a voice said. Peter Black, known only to a very few as Peter Parnell, was a bounty hunter specializing in murderous lycanthropes. It was rumored but never proven that he would take other, less lawful jobs. I happened to know the rumors were true.

"Peter, it's Mara. I have a job for you."

"Talk to me," he said, and I did.

Ten minutes later, I hung up. _Now_ something was going to get done.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
I felt a sudden awareness of someone else in the back of my mind, and smiled. _Beloved,_ I said silently.

 _Cariad_ , Caden replied, his 'voice' affectionate. Then there was an impression of distaste. _What are you drinking?_

_It's Diet Coke. What, you don't like it?_

He didn't respond in words, but he didn't have to.

 _Well, I like it,_ I informed him. _What would you rather I drink, ale or something?_

 _It would be an improvement,_ he replied dryly.

I suppressed my amusement with difficulty. _Grouse grouse grouse. We can discuss my dining habits later._

_I will buy you some decent wine._

Ugh. _I don't like wine._

_Perhaps because you have not had proper wine yet._

I sighed and relented. I supposed if I could drink cheap rum, I could drink wine to please Caden. He hadn't tasted the stuff in five centuries. _Still, at least I could mix the rum with soda,_ I thought as quietly as I could, but his amusement showed me I hadn't thought it quietly enough. _Get out of my mind, you. I'm busy, and you're distracting me._

 _My profound apologies, cariad,_ he replied with undiminished amusement, and I was alone in my mind again.

Still smiling to myself, I put my purchases in the car and headed for home and my lover.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
_Uh-oh_ , I suddenly thought. _I wonder what else is going to result from this?_ I didn't even know how many marks Emrys had given me, and I wasn't entirely clear on what each mark brought with it. Obviously I was, or rather _we_ were going to have to have a long talk with my parents. Caden is very intelligent and I was sure he had learned a lot from his days serving the Dragon, but he had never had a human servant before. For that matter, would the fact I was hybrid rather than human change the nature of the bond? Come to think of it, I was a bit surprised it had actually worked. Would my having vampire powers affect the bond?

I was storing up a lot of questions for Papa.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
After shoving the shopping bags under my bed, I went in search of Papa.

"Where do you want me tonight?" I asked him without preamble. The sooner I could get back to work, the better.

Papa looked up from lounging on the white couch to frown at me. "I want you here, resting."

"Papa, I've spent the last week in a hospital bed. I do not need any more rest. I told you, I'm healed."

He gave me a cool look, clearly unconvinced. "Nonetheless, I wish for you to remain at home. You should not overtax yourself so soon after such a terrible wound."

I knew that look on Papa's face; I was not going to win this one. My shoulders dropped. "Fine. But tomorrow night I'm working."

"We shall see," he corrected. At my mutinous expression, he informed me, "You are still my daughter, Marvelle. Do as I bid."

Only Papa could take that tone with me and get obedience instead of a scathing retort. Still, I didn't have to like it. "Fine. Would it be too _taxing_ for us to talk tonight?" I growled, crossing my arms.

Victorious, he chose to ignore my sarcasm. "I do not think so. What do you wish to discuss?"

"The marks, and what to expect. Has Caden spoken with you?" I came into the room and sat down in the chair nearest him.

" _Non_ , he has not. What has he told you?"

"We didn't have a chance to talk before yesterday, and I fell asleep on the plane last night, so nothing." Was it really only last night that I had learned of the marks, how he had risked his life for me? I took a deep breath. Not going to cry. Nope.

" _Ma fille_ ," Papa said softly, and I looked over at him. He sat upright and made a graceful 'come here' gesture. I sat down next to him and snuggled into the curve of his arm, resting my head on his shoulder as I had so many times as a child. He hugged me to him and murmured, "I was so afraid I had lost you."

Much as I wanted to, I couldn't argue since I had thought pretty much the same thing that last moment before I fell. "I had to stop her, Papa. I had to."

"I know." His voice was soothing with a hint of sadness.

"I love you, Papa," I said softly, and his arms tightened around me.

"I love you too, _ma couer_." After a few moments, he sighed softly as if anticipating something unpleasant. "I am sorry to bring this up, Marvelle, but there is something you must think about."

" _Oui_ , Papa?"

"You must understand that since Caden has given you his marks, he can no longer be your _pomme_. In the short term he will do, but eventually you will have to feed for him as well as yourself."

I sighed. "So, not just one more lover, but more than that."

"But it is not so terribly urgent as it may have been," he told me soothingly. "You have time to think, to choose. Use it, and choose wisely."

" _Oui_ , Papa." So much for trying not to think about it.

"I know you find many of the males here... unacceptable," he began carefully, "but there are males of Belle's line in other kisses who would be most pleased to come here to serve as your _pomme de sang_. I could arrange it."

" _Merci_ , Papa. I will think about it." Not long ago, that idea would have squicked me to no end. Now? Barely a blip on the strangeness radar. Welcome to my world. I started to giggle.

He lifted his eyebrows at me. "What is it, _chérie_?"

I shook my head. "It's just... if we were human, you would be running off my dates, not offering to help find lovers for me." He chuckled a little, softly. It wasn't really all that funny, but I laughed anyway. Maybe it was stress. Finally I smiled up at him. "Let me look around a little first, and if necessary, we can start," I cleared my throat, "interviewing outside candidates."

"As you wish, _ma fille_."

I rested my head on his shoulder again and we sat quietly for some time.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
When I considered the problem again later, I was not so sanguine about it. Finding one more lover was scary enough, but two? And how was Caden going to feel about sharing me with them?

 _I have accepted it, beloved,_ he told me, and I started.

 _You have **got** to stop startling me!_ I scolded him.

_You will soon learn to shield yourself from me._

_Good,_ I thought. There was a hint of desolation, as if it bothered him that I would want to. I added, _I can't have you knowing every time I'm thinking dirty thoughts about you, or you'd never get any work done._

A warmth of amusement, and I could imagine his smile. Then his 'voice' became low and sensual. _And are you thinking such thoughts about me now?_

I hadn't been before he asked, but now I was. I blushed, suddenly very glad I was alone in my room and there was no one to see my embarrassment. _Tease._

 _But is it teasing when I intend to give you everything I offer?_ It was a mental purr, and I shivered at the promise in his tone.

 _Keep it up and I'll tease back,_ I threatened.

_I am working._

As if that would really stop me. Silly man. _I know,_ I replied, smiling evilly. _You're out in public, and here I am, in my room, all alone..._ I dragged out the last two words meaningfully.

 _Behave yourself,_ he said, trying to sound stern.

 _Make me._ My reply was pure wickedness.

 _Perhaps I will later,_ he said, making me shiver deliciously again. Then my smile faded when I thought of what started the conversation. Could I really allow other men the privileges that I had so freely given Caden? An image flashed through my mind, more tactile than visual, of Giovanni's kiss, his magic caressing through my body.

 _So that is why you did not want to talk about it,_ Caden said softly, and I blushed. I hadn't meant for him to get that memory.

 _It's how he heals_. Not that that stopped me from being embarrassed about it.

 _How fortunate for him._ There was a tinge of jealousy in the thought.

 _ **You** are the man I want_, I told him firmly. _I fell in love with you when I did not need any man. No one will ever take your place in my heart._

 _Cariad,_ he said softly, lovingly, but I could feel that he didn't entirely believe me. He wanted to, but there was a thread of doubt. _Rwy'n dy garu di._

I let him feel my absolute conviction. _I love you too._

 _I must go_ , he said, and then he was gone, leaving me alone with my troubling thoughts.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Papa looked up from his desk as I came into his office, his expression unreadable. "Marvelle, thank you for coming so quickly."

"Is something wrong, Papa?" I asked, concerned.

"Someone wishes to speak with you." He picked up the receiver of the phone and held it out to me. I took it, sinking into the chair opposite Papa.

"Hello?" I said cautiously.

"Mara, how are you?" It was Augustine, Master of the City of Chicago. I gave Papa wide eyes, but he sat back silently, giving me that steady look that told me nothing.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Recovering well?"

"Yes, I'm pretty much back to normal."

"Good, good. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about what happened in Boston."

"I can't give you any details that the police haven't released," I said quickly.

"Why don't you tell me what you can?"

I blinked at Papa, knowing he could hear the conversation. He waved at me in a go on gesture. Okey-dokey. "That doesn't leave much, but okay. She tricked me into following her, then shot me in the back. I knocked the gun out of her hand before she could finish the job, so she ran. I followed her into a nearby building and onto the roof, we fought, and we fell. I survived, she didn't."

"Let me ask you this. When she shot you, were you within screaming distance of help?"

I looked off into the distance, thinking about it. "I suppose. But she used a high caliber bullet, and the wound was bad. I figured I was dead anyway. Since nobody else knew who the killer was, I thought, at least I can take her with me, make sure she doesn't kill anyone else."

He was silent for several long moments. "Yeah, I thought it was something like that. You're like your father, too damned brave for your own good."

I smiled. "Thank you."

Another pause. "You know who the other victims were?"

I swallowed. "I know about Andre, yes."

"His mother was the one who found him."

"Oh, gods," I murmured, horrified. I could only imagine how I, as his friend, would have felt. For his mother... that was something a person might never recover from.

"I know both his parents," Augustine continued. "I made a promise to them that the scum who murdered him would pay." I listened silently, wondering where he was he going with this. "I made the promise, but you kept it, and you nearly got killed doing it. I know you didn't do it for me, but I still owe you one. And I pay my debts."

My jaw dropped. _That_ , I was not expecting. I looked at Papa, but he was still giving me the calm face. "I'm sorry?"

"You heard me, kid. I owe you one. If there's anything you need, anything that I can do, you call me and you'll get it."

"Thank you," I said, still startled.

"Don't thank me, Mara. I know you don't think much of me, but I've got my rules, and I follow them," Augustine said, as serious as I had ever heard him. "Now give the phone back to your father, would you? And take care of yourself."

"Sure," I said, and numbly handed the phone back to Papa. Augustine owed me a favor. What do you even begin to ask for from a Master of the City who is a mob boss as well? The mind boggles. As I left the office, I shrugged to myself. No point worrying now. Someday if I really needed it, I'd call in the marker. A favor from Augustine was a hell of an ace up my sleeve.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
_Several days later..._

"You. Spill."

Claudia stared down at me repressively from her six-foot-six height. It didn't faze me in the least.

"I know Caden's big secret now, so tell me the rest. What happened that first night in the hospital with Samuel?" I persisted.

"You're a pain in the ass, you know that?" she informed me.

"Thanks, I try. Now spill," I told her.

She sighed. "Fine. You know he gave you his marks, gave you his power to help you heal." I nodded once. "Well, it came damn close to draining him. He called for an ambulance, but when they found you both, he was unconscious. Caden was still... in a coma, I guess, when Samuel came to the hospital. He was the one who sensed the marks and figured out what had happened. We didn't think either one of you was going to survive until Caden rose three days later."

"Three days?" I repeated weakly. Intellectually I had known what he risked when he gave me his marks, but learning how close it had been... Suddenly feeling rather unsteady on my feet, I caught myself on the wall.

Claudia caught my arm. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just..." I shook my head and clasped my arms, suddenly feeling chilled. "I didn't know it was that close."

We looked up at the sound of footsteps. Two of the younger lycanthropes, a werewolf named Kyle and a werehyena whose name escaped me, were coming towards us.

"Afternoon, Miss Blake, how are you?" asked Kyle politely. That was weird. Since when were any of our people that formal with me? Usually I got something more along the lines of "What's up, Mar?". I preferred it that way.

Okay, I'd play along. "Fine, thanks, Kyle. And you?"

"I'm great, thanks," he smiled.

"Ms. Blake," the werehyena said, giving the title a slight emphasis and sliding a sidelong look at Kyle. "It's good to see you looking well."

Oookay. "Why thank you," it clicked just in time, "Michael. Good to see you too."

At one time, almost all the local werehyenas had been gay male bodybuilders renamed with names from Greek mythology, but things had gotten a major shakeup when Haliaka took over the werehyenas and booted Narcissus out of town a few years back. I considered it an improvement. Narcissus had creeped me out, mostly because I knew how close he'd come to having my father as his permanent 'pet' (read: sex slave), courtesy of the old Master of the City. Urgh. Haliaka had no truck with that sort of thing.

The two greeted Claudia politely (though less formally), and walked away. As they left, I turned my back so they couldn't see, pointed to them, and gave Claudia a _what-the-heck_? look. They weren't the first guys around here to be acting odd lately.

She pulled a face, waited until they were out of earshot, and said quietly, "Yeah, I meant to warn you about that. Word got out."

"Why do I think you don't mean about me being Caden's human servant?"

"Because you're a bright girl," she said dryly. "You and your dad had a conversation a few nights ago, right? About you needing to find one or more _pommes_? Well, you were overheard."

"Oh no..." I moaned.

"Oh yes. You'd better get used to the guys trying to impress you, because a lot of them are hoping to get picked."

"A lot of them?" I repeated in a tone of disbelief.

Claudia gave me a very dry look. "Humility is a good thing, Mara, but don't go overboard with it. You're young, you're cute, you're a succubus, and you're looking for lovers. And you're surprised the guys are tripping over themselves to get your attention?"

I put my hand on my forehead in aggravation. "This is ridiculous. What am I going to do? I barely paid attention to guys before I was with Caden. I don't know how to do this!"

"Point to one you like and tell him 'my bedroom, ten minutes, clothes not required'?" She didn't even try to keep a straight face.

I glared at her. " _Not_ helpful, Claudia."

She gamely tried to smother her amusement. "Well, what are you looking for?"

"Um... Somebody powerful, who won't undercut Caden's position, or Father's. We're already allied with every weregroup in town, but perhaps someone who could strengthen our ties with... _what is so funny?_ "

"Sorry, but I can tell whose daughter you are," she laughed.

I crossed my arms and glared at her.

She mirrored my posture and continued, sounding rather exasperated. "Look, I asked what you're looking for, and you start rattling off political stuff. What do you _want_ in a guy? I mean just, what do you like? Young, cute, nice butt? You're talking about a guy you'll be taking to bed. Shouldn't you make sure he's somebody you actually want to get naked with?"

I hid my blushing face in my hands. "Well, yeah, that stuff is good, but Claudia, I don't have the luxury to waste this. It's too valuable."

"Don't you have anyone you can talk to about this kind of thing? Your mother?" she asked. I gave her a look. "Okay, not your mother. What about your friend Cameron?"

"She'd just push me at a lot of human guys, and that would never work. I need guys who can survive in our world," I sighed.

"Well, hasn't there ever been a guy that just did it for you?" she persisted. "I mean, besides Caden. I'm not talking about love here, just somebody who made your hormones sit up and take notice."

I blushed. Damn, this was getting to be a bad habit. "Not that I can think of."

"Don't lie to me, Mara. I can sniff out the truth," she warned.

I looked around. "Can we talk about this somewhere else? Preferably not in the Circus?"

She straightened up, suddenly all business. "I've got to get back to work anyway. Look, why don't you come to my place after my shift and we can have the girl talk then? Say, seven?"

"Sounds like a plan. Shall I bring dinner? My treat."

"Who am I to turn down free food? See you at seven." She gave me a brief smile and walked away.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
"So, have you thought about what I asked before?" Claudia inquired later over the remnants of dinner.

"Yeah, but," I shrugged. "I don't know."

She gave me a dry look. "Mara, come on. Do I have to bring up Boston? I only caught some of the energy you and Mr. Sexual Healing raised, but _damn_. Don't try to tell me that was nothing."

At this rate I was going to become immune to embarrassment. That, or turn permanently red. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway, does it? Even if Giovanni weren't royally pissed at me, I don't know where he lives and don't have any way to contact him, so it's all kind of moot."

"At least it's a start. Who else?"

I shrugged noncommittally.

"That singer friend of yours? He's pretty cute."

"Rodrigo? I guess. I never looked at him that way."

She scowled. "You know, for a succubus you are damn repressed."

"Not. Helping." I glared.

"Okay, two isn't exactly enough for a pattern, but okay. They're both dark haired."

I nodded.

"Short hair?"

I thought about that. "Actually I prefer guys with long hair, it just sort of worked out that I ended up with someone who wasn't."

"Now we're getting somewhere. Both cute, if you don't mind Caden's Iceman attitude and ....Giovanni? Giovanni's Casanova routine."

I gave her an evil look. "Could you _not_ insult my lover, please?"

"Of course, I heard he's pretty good with a sword..." she said slyly.

"Okay," I said loudly, getting up. "It's been real, but I'm leaving now."

"Come on, Mara, I'm just teasing you. You leave yourself wide open to it, being so shy."

"I'm only seventeen. Being a succubus does not make me some kind of lightskirt."

"'Lightskirt'," she laughed. "Mara, there are human seventeen years olds who make you look like a nun."

"Aaargh!" I groaned, folding my arms on the back of the easy chair and burying my face in the fabric. "This is impossible!"

"Look, let's do this another way. How about I name some of the guys I think are interested, and you tell me what you think of them?"

I sighed and sat back down. "Okay."

"Kyle."

"Too young."

"Mara, he's a year older than you."

"Still too young."

She gave me a look.

"Fine, too innocent then."

"Michael."

"See previous answer."

"Fredo? You had fun learning knife-throwing from him."

"He's like forty-five!" I yelped.

"Caden is over five hundred." Claudia gave me a very annoyed look, and I was reminded that she was a few years older than Fredo. Oops.

"That's different," I replied rather lamely.

"How?" She gave me a narrow glare.

"It just is. Next?"

"Hmm." She gave me a look that said the subject was not closed. "Brian?"

"That jackass who insulted Caden? I'd become a nun first."

She looked amused. "That would be quite a trick when you're not even christian."

"Exactly," I scowled.

"Zach?"

"Who's he?"

"One of the wolves, young guy, blonde hair, brown eyes, looks like a football player."

"No. In fact, none of the wolves. Just because Richard seems to have calmed down about me doesn't mean I want to push it."

"Okay, no wolves. Nicholas?" I froze, my eyes wide, and she grinned triumphantly. "That looks like a yes."

I shook my head. "He'd never do it. I'm too young. He had a fit over me and Caden before he found out about... you know." I was suddenly reminded of the time I had kissed him. That was a memory that was problematic at best. I lay back on the floor and made an exasperated noise. "I'm just going to have to do what Papa suggested and bring in somebody from out of town."

Claudia shook her head. "One thing I'll say for living among vampires- you guys have the most interesting problems."

I covered my face with both hands and didn't bother to answer.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Later that night I cuddled in Caden's arms and looked at my parents with a little dread. Papa looked pleasant, calm, but Mother looked less than pleased. Papa Asher caught my glance and smiled warmly at me.

"So how many marks did you give her?" my mother asked bluntly, and I winced a little. Subtlety, thy name was not Anita Blake.

My beloved was undaunted. "Only the first two. She could not afford for me to take any of her blood, so I could not give her the third."

I frowned thoughtfully. "So Caden's being able to taste food and drink through me is from the second mark, right?"

"Yes," Papa answered. "As is the ability for him to enter your dreams. You also have a greater resistance to vampire mind powers, and almost complete resistance to his."

I straightened up. "He can't roll my mind anymore?"

Papa thought about that. "He can, but not to the same extent, and only with some difficulty."

I swore under my breath in several different languages, and Caden regarded me with some amusement. "I did not expect you to be so bothered by the loss."

"Well, what do you expect? You are _very_ good." I gave him a naughty smile.

"Am I?" he inquired with a hint of sexy purr.

" _Anyway_..." my mother said loudly, and I flicked a glare at her. "Should you decide some time in the future to do the third mark, you'll be able to talk mind-to-mind while you're awake, as well."

I was busy smiling at Caden while she talked, so it took a second before her words penetrated. "Wait, what? We can do that already."

My father, who had been semi-lounging in his chair, sat straight up and fixed us with a focused stare. "You can speak mind-to-mind while awake, with only two marks?"

I glanced at each of them. "We could do that before he marked me, only we had to be touching. Since the marks, we can do it whenever we want."

Mother stared at us in shock, but Papa was beginning to smile, that cat-with-cream look he got when something was happening that furthered his plans. "Clearly your succubus power has given you more abilities than we realized. How long have you been able to communicate mentally? Did it begin with your first encounter?" Papa Asher's expression was unreadable.

"Um..." I said, looking at Caden while pondering the question. "We were able to get into each other's minds and memories during... er... when we were making up after the _ardeur_ , but just talking was more recent."

"I believe it began after the second _ardeur_ ," Caden said quietly.

I considered. "You're right," I said. "The first time I remember you doing it was not long after that."

" _Très bien_ ," Papa breathed. "So your succubus powers did form a bond between the two of you." Asher muttered something quietly in French.

"Then why didn't it show up immediately after the first time?" I said with only a slight blush.

"There was a great deal of emotional turmoil between the two of you after the first _ardeur_. Perhaps you were simply shutting each other out."

That made sense. "But after we made up I don't think we shut each other out. Just the opposite."

"So something happened that enhanced the bond," Papa inferred.

"The second time, when Belle gave me the _ardeur_..." I looked inquiringly at Caden. _Did it seem more intense to you than usual that time?_

Caden looked at the floor, remembering. _It created more magic. I thought it was the addition of the ardeur that made it so._

 _Maybe it was._ "Papa..." I said aloud. "Could the _ardeur_ have amped up the power of the bond?"

"They are both vampire powers of Belle's bloodline, so that is possible. The addition of Belle's magic might inadvertently have acted to enhance your own." Papa actually looked somewhat impressed. "Even your mother and I did not form such a bond without my marks."

"Did you have an emotional connection before the marks?" I asked.

They glanced at each other, and Mother shifted in her chair. If I didn't know better I would think they were uncomfortable. "There were feelings, but we didn't... abandon ourselves to it the way you two have."

Papa's expression was relaxed, pleasant, but I knew him well enough to recognize blank face. "I do not believe there has ever been a human servant who possessed vampire powers before the marks. It will be fascinating to find out what other effects your power will have upon the master/servant interrelationship."

"Wait a minute. Could this happen with anybody I have sex with?" I asked a little dreadingly. The thought of having mind-to-mind connections with three or four different men was unnerving, to say the least. Mother winced a little, but I had no sympathy. She had squicked me often enough with her _ardeur_. Turnabout was fair play.

Papa mulled that over. "I believe your effect on other lovers will vary depending on the nature of their powers and the feelings between you."

Goody. Like I needed something else to make my life interesting.

"I have heard of such abilities before, _ma douce_ , but they are rare. Some few of Belle's line have the power to form bonds with their mates," Papa Asher added. "They can have more than one mate, but I know they do not bind with every sex partner."

"So, can they choose who they bind with?" I asked, rather dreading the answer.

"I do not know exactly what the criteria are. As I said, it is a rare ability, known only among masters of Belle's line. I know of only one that I have met, and I did not know him well."

I gave him wide eyes. "I have a hard time believing that I have a master-level power."

He made a graceful gesture between me and Caden. "If you have a better explanation, _ma douce_ , I am listening." I had no answer to that, but glanced up at Caden, who looked back and gave me a tiny shrug. Papa Asher gave a small nod. "The one I spoke of seemed to me of good character. Perhaps he may be willing to advise you. I shall attempt to contact him."

" _Merci_ , Papa Asher," I nodded, my mind teeming with confusion and wondering. This succubus thing was just getting stranger and stranger.


	2. "I thought you would be kind of ticked at me..."

"Somebody's got a birthday next week..." I said, singsong.

Nicholas gave me a look of mild annoyance. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, don't bother lying. I know all, I see all. Plus I snuck a peek at your file," I grinned unrepentantly.

He folded his arms and stared at me. It didn't faze me in the least. He did 'intimidating' pretty well, but I'd seen better. Besides, I knew he didn't really mean it.

"I'm taking you out for lunch. Start thinking about where you want to go," I told him.

"And if I say no?" he asked, although the humor in his smile told me it was an idle threat.

I plopped down in a chair next to him. "Do you have other plans?" I challenged.

He studied me for a moment, then smiled. "No."

"Then I'll just bug the heck out of you until you say yes."

"You're a tough woman to say no to," he laughed.

"Exactly." I winked at him.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
That evening I got back online. The hybrid boards were no doubt going to be lively. I just hoped they didn't make a fuss over me. But first, my email.

 _Junk, junk, spam... are they_ still _arguing about that? Jeez... junk... wait, what is this?_ I clicked it.

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
From: Sampson@atlanticweb.com  
To: MaraB@JCCorp.com  
Subject: Re: Trip

Hi Mara,

How was your trip home? It's a shame you had to spend most of your stay here in the hospital. You should visit again so I can take you around to see the sights.

That is, if you're not tired of me yet. ;-)

*hugs*  
Sampson

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
Wow, I didn't expect to hear from him again so soon, especially sounding so friendly. I clicked "Reply".

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
From: MaraB@JCCorp.com  
To: Sampson@atlanticweb.com  
Subject: Re: Trip

You wrote:

> That is, if you're not tired of me yet. ;-)

Don't be a dork. How many friends do you think I have who understand vampire politics and can email too? I thought you would be kind of ticked at me though, considering I pulled a gun on your mom. Most people take a dim view of that sort of thing.

And the flight home was fine. You wouldn't believe how much Papa has been fussing over me. He wouldn't let me work for three days! I nearly went stir-crazy. He's still making me work at the Circus, which I've hardly done since I got my driver's license. Boooring!

*hugs back*  
Mara

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
I sent the message, then resumed reading my email. There was still a fair bit stacked up from the week I had been offline, plus the deluge of well-wishes from the hybrid boards. _This is ridiculous. I don't even know half of these people!_

There was a short burst of music indicating new mail. Another from Sampson? _Wow, I guess he's online._

\-----------------------------------------------------

From: Sampson@atlanticweb.com  
To: MaraB@JCCorp.com  
Subject: Re: Trip

> I thought you would be kind of ticked at me though,  
> considering I pulled a gun on your mom.

There are times I want to pull a gun on my mother! *LOL*

The important thing is that no one died, and Father and Caden can be in the same room without killing each other now. Sorry you're bored, but maybe something will happen soon to liven things up.

*hugs*  
Sampson

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
Yikes! That was the last thing I needed.

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
From: MaraB@JCCorp.com  
To: Sampson@atlanticweb.com  
Subject: Re: Trip

If my life gets any more 'livened', I may not survive it! :-P

*hugs*  
Mara

  
\-----------------------------------------------------

  
From: Sampson@atlanticweb.com  
To: MaraB@JCCorp.com  
Subject: Re: Trip

Not all 'liveliness' is _that_ bad! *laugh*

*hugs*  
Sampson

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
From: MaraB@JCCorp.com  
To: Sampson@atlanticweb.com  
Subject: Re: Trip

You wrote:

> Not all 'liveliness' is _that_ bad! *laugh*

Sez you!

*hugs*  
Mara  
P.S. Outta here, good night!

\-----------------------------------------------------

  
It was amazing that he could still make me laugh after everything. Had he forgiven me so quickly? I guess seeing someone on the edge of death makes it easier to get over being mad at them. Then again... there was politics. Had Sampson been ordered to make nice with me? Surely not. He could play politics when he had to, but I didn't think he was deceitful enough to fake friendship that well. But really, who knows?

I logged off and went to bed.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
I startled awake, my heart pounding. I couldn't even remember the nightmare that had frightened me. Darkness, voices, a nameless fear.

I pushed aside the bed curtain and squinted at the clock. 11:30 am. The middle of the freaking day and I was awake. Great. I was alone in the bed since Caden had gone to his coffin shortly before dawn, which was just as well since I was soaked in sweat and needed a shower, not to mention a change of sheets.

I dragged my complaining body into the bathroom and stepped into the shower. Oh, hot showers, a gift of the gods. I actually felt like a civilized being when I got out ten minutes later. Well, more like one, anyway.

Coffee. Coffee would make it better. I went to the kitchen.

"Ooh, somebody's out of her coffin early," one of the younger werehyenas snickered.

I gave him a sidelong glare as I reached for the coffeepot. "Bite me."

"Don't make offers like that unless you mean it," he quipped, and there was muffled laughter from the others in the room.

I growled at him, "It is before noon, I am awake, I have not had coffee, and I am armed. _Tread. Lightly_!"

"Just playing with you, Mar," he said with a wide-eyed innocent look that convinced me not at all.

I growled in response and turned back to preparing my coffee. Maybe morning grumpiness would deter a few of the would-be suitors. I could only hope.

"Is my father awake?" I inquired.

"Dunno, but your mother bunked over last night, so he might be," one of the older guards answered. "By the way, our Oba asks you to visit her when you have time."

I gave him an amused look. "Is that really what she said?"

He fixed his eyes on his coffee cup. "That's the gist of it."

The young smartmouth sniggered. "She said, tell the froglet to get her ass down here and see me sometime."

I burst out laughing. "Now _that_ sounds like Haliaka. Tell her I'll think about it."

"Say, can we call you froglet too?" He gave me big shiny eyes. Wiseass.

"If you want to get your ass kicked into next week," I smiled sweetly. "You know what, forget the message." I took out my cell phone and speed-dialed.

I held the phone away from my ear as a loud, no-nonsense female voice answered. "Froglet! What the hell are you doing up before noon, is the apocalypse nigh?"

"Bad luck. You got something to talk about, or are you just missing my pretty face?"

"You ain't as pretty as your old man," she informed me.

"Nobody's as pretty as Papa. It's against the law," I laughed.

That made her laugh. "I bet. Yeah, I got something to talk to you about."

"Is this something Papa needs to know about?"

"Nah, nothin' official. I just want a chat with ya," she assured me.

"I'll check my schedule."

"You do that. And tell Green-eyes I said hi."

"Hands off, woman, he's mine," I growled playfully.

"You can have him. He's hot, but scary. Probably goes to bed armed."

"Doesn't everybody?" I asked sweetly.

She snorted and hung up, leaving me laughing.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
_Marvelle-_

See me as soon as you can. We must discuss Cameron.

P.

I frowned at the text message. Why would Papa need to talk to me about Cameron? I hadn't even seen her lately except for a brief visit the weekend after I got back from Boston, which mostly consisted of Cammie throwing herself into my arms and alternately crying and swearing at me for scaring her so badly. Papa kept tabs on how she was doing, of course, but I was still confused by the curt tone of his message. Oh well, no way to find out but to ask him.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
I walked slowly toward the library, coaching myself all the way. _I am not going to get angry. Cameron is an adult, she has just made a decision I don't agree with. I will be polite. I will be reasonable. I will simply persuade her that this is a bad idea. I will stay calm. I will not lose my temper._

I walked into the library. Cameron sat with her arms crossed and glared at me with a familiar stubborn look on her face.

 _"Are you out of your godsdamned **mind?!**_ " I shouted.


	3. "You don't know what you're asking for."

She glared at me. "I knew you would react like this."

"How the hell do you expect me to react, Cameron? I just found out my best friend wants to quit college and become a vampire! I thought you had better sense than that!"

"You know, just because you're in love with the idea of being human doesn't mean everyone is, Mara!" she snapped.

"And what exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"It means exactly what I said. You act like being human is so great, but it's not. It sucks! You talk about all the dangers of the vampire world, but being human doesn't mean I'm out of danger."

"That doesn't mean you have to put yourself on the metaphysical firing line!"

"Yes I do! Dammit!" She threw herself back in the chair, glaring away from me. "For once in your life, would you stop being such a damn know-it-all and listen to me?!"

I stalked across the room and plunked down on the couch, glaring back at her. "Fine. Tell me all the wonderful reasons you have for throwing your life away."

"I can't believe you even have to ask that."

"Well, pretend I'm not stupid and enlighten me." When in doubt, sarcasm.

"Oh for god's sake, Mara, stop being obtuse. Look at your life. Look at everything around you. Lots of girls try to make themselves prettier before they go out. You're so goddamn beautiful that you try to make yourself _plainer_ just so people will leave you alone." I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off, jabbing a finger at me. "NO, you are not giving me that old crap again. I spent ten years here, Mara, ten years surrounded by beauty and magic. Then at the first sign of trouble, you kicked me back out into the human world."

"We did that to protect you!" I protested angrily.

"Well, maybe I don't want to be protected anymore!" she yelled. "Stop treating me like some kind of stupid helpless plano!"

I gaped at her. Where the hell did she learn hybrid slang? "I have never called you that, Cameron!"

"No, but you thought it, didn't you? Silly Cammie, just another pathetic little human. Jesus, Mara, you used to spend hours on those hybrid boards. Did you really think I'd never get curious? Oh no, _old friend_ , I know exactly what you think of _plain old humans_."

"Cameron, most of the humans we talk about are the ones who think we should be put down like rabid animals just for being what we are!" I protested. "I have nothing against humans who don't hate us!"

"Oh yeah? Tell me, Mara, how many of your lovers have been human? You're looking for more, but have you even considered any humans? If you like humans so much, howcome they're not good enough for your bed?"

I took a deep breath, willing myself to be calmer. "I am a succubus, Cammie, do you understand what that means? I feed off of my lovers. Humans just aren't powerful enough. They can't take it."

"Oh yeah? Have you tried?" she shot back.

I struggled to reign in my temper and not yell at my impossible friend. "Why do you even care who I take to my bed, Cameron?"

"Because it's just more proof. You don't have any human friends besides me, do you? In the end even Bobby was too human for you. And you've been shutting me out of your life for over a year."

"You're the one who went away to college! And besides, I have been as close to you as to anyone outside the Circus!"

"Yeah, but that's not saying much, is it?" she said triumphantly.

She had me there, which only pissed me off worse. "Fine, I'm an evil nasty bigot who hates humans. What does that have to do with you wanting to be a vampire?"

"I've got a better question. What's the real reason you don't want any humans in your life? No pretty lies, no excuses, be honest!" Cameron folded her arms and glared at me.

"Fine!" I shouted. "Fine, you want the truth? Because they're helpless! In the world I live in, you're only as safe as you are powerful. Humans don't have any physical advantages, and most of them don't have enough magic to protect themselves either. They're victims waiting to happen, just like I used to be."

"There you go," she said, as if I had just confirmed her logic.

"And you think becoming a vampire will be better?" I asked disbelievingly. "Fledgling vampires barely have it better than humans, worse in many ways. It could be _centuries_ before you had much power, and if you didn't become a master vampire, you could spend eternity serving other vampires just to survive! Why don't you ask my father, or Asher, or Caden, or Damian, what it was like for them? What they went through at the hands of their 'protectors'?"

"Your father and Asher already talked to me. But I still want to do it." She sat back, folding her arms stubbornly.

"Then why come here, when you know we'll probably turn you down? Why not go to the Church of Eternal Life?"

"I still could, but I want to be Belle Morte's line."

I stood and turned my back on her, an abrupt, angry movement, because I had to do something to burn off the anger. "You don't know what you're asking for."

"Yes I do," she said coldly. "I've been thinking about it since that night at Danse Macabre, when you gave me a taste of exactly what I was missing." I turned and stared at her, mystified, and she sat back with a bitter half-smile. "Oh, I know you didn't _mean_ to do it, but you never even considered that I might still be there when you decided to have your little power struggle with your boyfriend, did you?" She laughed mirthlessly. "I didn't know what the hell was happening but I felt amazing, like a goddess, more alive than I've ever felt before. And later I found out what happened with you and Caden, and figured out it was you. Of all the guys I've been with, the most amazing sexual feeling I've ever had was just accidental backwash from my best friend!"

I stared at her, speechless with guilt and horror. "But... but Papa said it wasn't strong enough for the humans to have noticed!"

"You forget, dear friend, I'm magic too. You told me that yourself all those years ago, remember?" she smiled angrily. "And I have you to thank for every taste of magic I've ever had. So don't think you're going to stop me from this, Mara. You don't have the right!"

I buried my face in my hands. There were so many reasons this was a bad idea that I couldn't pick out one to start with. I thought of Cameron, happy, laughing Cameron, in the throes of the _ardeur_. I thought of her enslaved to Belle Morte, with no control over whose bed she was sent to. I summoned all the rage and dread and helplessness, let it wash over me. Fine, if she wanted this world, she was about to get a crash course in the not-so-beautiful side of it.

I lifted my head and glared at her, my face gone thinner, pale and inhuman, my eyes the solid, pupil-less blue of extreme emotion. Her eyes widened and she stared at me with horror dawning on her face. I walked toward her, my hair blowing in a wind of my own power, then leaned over her chair with my face inches from hers, making her see the monstrous specter I had become. She looked away, clutching the arms of her chair, but I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me.

I let a very nasty smile twist my face, showing my fangs. "You want to be like me? Is this the beauty you want? The magic? Don't look away, because _this_ is what you're asking for! Did you think it was all going to be pretty? That you would just wake up sexy and magical and pay no price? It doesn't work that way, Cameron! Maybe you're right, maybe I did screw up with you. But if I did, it's because I protected you _too much_. Maybe if I had let you see the uglier side of my life, you wouldn't have this damn fool idea about becoming a vampire! But you're going to learn now." I dropped my voice to a deadly low tone, emphasizing every word. "You are going to know _exactly_ what you're getting into."

"You're not gonna scare me," she informed me, but her bravado was pointless.

"I already have," I said in a low, cold tone. "I can smell it on you."

"Cut the crap," she snarled. She pushed me backward, got up, and stormed out of the room. She couldn't have won if I really fought her, but she knew I wouldn't hurt her. Dammit. My friendship with Cammie was going to get her killed.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
_Several days later..._

"Hey, kid," Haliaka slung a companionable arm around my shoulders. It took doing, since she was a full six inches shorter than me, not counting my heels. "C'mon, let's go to the lounge. I even stocked up on some of that evil clove tea you like."

Haliaka was Hawaiian and about as far from the old hula girl stereotype as you could get. She was short and stout, with medium dark skin, nearly black eyes, and a tough, take-no-prisoners air. Though Narcissus had been much taller, it wasn't hard to figure out why she had defeated him with little trouble. It wasn't easy to earn her respect or liking, but if you did, she was a very good ally. Though respect didn't make you safe from her teasing- she often called Papa "Master Hotpants". I got "froglet" because she swears I have a French accent. (Lies.) Her sense of humor could have caused a lot of trouble except that no one was safe from it, and the targets usually found it as funny as everyone else did. But her joking demeanor hid a sharp political mind, and you underestimated her at your peril.

"I'm honored," I said dryly. I cast a sidelong glance at her as we walked. Something seemed just slightly off, as if she were... uncomfortable. Why? She walked ahead and opened the door of the lounge. I walked into the room after her- and stopped only a few feet in.

We had company. In the circle of comfortable chairs sat Rafael the Rat King, with Claudia behind him. Next to him sat Sylvie, second in command of the werewolf pack. The final member of the party was Micah, Nimir-Raj of the wereleopards.

I gave Haliaka a less-than-friendly look. "Quite a gathering for 'just a chat'. I guess you forgot to mention the other guests."

She glanced away. "It _is_ just a chat, kid. We just got some stuff to talk to you about."

"And what, precisely, do all of you need to talk with me about that you can't discuss in front of my father and mother?" I gave Micah a glare. "Or does Mother know about this?" His mouth tightened and he didn't answer. "My," I commented. "Going behind Mother's back, too. This _is_ getting interesting." When nervous, get smartmouth. It works for me.

"I told you we shouldn't have done it this way," Claudia muttered.

Rafael glared at her, then turned back to me. "Mara, please, sit down. This isn't something sinister, I promise you. We just want to talk to you."

"I might find that easier to believe if this little meeting had been arranged more straightforwardly." I looked around. "What, Haven and Richard couldn't join the party?"

Rafael, who seemed to be the spokesperson for the group, answered, "We thought you might be more comfortable if Haven were not present." That was a safe bet; I despised Haven, who was in my opinion no more than a thug and a criminal. He knew it, too.

I lifted my eyebrows. "And Richard?"

Silence.

I smiled tightly. "You've apparently gone to a great deal of trouble to get me here alone without the knowledge of my parents. How odd of me to be suspicious." I pulled back the chair nearest me, casually pushing it against the wall so no one could get behind me or sneak in the door without my noticing, then sat with my back straight, my hands folded casually in my lap, showing no trace of fear but mentally reviewing my access to every weapon on my person. I didn't believe they intended to harm me, but this situation was too suspicious for me to completely dismiss the possibility. "Very well, now you have me here. I'm listening."

Rafael sighed a bit and looked at Micah. Micah shook his head, and Rafael turned his attention back to me. Sylvie just looked at me with those cool eyes. "We're just... concerned. You see, Mara, you have become powerful- more than we expected- and it looks as if you will be even more powerful. But more than that is the fact that you are seeking lovers."

My eyes narrowed. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell them it was none of their damn business, but I wanted to find out where this was going, so I simply waited.

Rafael continued. "Both of your parents have shown a preference for surrounding themselves with powerful people. Your mother's lovers are almost all very powerful. We think you may have the same preference."

Haliaka made to touch my back and I tensed. She let her hand drop. "And judging by Green-eyes, we're not wrong," she said quietly.

"And Caden has become noticeably more powerful since you have been together," Rafael continued. "What concerns us is that you might choose a lycanthrope, and you've shown no interest in any of the local lycanthropes."

"How would you know who interests me, or doesn't?" I shot back. Then I looked at Claudia. She wouldn't meet my eyes. "Of course," I said in a falsely sweet tone, though my throat was tightening. I had confided in Claudia, and she had gone tattling to her king. "How silly of me. Well, it's fortunate I'm not seeing Gwen anymore or I'd really have no secrets, hmm?"

Sylvie flinched and scowled. "Gwen takes her patients' confidentiality seriously, Mara." I snorted quietly, but I knew she heard.

"As I was saying," Rafael interjected, "If you bring someone in from out of town, they'll almost certainly be an alpha, and become more formidable by their... relationship with you."

I smiled coolly. Of course. They were afraid I'd import some preternatural badass who would mess with their comfortable setups.

"We just want to have a little input on who you bring into town," Haliaka added. "Jean-Claude has trained you well, Mara, and I know you understand where we're coming from. The choices you make could seriously affect the future of the lycanthrope community in this city."

"Input," I repeated in a silkily nasty tone. My emotions were teetering between fear and anger. Guess which I preferred? "So I should trust your judgment because you don't trust mine."

"That's not what we're saying," Rafael said.

I lifted a scornful eyebrow. "Isn't it?"

"It's just that you're young, and..." Haliaka began, and then trailed off.

"We could even help you, Mara," Micah added, leaning forward with an expression that was oh so sincere. How I hated him. "We know of people- good, powerful people, who might be what you're looking for."

I let my cold smile express my opinion of that. It seemed I had plenty of lycanthrope spies close to me; I certainly didn't intend to invite one into my bed.

"And if I refuse?" I asked sweetly.

Silence again.

"We'd really prefer you didn't, Mara," Rafael said quietly.

"I see," I said. "Well, here's your answer: I have no intention of bringing in someone who will destabilize the situation here in St. Louis. I know my duty, and who I owe it to;"- with a cold glance around the room, reminding them that my duty was not to any of them, "and I will do it. If you don't trust me enough to believe that, then my word is worthless to you and we have nothing to talk about." I paused for emphasis. "If, and I do mean _if_ , I decide to bring in someone from one of your animal groups, then you will be invited to meet them and offer your opinions. But the decision is and will remain mine. I will not be dictated to by any of you. I answer to the Master of this City alone. If you still have concerns, you may contact him with them."

I stood and reached for the doorknob when Claudia's voice stopped me. "He's my king, Mara. I had to tell him when he asked. But he only wanted to know if you were interested in any of the local shifters, and that's all I told him."

I smiled coldly, still facing the door, then opened it and walked out. Even if I believed her, a small betrayal was still a betrayal. I had learned my lesson about confiding in those with divided loyalties. And I wasn't going to set foot in Haliaka's club again without backup- vampire backup. As for me taking a lycanthrope to my bed? Not bloody likely.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
I drove back to the Circus rather faster than necessary, but fortunately made it without incident. I started to go to my own room, then reconsidered and went to Caden's room. It was before five so he probably wouldn't be up yet, but at least I could wait for him. I took out my key to open his door, then slipped in and locked it behind me.

Caden was indeed still 'asleep', lying on his back on the bed, unmussed and still like a very handsome statue. Unfortunately his position made it difficult to cuddle him, but I lay down close by on the bed with my hand on his arm, smoothing my hand along the fabric of his jacket. I felt myself begin to relax just from being here with him, and abruptly realized how tired I was. Drat those nightmares anyway. Perhaps I would just catch a nap until he woke...

I felt a cool hand gently stroking my cheek and opened my eyes to find my beloved smiling down at me. He leaned down to touch his lips to mine.

"Hi," I said in a sleepy but very welcoming voice.

"Hello," he replied. "What a lovely surprise to wake and find you next to me."

I shrugged, blushing, a little embarrassed. "I missed you."

"Don't apologize." He kissed me again, a slow, thorough kiss which I eagerly reciprocated. It didn't take much to make me want him, but we had both discovered that I was even more susceptible when I was just waking. I made low, wanting sound and wrapped my arms around him. He rested his hand lightly on my side along the curve of my waist. "I would love to continue this," he said in a low, sensual voice, "but I must go and feed."

"Now that's just silly," I informed him teasingly. "Why would you go out to eat when you could have breakfast in bed?" He started to smile, then laughed out loud. I smiled too, silently adoring how his face lit up when he was happy. He traced a finger down my neck, where there were faint marks left from the last time he had fed from me. For whatever reason, his bites seemed to heal almost humanly slowly for me.

"It seems a shame to keep marring this lovely neck," he murmured. I blinked, and my smile began to fade. He met my eyes and there was a light of mischief in his. "Perhaps I should choose a less conspicuous place." He dragged his fingers lightly from my neck, between my breasts, downward to the button of my jeans and slowly began undoing them.

I caught my breath, my heart pounding in excitement mixed with nervousness. "No fair teasing if you're not going to follow through. I thought you didn't like that kind of feeding."

"Because I would not do it with the _pommes_? Oh no, my _cariad_ ," he purred, "I like it very much. That is why I will not do it with anyone but my lover." He got up on his knees, sliding my jeans down.

"Wait," I said. I sat up to strip off my shirt and toss it aside, then lay back in only my lingerie. The bra and panties were unadorned satin in a wine red, his favorite color for me to wear. The look in his eyes made me very glad I had chosen them that day. "Now we can do it properly."

"Oh yes," he smiled, his eyes tracing over my body in the way that made me feel warm and wanting from nothing more than his look. He leaned over me, looking into my eyes. "Open the marks, love. Let there be nothing separating us." I made a soft sound of agreement and reached out to him, feeling him in my mind like a cool wind on heated skin. He breathed out, shivering, and nuzzled down my body until the tickle of his breath through the fabric of my panties made me clutch the bedclothes.

" _Rwy'n dy garu di_ ," I whispered as his teeth penetrated the inside of my thigh. It was the last coherent thing I said for several hours.

I fell back to the pillows, laughing in breathless delight. "You are absolutely amazing, you know that?" I informed him, still shaking a little from the aftershocks of pleasure.

He rolled over onto his side next to me, smiling, his eyes going back to normal but still shining with satisfaction. "I must be if I am to be worthy of you, my _carwr_."

I gave him a dry look, -I never liked that "I don't deserve you" talk- but couldn't own it. He just looked so happy. "You are the worthiest man I have ever met, so shush that silliness."

"Even though I am not Belle Morte's line?" he asked. I gave him a sharp glance, but his eyes were sparkling with humor.

" _Carwr_ , if you had the powers of Belle Morte's line on top of what you already have to offer, you would kill me!" I laughed, and his laughter joined mine.

"We certainly would not want _that_ ," he replied, lying back with one arm behind his head. The position showed off his bare, wonderfully muscled arms and upper body to good advantage. Not that he needed it; even in clothes he was delectable. Without them, his body required no enhancement whatsoever.

"Mmm, though what a way to go," I agreed with a wicked laugh, getting on my knees and bending over him to press a kiss to his bare chest. "As it is, it may take me centuries to fully appreciate everything you have to offer."

"And is this the only reason you came to me this evening?" he inquired as calmly as if I were not engaged in kissing my way down his body.

I paused, thinking. "Not the only reason, but I do seem to have gotten distracted by it." The events of the afternoon came back into my thoughts, and I sat back on my heels, troubled again.

He frowned. "I see images of some of the lycanthrope leaders, and you feeling afraid and angry, but I do not understand them." I told him what had happened. "I am sorry, _cariad_ ," he sighed when I finished the story.

I shook my head and snuggled into his arms. "I should have seen it coming. I'm supposed to be so politically savvy, yet it never occurred to me that Claudia might go rat me out to Rafael. For that matter, it didn't occur to me he would care, that any of them would." Then I started laughing, and Caden frowned at me confusedly. "Sorry, I just realized..." I tried to stifle my snickers, "I accused Claudia of _ratting_ me out." He smiled, but I knew it wasn't really that funny; I was just stressed. I shook my head. "Papa always said politics and life are so intertwined as to be inseparable. I guess he was right." I gave a brief laugh with no humor. "Like I wasn't stressed enough about finding other lovers, now I know I've got people looking over my shoulder.

"I suppose it's flattering, in a way," I added. "The leaders of so many shifter groups being worried about what I'll do. It means they think I'm powerful enough to make their lives difficult, even if they assume I'm weak-willed enough to be bullied."

"They underestimated you because of your youth and your obedience to your father," Caden said thoughtfully. "They will probably not make the same mistake again. What do you intend to do?"

"Honestly, my first impulse is to just say no lycanthropes at all. Gods know I'm not exactly feeling warmly toward them at the moment. But that's probably just anger. I don't know what I'm going to do," I sighed.

"But you did not act on it."

"No, I figured I shouldn't burn my bridges just because I was mad."

He smiled and lovingly tightened his arms around me for a moment. "That's good. It is always wiser not to act out of anger."

I looked up at his face. "What do you think I should do?"

He considered that. "I think that you were correct. You could simply avoid anyone of their animal groups, and then they would lose most of their basis for trying to interfere."

"But not all," I said softly.

"Perhaps not, but it would make their bargaining position weaker." He was silent for a moment, then added, "I know there are things that women prefer to discuss with other women, but you should know you can come to me if you need to talk. You need never question my loyalty to you."

"Thank you, _cariad_. I know I can always trust you." I smiled gratefully at him, and then looked away. "I should have come to you first, but I know this isn't easy for you, and I hate to remind you of it." I made an exasperated sound. "I don't even like thinking about it. And I don't want to hurt you, beloved." I stared at the bedspread, not wanting to say what was on my mind but knowing I would be wrong not to. I pulled out from under his arm and turned to face him, trying to ignore the jolt of pain in my chest. " _Cariad_... I've been thinking. Since we know now that I can't be faithful to you..." my throat clenched, but I continued, "I won't expect you to be faithful to me either. If you..."

He stopped me with fingers on my lips, then leaned forward and kissed me. "I do not want anyone but you, _cariad_. That you make the offer, even knowing how it would make you feel, proves that I am right to believe in you. But you are my lover, and I will take no one but you to my bed, because that is what I choose."

I blinked away tears and smiled. "But... if you change your mind..."

"I will know the option is there," he said. "Now let us speak no more of it. I want to hold you."

That sounded like an excellent plan to me.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
" **Mara Blake!** "

Oh, _crap_. I've faced attacking vampires, murderous bigots, and sundry other scary beings, and I would pick almost any of them over what was yelling for me at that moment. There are few things scarier than Madeline MacNamera in full-out protective mother mode.

" **Where is Asher?!** "

Uh-oh. After much discussion (read: arguing), Asher had finally agreed to bring Cameron over, on the conditions that it didn't happen until she turned 21, and only if she finished college first. Also, she had to live here at the Circus and learn a whole lot more about the world she was getting into (hopefully enough to make her change her mind about it, though I pessimistically doubted that). I thought it was a very clever compromise. Apparently Cameron's mother did not agree.

"I don't know!" I said hastily, and mentally contacted Caden. _If you know where Asher is, warn him. Madeline is here looking for him, and she's royally pissed_.

There was a hint of amusement in Caden's reply. _I suspected this might happen. I will tell him._

She stepped closer, her dark brown eyes nearly glittering with anger, and pointed at me. "If I find out you had anything to do with this harebrained idea of Cameron's..." she growled.

"I didn't! I tried to talk her out of it!" I yelped. "I swear I wouldn't have, I know better!"

She stared down at me- unlike my own mother, Madeline still has several inches on me- and calmed down marginally. "Where's Asher?" she repeated.

"I don't know." She glowered at me. I threw up my hands. "I don't!"

She gave me one last quelling look and stalked past me deeper into the Circus, brushing her long blonde hair impatiently over one shoulder in very Cameronesque gesture. _I would_ not _want to be him right now_ , I thought as I watched her storm away.

_Nor would I_ , Caden said, but his tone was tinged with amusement.

"ASHER!" echoed down the hall, and I winced. Asher was a centuries-old master who had survived Belle Morte and the Vampire Council. He could handle one pissed off human mother. Probably. Hopefully.

" _Ma fleur..._ " Asher's voice purred soothingly.

" _Don't you 'flower' me, Asher! You are not turning my daughter into a vampire!"_

I walked away, shaking my head. I'd check back later for casualties.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
"You wanted to see me, Papa?"

"Ah, Marvelle. _Entré vous_." He gestured to me and nodded to the employee standing before the desk, who nodded back and walked past me out the door. He sat back and fixed me with a thoughtful look. "I am told that you had a," he paused as if searching for the word, "meeting with some of the local lycanthrope leaders."

I stifled a sigh. "Should I even ask how you found out?"

He ignored that. "I am surprised that you did not come to me immediately."

"I'm sure that's what they expected me to do, but it's my problem. I can't always run to you every time somebody upsets me."

Papa gave me a patient look. "I admire your wish to be independent, _ma fille_ , but this was something I needed to know about. For them to deliberately exclude me from negotiations with someone under my protection -especially my own daughter-" with a pointed look at me, "is undermining my authority, a violation of the treaties they hold with me. In addition, your mother and Richard are highly displeased they were kept out of it."

"Richard didn't agree with them?"

"He understood their reasoning, but considers it unworthy to interfere in anyone's sex life, especially that of such a young woman."

I snorted softly in amusement. "I never thought I would be grateful for Richard's political naiveté."

"Idealism, rather," Papa idly corrected and I smiled a little.

Then I frowned, thinking. "I'm shocked Micah had the nerve to go behind Mother's back," I commented, and made a face. "He should have known better anyway. How surprisingly impolitic of them to think he would have any influence over me." I waved that off and shook my head, annoyed with myself. "It was stupid of me to go there without backup, even knowing Haliaka as I do."

"She is an ally, and you are young. I do not believe you were in physical danger, but you would be wise to remember in future that you are no longer a child. They have proven that they consider you a power to be reckoned with, and they are correct to do so. Now you must behave as such. Consider your every meeting with any of them a negotiation, and guard your words and behavior. Now, tell me everything that was said."

I did. When I was finished talking, he sat back, gazing at his hands. "You did well." I lifted my eyebrows at him, and he smiled slightly. "Your negotiation skills obviously require polishing, but considering you were unprepared and no doubt unnerved by the position they placed you in, you did well not to accede to their demands or escalate the situation."

I wasn't in trouble. Cool. " _Merci_ , Papa," I said with a humble little head-dip.

"In the meantime, I have made it clear to them that they are not to undercut my authority again, and that any negotiations with you will be done straightforwardly, and only with my knowledge and assent. You are one of my people as much as any of my vampires, and are to be treated as such."

I nodded, my hands clasped in my lap, thinking. "So what do you think I should do?"

"Precisely what you said you would do." I frowned at him, and he gave me that small patient smile. "For me to alter the terms you laid out would show a lack of trust in you, and thus weaken both our positions."

"Maintain a united front," I said, nodding.

" _Exactement_. If they are unsatisfied with your answer, they must meet with both of us for any future negotiations."

" _Oui,_ Papa," I said. At least I knew Papa wasn't entirely displeased with my answer- if he were, he would have found a way to 'adjust' the agreement regardless.

"Have you made any progress in your search?" he asked.

I blinked at him, then blushed. "Um, no."

"I see. I trust you will keep me apprised of what I need to know?" He lifted an eyebrow inquiringly.

" _Oui_ , Papa." Like I had a choice.

"And do not forget, you must practice feeding at a distance again tonight," he added. I groaned. "Marvelle..." he said warningly.

" _Oui_ , Papa," I sighed. I turned to leave the office, reflecting that being a succubus was a major pain in the ass.

"Oh, and _ma fille_..." he called after me. I turned back to him. "We are going to have a guest in the near future. I will need your help in arranging our hospitality."

"Of course, Papa. Who is it?"

He merely smiled, and I felt a hint of dread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of the wereleaders have been changed from what I have here, but this was originally written over a decade ago and it's too much hassle to rewrite that. Sorry.


	4. 'We have much to discuss"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took this long to post more of the fic. I've had massive problems with my internet for months now, which might have been resolved now. I hope. :P

  
  
"Hey there, boss lady," Nicholas smiled up at me, and despite myself I smiled back. Although I wasn't feeling too friendly toward lycanthropes, I had to make exceptions, especially for the birthday boy- hence my lunch date with Nicholas in the restaurant of his choice. He chose a steakhouse that he claimed had great food. I had to admit it seemed much more his style than the five-star places in town.  
  
I sat down across the table from him. "I told you to quit calling me that. I'm not your boss, my father is."  
  
"Should I call you Princess instead?" he grinned.  
  
I gave him an evil look and sighed in disgust. "Oh, don't you start too." A reporter for one of the less reputable papers had written a story about the events in Boston, calling me "the vampire princess". I had taken a lot of teasing about it ever since Jason found the story.  
  
"Why not? It's cute," he grinned.  
  
"I am not a freaking princess, and you better not call me that or I'll have the waiters come over and sing Happy Birthday so everyone in the place can hear."  
  
"You wouldn't." He glared at me.  
  
I glared back. "Watch me." We stared at each other for a few seconds.  
  
"You would, too. You're an evil woman," he informed me.  
  
I smiled without a hint of remorse. "You bet. Now here, open your present." I slid a small box across the table.  
  
He gave me a humorous look and unwrapped it, then his eyes widened when he opened the box. "Wow." He took out the gold watch and examined it. It was very good quality, an elegant design trimmed with platinum, with a fox engraved just under the number 12. He lifted his warm blue eyes from the watch to look at me.  
  
"I was debating between that and cuff-links, but I thought you'd get more use out of the watch," I commented casually.  
  
"This is way too much," he protested.  
  
I gave him an exasperated look. "You risk your life for me. For that, I think I can afford to loosen the purse strings."  
  
He lifted his eyebrows at me. "Is that the only reason?"  
  
I smiled, a slightly mysterious look. "No, but I don't think your ego needs any more inflating, so it's the only reason you're going to get."  
  
"Ahh, you know ya love me," he winked at me.  
  
I grumbled and picked up the menu. "Let's order, shall we?"  
  
"Wait," he said, touching my hand. I looked up to find him regarding me with unusual seriousness. He pitched his voice low. "I heard what happened with the alphas."  
  
"Who hasn't?" I growled irritably, albeit quietly.  
  
"Listen, if I knew what they were going to do, I would have warned you, Mar. I know you're probably not feeling too kindly about shifters right now, but just remember- I don't have some alpha pulling my strings. Hell, I am the top werefox in this town. I don't think Gil would give me a fight about it, do you?"  
  
Despite myself, I smiled.  
  
"The point is, my loyalties belong to whoever I choose to give them to. And in this town, that's you, me, and your dad. I'm not going to backstab you for anybody else."  
  
I looked down at the table, away from his too-honest gaze.  
  
"I don't blame you for not feelin' too trusting right now, but you don't have to believe me. If I haven't proven my loyalty yet, I will. You gave me a shot when nobody else had any use for me. You had no reason to trust me, but you did. That means a hell of a lot to me, more than you know. And you know what? I bet Gil would agree with me. I could barely get him talking to me until I asked him about you. Then it was all I could do to shut him up."  
  
"Come on," I smiled.  
  
"I'm serious. I just don't want you feeling like you're alone, because you're not. You've earned more loyalty than you realize."  
  
"You're the birthday boy. Doesn't that mean _I'm_ the one who should be embarrassing _you_?" I quipped, a little unnerved by his unusual intensity.  
  
He sat back, studying me. "Just remember what I said, Mara. You don't have to doubt everyone's loyalty." He smiled, a shadow of his usual grin. "Now, what do you think of the potato skins for an appetizer?"  
  
I laughed a little. "Sounds great to me."  
  
"And maybe there's a way I can start to prove my loyalty right now," Nicholas said. He explained, and as I listened I began to smile. Papa was going to be very pleased.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
A knock on my door later that night heralded more surprises.  
  
"Hey, Mara." Jason smiled, but it was only a shadowed version of his usual grin. "Can we come in?"  
  
"Of course," I stood back, and Jason came in, followed by Nathaniel, Papa, and Damian. "What's wrong?"  
  
"There's just some stuff you need to know before that meeting tomorrow night," he said, abandoning the pretense of cheerfulness. I glanced over at the others; Nathaniel's face was worried, Papa's and Damian's very still and controlled.  
  
"Sit down, _ma fille_ ," Papa said. "We have much to discuss."  
  
Papa always was a master of understatements.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
I followed Papa into the sitting room, which was now set up for the meeting with a long rectangular table big enough for all the shifter leaders, plus Papa, Mother, and me. All of us took our seats. Papa Asher, as Papa's second, stood behind Papa. Caden stood behind me. I had objected to that, but Caden pointed out that it put him in a better position to protect me, and Papa added that it only helped us to remind the lycanthrope leaders that I was not without allies of my own.  
  
"I am sure you all know why I called this meeting," Papa said in a firm, carrying voice. "It is a stipulation of the treaties I hold with all of you that none of us try to undermine one another's authority over our people. Yet many among you have done just that in trying to unduly influence my daughter without my knowledge."  
  
"Jean-Claude..." Rafael began.  
  
Papa merely continued as if he had not heard. "The Ulfric of the wolves has already made a formal apology and reparations to us for the breach of etiquette, but as of yet the leaders of the rats, hyenas, and leopards have done nothing to amend the insult to me and mine. Though the lions did not directly take part, I am told that your actions were supported by their Rex as well. The question stands now as to whether you intend to make amends for your actions, or if the vampires of St. Louis must reconsider our treaties with such dubious allies."  
  
"You go too far, Jean-Claude!" Rafael said with a bite of anger in his voice.  
  
"Do I?" Papa replied smoothly, with an unflustered smile. "I think not. We hired your people as guards on the agreement that our secrets are to be kept. Yet it was one of your own people, Rafael, who betrayed my daughter's confidence and you who revealed it to the other alphas. Haliaka, you used her trust in you to place her in a situation intended to intimidate her."  
  
Haliaka winced slightly and looked at me. "We never intended to harm you, Mara." I stared coldly back. Rafael's expression was stony, Haven's was resentful, and Micah's calm. I hid my dour amusement- that calm was probably not going to last much longer.  
  
I shook out the lacy cuffs of my dress shirt and folded my hands in my lap. My clothes, a black skirt suit with a red blouse, were deliberately chosen to be reminiscent of my father's style without being a copy. All the better to remind them I was one of Papa's people, but not a cipher. Papa wore black linen trousers with one of his lacy white shirts.  
  
"By all these actions you have proven you do not return the trust we have placed in you. As such, it is clear the treaties we hold with you are no longer of use. Thus, Oba, Rat King, Rex, the service of your people will no longer be required here or in any of my businesses, either as guards or as _pommes de sang_."  
  
It was almost comical how their mouths fell open simultaneously.  
  
Rafael recovered first. "You need my people, Jean-Claude. Without us you don't have enough soldiers to protect your vampires."  
  
Papa merely smiled and looked at me. I turned in my chair to look at Nicholas, who stood by the door. He smiled back and opened the door.  
  
  
_"And maybe there's a way I can start to prove my loyalty right now," Nicholas said. "This thing with the other shifter groups. If it goes bad, it could leave you needing guards, right?"  
  
"Yes..." I said.  
  
"Well, I spent over a year in the shifter lockup. I know a lot of good soldiers from all the branches of service who got locked up and then kicked out of the military just for being shifters. If you need people, warriors, I bet some of my old friends would be happy to have the job. You say the word, and I'll start making calls."_  
  
  
No less than a dozen people walked into the room and took positions around the walls. They were all well-armed, all lycanthropes, and none rats, hyenas, leopards, or lions. Fortunately Nicholas knew a lot of werewolves in the lockup, plus shifters of less common varieties. There was even a werehawk in the group, as well as another tiger, and oddly enough, a swan. I was curious how the latter had gone unnoticed for several years before getting caught. Obviously she was smart, and that was all to the good.  
  
"We are not in the same position as when we first negotiated the treaty with your rats, Rafael," Papa said, looking utterly calm though I could practically feel his satisfaction. "If you wish the situation to continue as it has been, I will require certain assurances. From all of you."  
  
Haven was staring at the floor with a sullen look. Haliaka seemed torn, then finally said, "What kind of assurances?" At Rafael's reaction, she said, "No, this has gone too far. We only wanted to make sure she didn't get tricked by the wrong kind of guy, that she knew what was on the line. I've been a teenage girl, and many's the times I snuck out to meet some boy my dad didn't like. And I only had hormones to contend with; I didn't have vampire powers pushing me at guys too." She sighed and looked at me. "Things turned out okay with Caden, but... I'm sorry, Mara..." she looked at Papa, "what if she goes behind your back again?"  
  
Now the sensation was on our side of the table. Papa and Mother stiffened, staring at her. Caden drew in his breath sharply. I gaped at her wordlessly for a moment, then, "What do you mean, _again_? I have never gone behind my father's back for any man!"  
  
"I would never so betray my own honor or Mara's!" Caden bit out.  
  
Haliaka frowned at me. "But... we heard that Jean-Claude forbade you to see Caden. Something about him having a bad rep from his days with the Council."  
  
"Clearly you have been misinformed," Papa said. His face was calm, but his voice held a dangerous hiss that made me shiver just from being near it. "And I would very much like to know who has been spreading such lies."  
  
Haliaka's gaze darted from me to my father and back. "You never told her to stay away from Caden?" My mother shook her head, still staring at Haliaka.  
  
"I give you my word of honor that I have never forbidden Mara's relationship with Caden," Papa said firmly. Haliaka looked thunderstruck, Rafael inscrutable, and Haven irritated. Micah's smile had faded. "Now who told you such things?"  
  
"Do we really need to ask that?" I said coldly, staring down the table. "Nimir-Raj?"  
  
Haliaka looked at Rafael, who had turned in his chair to stare coldly at Micah. "Yes indeed, Micah. Why would you tell me that if you know it wasn't true?"  
  
Richard was cursing under his breath. "This is the first I've heard of this. Believe me, Jean-Claude, Anita, Mara, if I had known, I'd have told you."  
  
"I'm sure you didn't," I told Richard. "You wouldn't have believed it from him, plus you know me a lot better than the other lycanthrope leaders because you had me in your class for a year. You would have known it was a lie." I looked back at Haliaka and Rafael. "But many of your people are our guards. Surely they could have told you there were no such orders?"  
  
Rafael had a hooded look that boded ill for someone. "Micah said that your father was trying to keep it quiet, that he didn't want to undercut Caden's authority with the guards by having them spy on him. He said he only knew because your mother told him."  
  
Mother was staring at Micah in growing fury. "Why?" she spat. "Why would you do it?"  
  
"Because he has hated our child from the day she was born," Papa said calmly. Mother, Haliaka, Rafael, and Haven turned to stare at him, shocked. "For the same reasons our Richard held her in such distaste for so long."  
  
"The difference being that Richard was a lot more honest about it, but he wouldn't have harmed a child no matter how much he resented me," I added.  
  
Richard's face was buried in his hands. "The other baby."  
  
I nodded, controlling my expression. "My twin, who was born dead. Who wasn't a hybrid." I sat back in my seat. "It makes perfect sense, now that I think about it. I always knew Micah didn't like me nearly as much as he pretended to. If that other baby had survived, it would have been perfect for Micah's plans. If it was Nathaniel's, so much the better for keeping Mother closer to the pard. Even if the child had belonged to Richard or one of the wolves, Mother and Richard fought so much that Micah could have played the perfect husband and father, Nathaniel would have been Nathaniel, and Mother would still have been drawn closer to the pard." I turned a cold stare on Micah. "But I threw a monkey wrench in his plans by being Jean-Claude's child. Instead of being a closer tie to the pard, I drew Mother closer to the vampires, distracted her from the leopards. Maybe he even thought that if I hadn't existed, that other baby might have survived."  
  
I felt Caden's shock before he 'spoke'. _Why did you never tell me of this, cariad?  
  
I didn't know myself until last night_, I told him.  
  
I continued. "But people were watching, so you couldn't harm me directly. Not to mention that even as an infant I screamed bloody murder if you came near me." I smiled, but the look held no warmth. "I've always wondered why Mother allowed me to move to the Circus so early. No one dared tell Mother the truth about you, so I'll bet she never thought to be suspicious when you told her I would be happier at the Circus with my father. And you've been nudging us for years since, haven't you? Driving a wedge between us." I kept smiling icily. "It's funny- you've always said you would do anything to protect your pard. Anything to keep Mother protecting your leopards. And you meant it, didn't you? Even if 'anything' meant getting her inconvenient child out of the way, either directly or by driving me away one way or another."  
  
Micah finally recovered, and turned to Mother. "Anita, surely you can't believe this. Mara has never liked me, you know that. I don't know why she would lie like this, but..."  
  
"Do not _dare_ accuse my daughter of lying, Micah!" Papa's voice was like razor-sharp blades.  
  
Mother was shaking her head, looking as stunned as I had ever seen her. "I can't believe this," she whispered.  
  
"Believe it, Anita," Jason said, coming in the door closely followed by Nathaniel. "I saw the look on his face when he looked at Mara that first day in the hospital, Nathaniel and I both. It was scary. It wasn't just anger. It was hate. He thought no one saw, but we did. So I went straight to Jean-Claude. He and Asher cornered Micah later and made sure he knew he would pay dearly if anything happened to her."  
  
Her stunned gaze turned to Nathaniel, who nodded, gazing at her sadly.  
  
"Why didn't anybody tell me?" she whispered.  
  
"I did try, Anita. You thought I was just jealous." Jason said, his usual cheery grin vanished like a dream. "We just made sure there was always someone trustworthy with her, and got her away from your house as soon as we could. Once she was with Jean-Claude, she was out of danger."  
  
"Did you never wonder why I was willing to bring our child here when I did not consider it safe enough before?" Papa added. "I did want her with me, but more than that, I knew she was in more danger living with you and Micah than here at the Circus."  
  
Rafael cleared his throat. "Obviously we have been misled, but the original problem still remains, Jean-Claude."  
  
"That question has been addressed, Rafael. Mara has given her answer and I support it. Her word will be kept," my father said, and that was that.  
  
  
  
By the end of that very eventful meeting, much had changed in the preternatural community of St. Louis. The leopards nearly got kicked out of the Coalition, but it was finally agreed that they didn't all deserve to be punished for Micah's misdeeds. The compromise was that Micah and any of his leopards who wanted to join him were "invited" to leave town. The rest stayed under Mother's leadership. Few chose to leave. Haliaka came to an agreement with Papa pretty quickly, and her hyenas are still here. Rafael and Haven are still in negotiations with Papa, but things will probably go back to mostly normal. Nicholas's comrades are staying, though, and more are coming. This incident has shown us that we, Papa's kiss, need to diversify our allies a little more.  
  
As for the question of my future lovers, that remains to be seen. But even with the newly friendly attitude of the wereleaders, I think it will be easier in the long run to just avoid any of their animal groups. It's amusing to note, however, that some new faces have showed up among the local shifter groups- suspiciously handsome male faces- and many of them have gone to work for Papa's businesses, conveniently near at hand to meet me. It would be flattering, but I know what they really want: a tie with me is a tie with Papa's kiss, and many of the shifter groups want that. But I have to think- what if they're right, and my lovers might gain power too? Who would you choose to give that power to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
_A week later..._  
  
I stood with the others in the sitting room, waiting to greet our guest. Papa still had not told me who it was, much to my annoyance. With truly vampire evasiveness, he had simply told me, "It is someone worthy of a proper reception, who wishes to see you." Drat Papa and his secrets anyway.  
  
I stiffened a bit when I heard the door above open, my mind racing through possibilities about our mysterious visitor. Requiem was the first through the door at the base of the stairs. He gave me an unreadable look before stepping aside. Obviously the visitor was a VIP if s/he rated Father's third just for meet-and-greet duty.  
  
Then our visitor came through the door and gave me a very familiar grin. I put a hand to my mouth and laughed in shock. "Sampson!"  
  
"Miss me?" he smiled. He unfastened his cuff and offered me his wrist, but I gave him a dry look. We hesitated for a moment, then I dashed forward and he caught me up in a delighted hug.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" I scolded, still held in his arms a few inches above the floor. He wasn't a lot taller than me- around 5'10"- but he had gotten preternatural strength from both parents.  
  
"I wanted to surprise you," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
I huffed. "You are the _most_ exasperating man. Put me down, and tell me if you'll have time for us to visit."  
  
He flashed me that grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief, and carefully let me down onto my feet. "Well, since I came here to visit you, we'll have the whole two weeks to do what we want."  
  
"You came here for two weeks just to visit _me_?" I asked disbelievingly.  
  
"Why not? You're cuter than Tom and Cris," he said, his hazel eyes sparkling with amusement.  
  
"Goofball." I laughed and swatted his shoulder in affectionate annoyance. "You should have told me! I could have made plans."  
  
"Seems to me we've never had a hard time winging it," he replied without a shred of shame. "I heard that your father remodeled Danse Macabre. Maybe you could show me...?"  
  
"Sounds great. You like dancing?"  
  
"You know me, I love music, and I can muddle through dancing." Yeah right. If he were nearly as good at modern dance as he was at ballroom dancing, he'd do better than just "muddle through".  
  
"It's a date then. In the meantime, shall I escort you to your room? If you don't mind the informality of just the two of us. Requiem can see to your people."  
  
"I didn't bring anyone else," he responded casually.  
  
"What?" I stared at him, my smile vanishing in dawning shock. "Are you _mental_ , coming here alone?" I asked unbelievingly. "This is some political thing, isn't it? Because of what happened in Boston."  
  
He shrugged. "Partly, but also because I'd rather not have babysitters looking over my shoulder all the time. I came to have fun with a friend, not play politics."  
  
I shook my head. "You are crazy, you know that?"  
  
I reached for his bag but he waved me off, picking it up himself. "Lead the way." I laughed and took his arm, leading him out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
I paused before the door, actually nervous. Why in the world should I be? I mean, aside from the fact I was about to go into a man's bedroom. But... it was Gil. I used to think nothing of visiting to chat and cuddle with him. _But I wasn't a powerful succubus then_ , I thought, then shook my head. This was stupid. I couldn't be leery of everything with a Y-chromosome short of my Papas. If I couldn't trust Gil, who could I trust?  
  
"Mara?" The door was open a crack, a green eye peering out at me. Of course he would smell me hovering out here, even if he didn't hear me.  
  
I smiled at him. "Hi, Gil. Is this a bad time?"  
  
"No. C-come in." He opened the door with enough for me to enter, staying behind it as he did. He shut the door and locked it after me. I held out my hands to him. He hesitated, then slipped into my arms with liquid lycanthrope grace and wrapped his arms around me. He was tall enough that he had to hunch a little to hide his face in my hair.  
  
"Aw, Gil," I murmured, stroking his hair. "You want to cuddle?" He nodded without lifting his face from my hair. "Come on." I took his hand and pulled him over to the love seat. He sat down, and I sat next to him in the curve of his arm, turning to put my legs across his lap and rest my head on his shoulder. There were very few men I would cuddle with like this, but to lycanthropes a cuddle is a cuddle, it doesn't have to be more. And Gil was safe in a way most men would never be. He wouldn't push or take things the wrong way. He just liked that I would cuddle him. Since most weres stick to their own breeds and Gil had been the only werefox in town for years, he didn't get the offer from many people. "Hasn't Nicholas been cuddling with you?"  
  
"Sometimes," he said softly, encircling me in his arms. "I don't think he likes me very much."  
  
"I'm sure that's not true," I said reassuringly.  
  
"I'm not brave like him. He would like me if I could fight." It was the closest Gil came to arguing.  
  
"Even if that's true, I like you exactly as you are," I informed him firmly.  
  
"You do?" he asked shyly.  
  
"Of course I do. I don't cuddle people I don't like."  
  
He was silent for a while, petting my hair where it fell over my shoulder and down my arm. I breathed out a long breath, relaxing in his arms, and mused that lycanthropes really had something here. Just cuddle for the sake of cuddling. "I wish I were brave," he said softly. "Then I could have gone to Boston with you. I could have protected you instead of just staying here being scared, and maybe you wouldn't have been hurt."  
  
"Oh, Gil," I stroked his arm. "I had people to protect me. I had Caden with me, and you know he's brave, but I still got hurt. I don't think anyone could have prevented it. I'm glad you were here and safe." I kissed his cheek. "If you were different, you wouldn't be my Gil."  
  
He didn't answer, but only held me.  
  
  
  
  
I awoke with a gasp, my heart pounding from some dimly-remembered fear.  
  
There was a jolt nearby. "What's wrong?"  
  
I looked around and saw Gil lying behind me on the bed. We were both fully clothed on top of the blankets. I must have fallen asleep while cuddling him, and he had put me on the bed and lay down with me.  
  
"Nothing," I said, slightly breathless. "Just a nightmare."  
  
"About Boston?" His uptilted green eyes studied me closely, and I felt slightly uncomfortable under his scrutiny. He was so afraid most of the time that it was easy to forget there was a good mind behind all that fear.  
  
I shrugged. "Maybe. I don't remember the dreams, I just wake up scared."  
  
"She can't hurt you anymore," he said.  
  
"I know that," I returned, annoyed, and he flinched a little. I instantly felt guilty. "I'm sorry, Gil, I'm not mad at you. It's just... I'm just tired and stressed." He nodded silently. I glanced at the door, then scooted closer to Gil. "Can I tell you something secret? Something you can't tell anyone, can't even hint that you know, okay?"  
  
He nodded. "I won't betray you, Mara. You can trust me." He held out his arm to me.  
  
I knew he was telling the truth, but even still, I hesitated before cuddling nearer so my mouth was close to his ear. "The murderer- I don't think she was the only one, Gil. I think she had help."  
  
He drew in his breath suddenly and looked at me with wide eyes. "You're sure?"  
  
"Not completely, no. But what they've found... it was too much for one person alone to accomplish. She did the murders, but someone helped her. Maybe a lot of someones."  
  
"Do you think they'll try to kill you again?" he asked timidly.  
  
"After Boston, I'm too much in the spotlight, even if they could get to me here." I said, shaking my head. "But they'll go after hybrids again, I'm sure of it. Once the furor dies down, they'll try again. They're too determined not to."  
  
"Does Caden know?" he asked.  
  
"He does, but he mostly just cares that I'm safe. The FBI is investigating it, but... all the victims were hybrids, Gil. Not humans. And it's only humans investigating. Why waste their time seeking further when the proven killer is already dead?" I pulled away from him, sitting up stiffly with my knees pulled up in front of me.  
  
"I know of at least four hybrids who tried to join law enforcement agencies. They all had clean records, good psych profiles... and they were all rejected, for very flimsy reasons." I stared at the floor, away from Gil's too-discerning gaze. "We're not human. And the humans aren't going to forget that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
I lay sprawled on the couch in the sitting room the next afternoon, staring at the ceiling. I had tried to read, but soon tossed the book aside in frustration. That alone showed how agitated I was- if I was too upset to read, that was saying something. It was hours until most of Papa's businesses opened, and anyway he had given me the week off to entertain our guest. It would be rude to take off and leave Sampson to fend for himself.  
  
Maybe a little music would help. Nobody else was in the sitting room, so what the hell. I flipped through the mp3 player's menus, picked a song, plugged it into the stereo and pushed play, then lay back on the couch as the music began.  
  
"El Tango de Roxanne. Interesting choice." I looked up to find our guest in the doorway, watching me thoughtfully. "Something on your mind?"  
  
"These days, there's always something on my mind," I muttered darkly. Then I sat up and stood to greet him. "Sorry, I'm being a lousy host. Don't mind me, I'm just moody lately."  
  
He smiled a little, but instead of answering he began to sing softly along with the song.  
  
_His eyes upon your face,  
His hand upon your hand,  
His lips caress your skin,  
It's more than I can stand!  
  
_ I quietly began to sing the next verse with him.  
  
_Why does my heart cry?  
Feelings I can't fight,  
You're free to leave me,  
But just don't deceive me  
And please,  
Believe me when I say,  
I love you.  
  
_ He sat on the couch next to me, his arm along the back, and we sat comfortably silent until the song ended.  
  
"I would ask what's on your mind, but the choice of music was kind of a giveaway," he commented with a wry smile. "Unless Caden is a naughtier boy than I took him for."  
  
I gave him an annoyed look tempered with affection. "You know better."  
  
He laughed quietly. "Yes, I do." He tilted his head, watching me. "Stop me if I'm wrong. I'm sure you don't have the _ardeur._.." I nodded. "But you are still Belle Morte's line, and both your parents have the powers of that bloodline. It's obvious that you've inherited some of their power, and I'm guessing you've got some of the requirements that come with it too." I didn't answer, and he gave me a small, rueful smile. "I'm a siren, and that isn't so different from being a succubus. If you want to talk..." he trailed off.  
  
"Thanks," I said, though I doubted I would take him up on it. He was, after all, a guy. _But not just a guy,_ I thought: a siren, and an old friend. He probably understood vampire politics better than any other friend I had, and he knew about dealing with such powers...  
  
I flicked a glare at him. "You had better not be leaning on me." Most mind tricks wouldn't get past my radar, but Sampson's wasn't so much telepathy as empathy, subtle enough to go unnoticed if you weren't watching for it. Just a little nudge in the direction he wanted you to go.  
  
He shrugged with a slightly guilty look. "A little, but not much. You seem like you need to talk."  
  
"Dirty pool, Sampson." Truthfully I was more annoyed that it took me so long to realize. Stupid of me to relax my guard that much, even just with Sampson. I should have learned better from the alpha incident.  
  
"Come on," Sampson coaxed. "You know you can talk to me. I wouldn't break your confidence."  
  
"Why do you care?" I asked, still a bit annoyed.  
  
A slight wince crossed his face. "You're my friend, and something is bothering you. Isn't that enough?" I looked away, and he sighed. "Mara, I don't want what happened in Boston to come between us."  
  
"It's not that, Sampson, but you understand the politics, probably better than I do. You know we don't have the luxury of assuming everyone is absolutely honest."  
  
He moved back from me, the smile fading. "I'm not 'everyone', Mara. I thought we were closer than that." He looked away and stood up. "I guess I was wrong." He walked toward the door.  
  
"Sampson!" I called. He took another step as if to keep going, then stopped but didn't look back, one hand on the doorframe. "I did confide in someone I've known all my life, because I thought I could trust her." I cleared my tightened throat. "I was wrong."  
  
He looked over his shoulder, then turned back to me. "I understand," he said softly. "I'm sorry."  
  
I stood and walked over to put my arms around him, and felt his arms surround me. I laughed a little, not happily. "I don't even know who I can trust enough to _talk_ to, and I'm supposed to choose lovers?" He stroked my hair and I looked up at him. He seemed about to say something. "What is it?"  
  
He smiled a bit. "Nothing." His arms tightened around me for a moment. "I'll always be your friend, Mara, no matter what happens."  
  
I just stood in his arms and wished I could believe him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
It was in low spirits that I checked the hybrid boards that night. The first private message I got didn't help.  
  
**From** silkandlace:  
  
_Hey Mara. Sorry I didn't get to say hi to you at the con, but I'm really glad  
you're okay. Listen- what is the deal with your boyfriend? My vad saw him  
and **freaked**. He practically dragged me away and made me swear not to go  
near either of you again. And I know my vad likes you. Is it some vampire  
junk I don't know about?_  
  
Great. Like I really wanted to get into the evils of the Vampire Council with my friends on the hybrid boards. I should have expected that at least one vampire there would recognize Caden from his days serving the Dragon. It was doubtful that Lacy would be the last one whose vad (hybrid slang for 'vampire dad') freaked at the sight of "the Dragon's Death" walking among their children.  
  
**From** Technophile:  
  
_Let's just say he's a very good warrior with an undeservedly scary  
reputation and leave it at that, okay? And if your vad made you promise,  
then should you really be talking to me?_  
  
I sighed. Whoever said ignorance is bliss probably wasn't wrong. I skimmed some of the threads. Much of the talk was still about Boston and the hybrid murders, which I really didn't want to get into again.  
  
Then I got another PM:  
  
**From** silkandlace:  
  
_I promised not to go near you, and I haven't. Don't have to get near you  
to email and phone. ;-)_  
  
I smiled. It made me feel better to know I had some loyal friends, even though I knew I'd probably never talk to Lacy face to face again. Most hybrids, especially those whose vads helped raise them, were scrupulous about keeping their words, but they could be nearly as sneaky as vampires too.  
  
After I logged off, I spent much of that night thinking dark thoughts about trust, loyalty, and the lack of such. Politics didn't mean you couldn't trust _anyone_ , but damn, sometimes it felt that way.  
  
  
  
================================================================================  
  
**Note:** This chapter features lyrics from "El Tango De Roxanne" from _Moulin Rouge_. The song was written by Sting, and performed by Ewan McGregor, Jose Feliciano, Jacek Koman, and Richard Roxburgh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would anybody be interested in a few little side notes and facts about this fic and the writing of it? I was thinking about adding them but want to know if that would pique anyone's interest or not. ;D


	5. "I bet you do..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since my dear readers have waited patiently for so long, I decided to upload a little more. Enjoy!

_Several days later..._  
  
I gave myself one last inspection in the mirror. The outfit was a bit racy and informal, but despite his upbringing, Sampson preferred casual as much as I did. However, the black halter top and longish handkerchief-hem skirt were perfect for a night of dancing. They weren't perfect for weapons, but I could hide my thigh sheaths for my gun and knives under the loose folds of the skirt. I turned and looked over my shoulder at my reflection. The outfit showed a lot of skin at my back, with just a few inches of midriff at the sides and front, and the effect was sexy without overdoing it.  
  
My mother would say I shouldn't wear the top without a bra, but that's my mother. She had too many years of Catholic school, and she never went dancing if she could help it. I, however, did, and I knew clubs could get very hot when you were exerting yourself. Plus I wasn't about to embarrass myself and Sampson by dressing like a nun to go to a nightclub.  
  
I pinned my hair up and debated over jewelry, then settled for a pair of dangly silver earrings. Black thigh-highs and some strappy high heels (albeit fairly low ones, since I intended to be on my feet a lot), and I was ready to go.  
  
I walked into the sitting room where Sampson was already waiting. His reaction did not disappoint.  
  
"Wow. That's..." he said with lifted eyebrows, giving me a polite but thorough look over. "That dress you had on in Cape Cod was great, but this is better."  
  
"Thanks," I smiled. "You look pretty good yourself." It was an understatement. He wore nicely snug-fitting jeans and a shirt of some obviously expensive material that had a subtle shimmer effect, done in blending shades of blue and green with hints of gold in places; a pattern reminiscent of the surface of the sea, but in deep, rich jewel tones. It complemented his light tan and brought out the green in his eyes.  
  
"Just 'pretty good'?" he repeated in tones of wounded righteousness.  
  
"Okay, you look great," I allowed with a laugh. "I'll probably be running women away from you all night."  
  
"Turnabout's fair play." He offered me his arm and we left for an evening of fun.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Sampson looked around as we entered Danse Macabre. "I like it."  
  
I looked around too, reacquainting myself with all the changes. Papa had spared no expense in remodeling the hottest dance club in town, and it showed. "I'm so glad he did it. I told Papa for years that those mannequins were ghoulish."  
  
Sampson laughed. "No argument here. What did he say?"  
  
"He said," I mimicked Papa's French accent, "'That is the point, _ma fille_. Humans come here to feel the chill of fear down their spines in safety'. I told him there's a difference between enjoyably scary and just creepy."  
  
"Did he listen?" Sampson smiled as if he already knew the answer.  
  
"Do parents ever?" I slipped my hand into his. At his eyebrows-up surprised look, I said, "Just making sure we don't get separated in the crowd. I can't believe it's this crowded on a Wednesday."  
  
"Uh-huh," he said very skeptically.  
  
I gave him an affectionately annoyed look. "What, you want me to let you get spirited away by some underdressed floozy? You _are_ my date."  
  
"Am I?" He gave me a mock-surprised look, and I shrugged.  
  
"We came here together, didn't we? That counts."  
  
"So you're jealous?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with laughter. We had been teasing each other for years, and it was a welcome feeling to fall into our old fun banter.  
  
I laughed. "You wish. Come on, there's a table free over here."  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
We had chatted for a while on various topics when a new song started and I perked up. "Hey, this is one of Rodrigo's songs! Come on, we've got to dance to this!" I grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the dance floor.  
  
"Umm, I don't know how good I'll be, I'm not much of a dancer," he demurred.  
  
"Oh, you'll be fine!" I laughingly assured him. "Nobody's looking anyway. Come on!"  
  
Laughing, he let me pull him onto the floor, finding a spot as the lyrics began. Then his laugh faded and he pulled me against his body with an arm around my waist, startling me. We started to move, and I discovered that he could handle himself on the dance floor just fine. More than fine.  
  
_Tonight you're all I know;  
all I feel is your body  
all I see is you  
all I am is yours  
just don't leave me tonight_  
  
He held me tight to him as we moved to the music, his eyes on mine with no trace of hesitation. His hands smoothed down my back to rest on the bare skin of my waist. His eyes challenged me, and I intended to meet the challenge- and better. Damn, but the boy could move. I guess he'd had plenty of years to practice while still looking young enough to fit with the crowd of twenty-somethings packed around us.  
  
_Give me tonight  
'cause you're all I need  
Take me with you,  
I'll go where you lead  
Till the night is over  
I swear I'll be all that you need  
Give me tonight..._  
  
Since there was almost no space between us, his every move was very noticeable. I turned in his arms and we danced back to front, his arm around my waist, his hand flat on my midriff, mine up over my shoulder so I could bury my fingers in the curls behind his head while we danced, his breath warm against my neck. He caught my hand and twirled me around and lifted me so our eyes were at exactly the same level, then let me slide slowly down his body.  
  
As the music reached its final flourish, I spun outward and then back into his arms, so we ended front-to-front, bodies pressed together from chest to hips, his knee partly between mine, both of us flushed and breathing hard. We looked at each other and began to laugh breathlessly, hearts pounding from the exertion. A flush of heat burned through my body. Obviously the air conditioning needed to be turned up.  
  
"You win," he said as we walked off the floor.  
  
"I'd call it more of a draw," I laughed. "'Not much of a dancer', huh? Sneaky bastard."  
  
"I thought modesty was becoming," he said with a glance from under his lashes that was supposed to be shy, but so wasn't.  
  
"Oh, is that what you call it?" I teased him. What a smartass he was. No wonder we had been friends for so long.  
  
  
  
We were resting at a table talking when Damian appeared next to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me onto the floor for a dance. It looked sexy to the crowd, but I knew he was holding back while making it look good. Asher and Papa had taught me the classic dances, but it was Damian who had taught me modern dancing. No, I knew what it really was: a chance for him to grill me.  
  
"That was quite a dance," he said just above my ear. "Since when do you do that with Sampson?"  
  
I slid an arm around his neck. "I've never danced with Sampson before except formal stuff, so I guess since now."  
  
"So why come here instead of another club? You don't trust him?" he muttered.  
  
I gave him a startled look. "It was his idea to come here. He was curious about the club's new look." I wrapped a lock of his bright red hair around my fingers as we danced. "And maybe he wants me to know I can trust him."  
  
He caught my hand and pulled my arm around his neck. "Why should it matter to him?"  
  
I frowned. "Because we're friends, maybe?" I replied with a hint of sarcasm. "Friends trust each other. Besides, we're having fun."  
  
"Hmm," he said in a very skeptical tone. Damian the ever-suspicious. The music ended and I kissed his cheek then left him to his circle of admirers.  
  
My expression must have been slightly disgruntled as I returned to the table, because Sampson smiled sympathetically. "Survived the inquisition, huh? Sorry if that was my fault."  
  
"Don't worry, it's not. That happens all the time," I told him. "I have more babysitters than a daycare center."  
  
He laughed. "I know the feeling."  
  
I smiled back. "I bet you do."  
  
He gave me a quick grin. "I got you a drink. I hope what I chose is okay, it's good energy for dancing."  
  
"Oh, you're an angel," I sighed, reaching for the cold glass and sipping its contents blissfully. Caden gave me the mental equivalent of a wrinkled nose, making me laugh. _One of these days you and I should come here_ , I told him.  
  
_I would rather stay home with you_ , he purred suggestively.  
  
_Bad master_ , I scolded, blushing at the thoughts that inspired. _I'm in public_. I felt his laughter before he vanished, closing off the marks between us.  
  
"Earth to Mara," Sampson waved a hand in front of my face.  
  
I cleared my throat and focused on Sampson. "Um, sorry, what did I miss?"  
  
He gave me a half-playful aggrieved look. "When we finish the drinks, would you like to head back to the dance floor?"  
  
"Sounds good," I smiled.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
When we got back to the Circus hours later, the first thing I did was lose the shoes.  
  
"Argh," I groaned, pulling off the strappy black high heels. "I hate high heels." They were good quality and comfortable for what they were, but heels are heels.  
  
"Then why wear them?" Sampson asked amusedly, kicking off his own dress shoes. I like a man who appreciates the comfort of bare feet.  
  
"Because they look good," I mumbled.  
  
"Aw, you wanted to look good for little old me?" he said in an exaggeratedly syrupy tone. "I'm touched."  
  
I gave him a halfhearted glare. "Don't flatter yourself. I just didn't want to catch grief from Papa about wearing flats with a skirt."  
  
Sampson sat in the chair next to me, turned to face me, grinning. "Of course not." He patted his knees. "Give me your feet."  
  
"What?"  
  
He smiled that cheerful boy-next-door smile. "Trust me, I'm good at this."  
  
I gave him a mildly suspicious look. "I never trust a man who says that."  
  
He glared at me, though it was ruined by the smile he was trying to hide. "Come on, it's just a footrub. I promise to be a gentleman."  
  
"I don't trust men who say that, either," I commented, but I smiled and put my stockinged feet up onto his leg. He took one foot in his hands and began to massage it, and I mused that his hands were graceful for being so big, or rather that my foot seemed small in them.  
  
He wasn't kidding, he _was_ good at it. I suppressed a little appreciative moan, but apparently not enough because he laughed low and wickedly. "Wow, usually it's at least the third date before I get sounds like that from a woman."  
  
I opened my eyes a bit to glare. "Careful, pal, I don't let just anybody touch my feet."  
  
"I'm honored," he grinned, transferring his attentions to the other foot.  
  
"Wiseass," I grumbled with no heat.  
  
"Oooh, _toes_..." he crooned with a fake lustful look, and I lost the battle with my laughter.  
  
"You joke, but I know people like that," I informed him amusedly. "You'd be amazed at some of the kinky people around here."  
  
"I can imagine," he grinned. "Well, don't worry. I can appreciate cute feet, but there are a lot of parts of a woman's body I like much better."  
  
I clapped my hands over my ears. "I do _not_ want to know."  
  
"I bet you do..." he said singsong and grinned, his green-brown eyes dancing with mischief.  
  
"You wish," I growled.  
  
He just laughed. "I do like the red toenail polish, though. Sexy."  
  
I shrugged. I didn't really wear it to be sexy. I liked the color and how it looked, but I also liked that it was one thing about me that wasn't "just like my mother" or "just like my father". As far as I know, neither Papa nor Mother ever had red toenails. My life didn't have a lot of room for teenage rebellion, but I took what I could get.  
  
Lisandro poked his head into the kitchen. "Am I interrupting something?"  
  
"No," I said.  
"Yes," said Sampson at the same time.  
  
"No," I glared at Sampson. He just smiled back.  
  
Lisandro looked from me to Sampson, to my feet in Sampson's lap. "Right, well, I'll just grab a snack and go, okay?"  
  
"Take your time," I told him, giving Sampson a _behave yourself_ look.  
  
He grinned shamelessly. "So how about this arboretum I keep hearing about? That wasn't here last time I visited."  
  
"No, we just put it in a couple of years ago. I can show it to you, if you're up for some stair-climbing."  
  
"Lead the way," he said.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
"Wow," Sampson said when we got to the top of the steps and he got a good look at the arboretum. "I would never have guessed you had all this hidden up here."  
  
"Living underground, it's easy to lose touch with nature. We created this to help keep us sane." I smiled. "It's good to have something we can all enjoy."  
  
"I didn't realize this many nocturnal flowers could grow in this region."  
  
"It's planted with both nocturnal and diurnal flowers. You see the moonflowers over there?" I pointed at the flowers which looked like large white morning glories. "There's morning glories planted right next to them, in lots of colors. I specifically requested them when we were planning."  
  
"I didn't know you like morning glories."  
  
"Oh yes, they're my favorites. They can be so lovely; it's sad that many people think of them as weeds. If they were delicate and difficult to grow they would probably be treasured, but because they're hardy and independent people take them for granted."  
  
"Boy, is that a story of life," he opined with a wry smile. I gave him a sympathetic look, knowing how often his intelligence and sense of duty were taken for granted by his family.  
  
"If we're still awake after dawn, we can come back and see them open. They're very pretty, especially the purple ones."  
  
"I'd like that." He glanced up through the windows in the ceiling. "Actually, it's not that far from dawn now."  
  
"Come on, I'll give you the two-penny tour."  
  
Ever the gentleman, he offered me his arm. "Shall we?"  
  
  
  
We took our time, pausing here and there to admire interesting spots and discuss the plants, so it was some time before we had made the complete circuit. I guided him over to a bench hidden among some of the small potted trees, with a good view of the moonflowers. The bench was barely big enough for two people, but I had never been awkward with Sampson so it didn't bother me. He sat next to me, taking in the view with an oddly pensive air.  
  
I nudged him playfully. "I'm glad you came to visit. I've enjoyed it."  
  
He smiled, unusually subdued. "So am I. It was overdue." After a long pause, he glanced at me, then away at the flowers, then back. "Did you know my parents made an offer for us?"  
  
That was random. "What?"  
  
"To marry, I mean. You and I."  
  
Yikes! "No, I didn't. When was this?" I answered calmly. Go me.  
  
"Years ago, when my parents came to St. Louis to see you just after you were born. As soon as they were sure you were Jean-Claude's daughter, they offered to set up a betrothal between us."  
  
It shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. "I assume it didn't happen since this is the first I'm hearing of it." I noticed that dawn was very close and wondered if I had time to run downstairs and kiss Caden before he went to 'sleep' for the day. I reached out to him and 'saw' him in his room.  
  
_Do not worry, cariad_ , his voice breathed through my mind. _There will be time tonight_. I smiled at that thought.  
  
"You're right, your parents turned it down," Sampson said, drawing my attention back to him. He shrugged, and it was a very human-looking gesture. It was ironic how Sampson seemed more human than most of my friends when he was actually less human than any of them. "It wasn't a bad idea. I mean, we are the oldest children of two of the most powerful Masters in the States."  
  
"I bet you weren't thrilled about it, though." I sure wasn't. _Sleep well, my love_ , I sent to Caden, and felt his answering warmth. But underneath it, almost hidden from me, were other feelings. I reached out to him, trying to read them... I gasped as pain shot through me, heaviness weighing my body down. It wasn't severe, just startling.  
  
Sampson caught me with an arm around my shoulders, watching me with concern. "Are you all right?"  
  
The unnerving sensations faded, and after a few moments I sat upright again and gave Sampson a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. It was Caden. When they... die at dawn, there's a little pain. It just caught me off-guard."  
  
"Can't you shield yourself? Doesn't he shield you from it?" he inquired. He actually sounded worried. Awww.  
  
"He usually does, but I guess he was distracted today. We're still getting used to the marks." I ignored his first question because I didn't really feel like explaining that it felt cowardly to shield myself from the pain when Caden had to feel it every morning. "Anyway, you were saying about the arranged marriage?"  
  
He studied me for another moment, then let go of me. "Oh. Um, yeah. Well, considering you were a stranger, and a baby, I was kind of relieved when your parents refused." He smiled a little sheepishly.  
  
I wondered if I should feel insulted, but I sympathized. The idea of an arranged marriage bothered me too. A lot. "Well, that's... interesting." Abruptly the bench seemed too small, and I got up and strolled toward the flowers as if to take a closer look at them.  
  
"Yeah," he said absently.  
  
He was silent for a while as if deep in thought, then spoke again. His voice was strangely uncertain. "The thing of it is... knowing how close we came to being married has made me pay more attention to what kind of person you grew up to be." Another pause, giving me time to wonder where the hell this was going. I heard a rustle of clothing as he got up and moved toward me. "And... I like what I've seen."  
  
His voice was now very close behind me, and I turned to find him looking at me intently. He touched my cheek, brushing his thumb across my lips, and I was suddenly very conscious that he wasn't just my teasing, comfortable friend Sampson, but a grown man who wasn't looking at me like 'just a friend'. I started to speak, but he dipped his head and kissed me.  
  
_I shouldn't_ , thought a small part of my mind, _this is **Sampson!**_ , but it was drowned out by the desire that had been building all evening while I had denied it even to myself. His hands traced up my back and it occurred to me what a bad idea the halter top was because his hands on my bare skin made it hard to think, and yet such a good idea because his touch was so delicious. _Should have worn something a little more covering- like a turtleneck_ , muttered that part of my mind that was getting fainter by the moment.  
  
I placed my hands against his shoulders with a vague idea of pushing him away. Any second now. But his shirt was silk, thin and soft and warm from his body, obscuring nothing of the feel of him under it, and instead of pushing him away, I slid my hands along the sensual fabric. He moved closer until his body touched mine, and I buried my fingers in his dark curls and parted my lips for him. His tongue slipped into my mouth and abruptly need washed over me so strongly that my entire body shivered and a short moan escaped me; I was suffused with hunger for him, for _this_. He tasted clean, pure, with just a hint of saltiness; like the sea air, but so warm. I stood on tiptoes to better accommodate the kiss, pressing against him for more than just balance. Damn all these clothes in the way! I wanted his skin on mine. As his hands splayed out against my bare back I could almost hear the sound of waves on the shore...  
  
Wait. I _could_ hear the waves, and there was no sea anywhere within hearing range. I pushed at him a little. "Sampson..." I murmured.  
  
"I'm sorry," he gasped breathlessly, pulling away and resting his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to control you. It's just..." He looked at me, and his eyes were the flat black of his siren power. "It's harder to restrain my power tonight. It wants you, Mara, as much as I do." His breathing was uneven, but his hands moved to the part of my waist that was covered by cloth, which made it a little easier for me to think. He looked up, his expression troubled. "I should have told you, I have something like the _ardeur_. I have since I came into my siren powers. I've gone without feeding it for much longer than this so I thought I would be okay, but being so close with you when I want you anyway..."  
  
I frowned at him, thinking. There _had_ been a noticeable upward kick in power while he had kissed me. "It makes it harder," I answered distantly, remembering the last time my own need had gone unfed. It wasn't hard to recall with Sampson's hunger still making my body tense and alive with desire. Then his words sank in- Sampson wanted me?! _Me_ , personally, not just general need? Ooooh, I was in so far over my head.  
  
"Seriously, Mara, I am sorry," he continued, not noticing my distraction. "I didn't mean to feed my hunger into you. I swear I would never try to force you."  
  
He looked so honestly distressed that I put my hand on his arm reassuringly. "I know that, and I know you didn't do it on purpose."  
  
He looked at me, then looked away as if he was not sure he wanted to see my expression. "But... if you were willing," he said hesitantly, "it could be phenomenal between us."  
  
I turned away, unnerved by the whole conversation. "So what are you saying, that you want to be one of my lovers?"  
  
"No," he said, and I frowned in confusion and glanced back at him. He came up close behind me, and his hands slid over my arms. They were almost hot against my skin as he murmured in my ear. "I want to be your husband."

  
  
================================================================================

  
  
**Note:** This chapter features lyrics written by me. It didn't seem right to use a real person's lyrics and attribute them to a fictional character, so I just came up with some myself. So if they're unprofessional, you know who to blame. ;-)  



	6. "Aren't you going to say something?"

  
  
"My... what?" I whirled around and stared at him, shocked.  
  
He laughed a little, ruefully. "This isn't how I planned to ask you, but... yes, I would like to marry you." He reached into his pocket, pulling out a box. He opened the little velvet box and turned it to me, showing me the ring inside.  
  
I struggled for words. "My gods, you're serious. Sampson, I..."  
  
"Why don't we see how it fits?" he interrupted. He took the ring out and slipped it onto my finger while I was still too stunned to react. My hand was shaking as I lifted it into the light so I could better see the ring. It was a simple, elegant setting with three stones: two small deep blue sapphires on either side of a larger pale blue-green stone. "It's a blue diamond, set in white gold. The other two stones were originally regular diamonds, but I know how much you like sapphires so I got those instead." He was talking in a bit of a rush, as nervous as I had ever seen him.  
  
I blinked up at him, still speechless.  
  
"Don't answer yet," he said quickly. "Just hear me out. Please?"  
  
I hesitated, then nodded.  
  
"Mara, all the reasons that my parents had for setting up the marriage are still valid, and the reasons I didn't want it aren't true anymore. You're not a stranger, and," he laughed a little, "you're definitely not a baby. But this isn't about our parents now, it's about us." He stepped closer in front of me, and I looked up at him. Since he was only a few inches taller than me, it put our faces almost kissably close. "I knew you would be beautiful. With your bloodline, how could you be anything else? But loyal, intelligent, courageous... those things I couldn't have known then. But now I do, and I can't think of a better woman to be my wife than you. We'd make an amazing team, and can you imagine how powerful our children could be?"  
  
"Children?!" I gasped. Oh, _no way_.  
  
He smiled at my expression. "I'm not in a hurry, Mara. We have plenty of time to think about that."  
  
That was still a big problem, but there was an even bigger one. "Sampson, you slept with my _mother_."  
  
A look of displeasure crossed his face, and he pulled away. "That wasn't personal, Mara." I scoffed and started to turn away, but he grabbed my hand, taking it in both of his. "No, please listen to me. You know she brought me into my powers, but I don't think you understand why." The look on his face was serious, troubled, holding the weight of more decades than his youthful appearance implied. I was suddenly reminded that he was nearly a century old, because he _felt_ old in that moment. "You know how my mother is about power. She was determined that her sons become full sirens, whatever that took. And the only way that would happen was through sex with another siren."  
  
I stared at him, mystified, and then had a sudden awful thought. "You don't mean she would have..." I trailed off, not even wanting to finish the thought.  
  
"She did. She used her power to try to seduce me." I stared at him in shocked horror, and he smiled a little, not happily. "I turned her down, and she stopped, but... When the twins started showing signs of power, Father and I were afraid she would do it again with one of them, even though Father threatened to kill her if she did. Maybe she could have even succeeded, but it might have driven him crazy and then he'd have had to be killed too. But your mother has powers like a siren, and if she did it, then we could all come out of it alive and sane."  
  
I struggled to accept what he had just told me. Gods, what a horrendous situation he had found himself in.  
  
He spread his hands imploringly. "What would you have done in that situation, Mara? Please don't punish me for what I had to do to protect my family."  
  
It did seem wrong when put that way, but I couldn't help how I felt. "It's not about punishment, but..." I wasn't even sure how to end the sentence. "I don't have the luxury of a whole lot of sexual hangups, but dear gods, Sampson, that's one I can't just ignore. How can I let you touch me when I can't help wondering if you touched her the same way?"  
  
His handsome face clouded with displeasure. "You want the truth? I don't remember much of it. She gave me the _ardeur_ and I didn't think after that." He looked away, folding his arms and glaring at a spot on the ground. "It's not like we were lovers. I didn't even want to do it."  
  
I had no answer. What could I say to that? I changed tacks. "How does your mother feel about this? Me and Leucothea in close proximity is a recipe for disaster."  
  
"She loves the idea," he said. I gave him a look of flat disbelief. "You're Jean-Claude and Anita's daughter. I don't think she realizes how powerful you are, but she can guess. Your power, combined with mine..." He shook his head with a smile that hinted at his usual tolerant amusement. "Believe me, for that she'll be nice to you."  
  
"You are aware that I'm in love with another man, aren't you? Not to mention that I carry his marks. And even if I weren't, I couldn't take a vow of fidelity to you. There's no way I could ever keep it."  
  
He waved that off. "I know about your needs, and I'd never ask you to be what you're not. Caden can come with you. I mean, would your feelings for him really mean you could never love me?" He took my hands in his, his eyes shining with enthusiasm. "Listen, I talked to Father about it while you were in the hospital. I'm already helping to run his lands. If you marry me, he will give us our own territory at the other end of his, far away from him and Mother. Caden will be Master of the City, I'll run Father's businesses and watch over his lands nearby, and you'll have both of us, plus any other lovers you need. Mara, I'm half siren. My drives aren't as strong as my mother's, but I understand your needs because I have them too. Why should we be hampered by human sexual morality when we could become such a force together?"  
  
I walked slowly to the bench and sat down. If Caden were Master of a City, it meant the Dragon could never take him back. I had promised him he would never be a slave again. Now I had the chance to fulfill that promise... if I married Sampson.   
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
I sat cross-legged on Caden's bed that evening, waiting for the boom to fall.  
  
"Well, aren't you going to say something?" I ventured.  
  
He stood with his back to me as if engrossed in studying the bookshelf. "What can I say, _cariad_? When I agreed to your taking other lovers, I did not imagine this."  
  
"I know," I said worriedly, pulling up my knees in front of me and hugging them. "I thought that if I married anyone, it would be you."  
  
"So did I," he said softly.  
  
We were silent for a while.  
  
"But _cariad_ ," I implored, "You would be Master of a territory, free from the Dragon's control forever. Marrying Sampson is not a terrible fate. I would do things much more frightening than that if it assured that you would be safe."  
  
He bowed his head and said nothing.  
  
"You won't lose me, beloved," I assured him quickly. "Sampson told me he knows what you mean to me, that he would never try to come between us. He will have others to help serve his needs, and I will have you."  
  
"You sound as if you have already made up your mind," he observed, finally turning to look at me and smiling sadly.  
  
I studied the bedspread as if it were far more fascinating than it actually was. "I haven't, really."  
  
"Would you marry him if my freedom were not part of the bargain?" he asked quietly, coming to sit on the edge of the bed.  
  
My shoulders sagged. "My darling Emrys, you know the answer to that. But he's a good man, a friend, and he cares about me. Does it really matter that I marry him as long as you and I will be together? I carry your marks, and that's forever, no one can change it." I crawled across the bed to slide my arms around his shoulders, like a hug from behind. His body was stiff in my embrace.  
  
"Would you take him as a lover, if he offered nothing else?" he asked.  
  
"After he slept with my mother?" I said with dry humor.  
  
He turned, his expression very serious. "If that were not an issue?"  
  
I thought of that kiss in the arboretum, the passion that had flared between us even before his magic entered me, and despite myself, my body reacted to the memory. I moved back a little, letting go of him, feeling guilty and more than a bit slutty for thinking of another man that way while I was holding my lover. I let out my breath in a sigh. I couldn't lie to him, any more than I could lie to myself. "Yes," I whispered miserably.  
  
"Another thing to consider," he added softly, "is that if your mother could bring him into his powers, then perhaps he could fully bring out yours."  
  
I froze, wide-eyed. I had not even thought of that. If Sampson could bring out my succubus powers, then I might not need a lover of Belle Morte's line. And he was so powerful...  
  
I hid my face in my knees. "And it would seal a permanent alliance between Samuel's kiss and ours. No one short of the Council would dare attack us," I mumbled. It was politically advantageous, magically compatible, and I even liked and desired Sampson. So what was wrong with the idea of marrying him?  
  
Everything.  
  
I looked up at Caden. He looked back at me. A moment later he was in my arms and we were kissing as if we might never have another chance. For the rest of that night, we did our best to pretend the world outside his bedroom did not exist, and for a few moments in his arms, I could almost believe it.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
_The next afternoon..._  
  
"Asher's upstairs in the manager's office," Cameron said noncommittally.  
  
"Ah," I said, raising a finger. " _Who_ is upstairs?"   
  
She looked up from her books and gave me a venomous glare. I didn't bat an eyelash. Finally she growled, " _My master_ is upstairs."  
  
"Much better," I said.  
  
"Caden doesn't make you call him Master," she said sulkily.  
  
"I'm a human servant, not a fledgling," I informed her.  
  
She shot me a dirty look. "I can't believe you're making me do this."  
  
"I'm not making you do anything, but if you're going to be a vampire, you're going to have to learn. Once he has brought you over, you won't have any choice about obeying him." A slight exaggeration, but best that she be prepared for worse than she would likely get.  
  
"The Church of Eternal Life wouldn't make me do stupid crap like this. They don't force you to blood oath."  
  
"Blood oath isn't the same as your bond to your master. Besides, you join the Church and you'll have to blood oath to Papa anyway, on top of signing one of their stupid morality clauses."  
  
She frowned. "Morality clauses?"  
  
"Yeeees," I said, drawing the word out with sarcastic emphasis. "I'll give you one sometime, but make sure you're not drinking anything when you read it. _And_ they don't even teach you how to be a proper vampire. If it weren't for Papa and our people stepping in and picking up the slack, we'd have a bunch of inept fledglings running around not knowing what they're capable of."  
  
She tipped her head curiously. "Seriously?" It occurred to me as I looked at her that with her light green eyes, her bright blonde hair trailing over her shoulders, and her pretty features, that she was attractive enough to be one of Belle Morte's line. Would being brought over change her looks?  
  
I nodded. "I'm going there with Papa's delegation next week. Come with us and you'll get an education on the wonderful Church of Eternal Life. Just make sure you don't cut up in front of them, and don't let it go to your head."  
  
"Why would I let it go to my head?" she asked, annoyed.  
  
I gave her a dry look. "Because a lot of those virtuous churchgoers would give their eyeteeth to be where you are. They don't want to be nightshift Mormons, they want to be _vampires_ , proper ones, which is what you're going to be if you play your cards right. They would love to be turned by Papa's people instead of Malcolm, but they don't have a choice."  
  
"Why would they prefer your father?"  
  
"For the same reasons you did. For starters, because Papa is Belle Morte's line. A lot of the fine churchgoers get brought over and discover that being a vampire isn't all they thought it would be. They don't wake up sexy and carefree. For all their high-minded moralizing, most of them would join Papa's kiss in a moment. His vampires are what they thought they would become, what vampires **should** be. Why do you think we're all so hyper about you learning everything you need to know _before_ you get brought over? We don't want you winding up like some of those poor slobs."  
  
She looked thoughtful. I felt my phone vibrate and I walked out of the room, leaving her to her thoughts.  
  
  
  
  
As I hurried to my bedroom, I pulled the phone out of my pocket- not my regular cell phone, but a small, inexpensive disposable whose phone number was only known to one person. I snapped it open. "Give me a minute."  
  
There was silence, but I knew he had heard me. I got to my room and shut and locked the door behind me. "Okay, go."  
  
"I've got news, but it's not good," Peter told me.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I got the results of the police search. They still found no trace of an identity for the killer. The ID, the social security number- it was all fake. Even DNA didn't turn anything up. Turns out she was living in a cheap hostel nearby, so no help there. Nobody, especially someone that young, could erase the records of their existence that completely without help."  
  
I muttered several potent curses.  
  
"Yeah, no kidding," he agreed sardonically. "It gets better. They're not even sure that she set the bomb that got you out of the hotel. They do know that when they went through her possessions, they found a cell phone- a disposable. It had only been used to call one number, but that one many times. When they traced the number, it led to another disposable cell phone. But they couldn't locate the other phone. Someone destroyed it so completely that it couldn't even by traced by the GPS chip. You can't do that just by breaking the phone. It has to be either crushed into powder or burned. They made sure it couldn't be found. And it was done within hours of her death, possibly before it was even on the news.  
  
"It's no longer a question of whether it's a conspiracy. The question is only how big of a conspiracy it is."  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	7. "That will do for a start,"

This time it was my turn to await Sampson in the sitting room. It was the day of Nathan's graduation, and since the ceremony was in the middle of the afternoon, I would probably have gone solo if not for Sampson's fortuitously timed visit. But since he was here, it was only natural to invite him to be my date. Mother was attending also, but I wasn't sure who she was bringing; at least I knew it wasn't Micah, her former daytime date. My mind shied away from comparing Sampson to Micah. I had for most of my life not been sure why, of all my mother's men, I had taken a dislike to Micah except that he had a weakness that ill-accorded an alpha. Everyone was entitled to moments of weakness, but _being_ weak was something an alpha, especially the leader of his or her group, could not afford. Their followers relied on them too much. Plus, I just didn't trust him. Unpleasant, but true. And how very right I had turned out to be.  
  
I smoothed the panels of lace that adorned the front of my white blouse, then folded my hands in the lap of my pale grey suit. Drat Papa and his fussy taste in clothes anyway. Years before, Papa and I had begun clashing on the matter of my wardrobe, and in true vampire style, we had settled it by negotiating; I chose my casual clothes, hence my normal tee shirts and jeans, and Papa chose most of my formal clothes. There was of course, room for compromise on both sides. It worked for us, but I sometimes wondered what it was like to have a father who didn't know more about clothes than I did.  
  
However, I had to admit the blouse looked good contrasted against the suit jacket. I had my locket with Sampson's ring threaded onto the chain tucked underneath the blouse. Gifts from my two men, close to my heart. The symbolism was painful- and accurate. Gods, what was I going to do about Sampson? And what about Caden? I could give him his freedom, but was that what he wanted me to do, if it meant seeing another man's ring on my finger? If only he would tell me how he felt about it, but he would say nothing except that it had to be my decision.  
  
_My two men;_ I was already thinking of Sampson as mine, and that scared me even worse. We had been friends since childhood- my childhood, anyway- calling each other, emailing, texting- scarcely a week had gone by that we didn't contact each other since we became close friends once I reached my teens. But now he wanted so much more. I thought of Sampson the way he had always been with me; sweet, funny, silly, and a dear friend. What would it be like to have him for a husband? _My husband. My lover_. My cheeks warmed at the memory of his kiss in the arboretum.  
  
"I hope you're thinking of me." Sampson was leaning in the doorway, giving me a little teasing smile with a hint of something more in his eyes. He had followed my advice to wear something dressy yet cool in deference to St. Louis's September heat, and he looked summery, relaxed, and very handsome in a beige linen suit with a snowy white shirt open at the collar.  
  
My blush deepened and I looked away from the attractive picture he made. Dammit, I could play it cool about anything except desire. Fine thing for a succubus! He came closer and held out his hands, and I took them and stood. In my heels I was within an inch of his height, and we were so close that only a slight movement from either of us was all it would take to touch our lips.  
  
I laughed a little, discomfited. "And if I am?"  
  
His eyes shone- not magic, just pleasure- his arms circled my waist, and he dipped his head to kiss me gently. It was sweet and unhurried, and it felt wonderful. I slid my arms around him as we kissed. He made a soft, contented 'mm' sound, raised his face and opened his eyes, gazing into mine. Too late, it occurred to me that I shouldn't have encouraged him, but I had done it without thinking. I seemed to be doing a lot of not-thinking when it came to Sampson lately.  
  
This was what truly frightened me- not the physical desire between us, but that I could so easily let myself feel more for him. I had always cared for him because of his kindness, his gentle humor, his intelligence and loyalty, and now... it could so easily be more if I just stopped fighting it. But could I handle more? Could my men?  
  
An unsubtle throat clearing alerted me to Mother standing in the doorway with Nathaniel just behind her. I gave her a slightly chilly sidelong look- I had put up with enough such displays from _her_ in my lifetime, and worse. I gave Sampson a smile and brushed my fingers lightly along his cheek before moving back and sliding my hand around his arm.  
  
"Shall we go, then?" I lifted my eyebrows at my mother.   
  
"We're taking the limo," Mother said bluntly, and she and Nathaniel led the way up the stairs. Sampson and I gave each other wicked smiles that were almost silent laughs, then composed ourselves and followed sedately.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
Once we were in the limousine, riding in mostly-comfortable silence, Sampson turned to me. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"  
  
I glanced at him curiously. "Sure."  
  
"You have accelerated healing, right?" At my nod, he continued, touching a finger to one of my dangling earrings. "Then how do you keep your ears pierced?"  
  
"Silver earrings," I answered.  
  
He frowned. "Doesn't silver burn you?"  
  
"A little, yeah."  
  
He winced sympathetically. "Ouch."  
  
"Women are supposed to suffer for beauty, didn't you know that?" I commented sardonically, giving him an amused look.  
  
"I thought that's what high heels were for?" he answered with mock-innocence, and I laughed and gave him a light swat on the arm.  
  
Mother eyed Sampson coolly. "I don't remember you being this much of a smartass."  
  
Sampson shrugged, smiling good-naturedly. "You didn't appreciate me being a smartass, so I didn't do it around you."  
  
"Mother doesn't appreciate _anyone_ being a smartass," I said dryly, and his smile widened.  
  
"That's not true!" she protested, looking mildly outraged. Sampson and I looked at each other, then looked at her with thinly veiled amusement. Nathaniel stared pointedly out the window, trying to smother a smile and not doing a very good job of it. I wondered which of us was going to crack up first. I wouldn't bet the farm on my own chances of holding out.   
  
I briefly wrestled with temptation, then thought, _Oh, hell_. "I stand corrected. Mother doesn't appreciate anyone _except her_ being a smartass."  
  
"Shut up," she growled. Nathaniel began to shake with silent laughter, and she whapped his arm. Sampson glanced at me, I looked at him, and we began laughing like misbehaving children.  
  
She folded her arms over her chest. "I don't see what's so funny. It's not true."  
  
We just laughed harder.  
  
  
  
"This thing really needs a radio," I commented after a few minutes of silence.  
  
"Ask, and you shall receive." Sampson smiled and shifted in the seat to pull something out of his pocket, then held it out to me.  
  
"Ooh, is this your new mp3 player?" I eagerly plucked the compact bit of technology out of his hand and examined it closely, noting all the controls.  
  
"No," he said, and I glanced up at him, surprised. "It's _your_ new mp3 player. Happy early birthday." He kissed my cheek and grinned at my surprise.  
  
I let out a gasp of delight and inspected it even more intently, delighted with my new toy. "I thought you were only kidding about that!"  
  
"I would never kid about your techno-toys," he laughed. "I took the liberty of loading some songs on it," he added casually as I paged through the menus, reaching over to show me how to open the miniature video screen.  
  
"Why, Mistah Sampson," I said in a bad southern belle accent, "If Ah didn't know better, Ah'd think you were trying to win mah affection with trinkets."  
  
"I wouldn't dare," he protested laughingly.  
  
"Shame," I added in my normal, albeit smartass, voice. "Because with 'trinkets' like this, you'd probably succeed."  
  
"Careful, Ms. Blake," he growled playfully, "who you hand the keys to your heart to. You never know _what_ I might do with them."  
  
"I don't know about the keys to my _heart_..." I drawled without looking up, "The keys to my hormones, perhaps."  
  
"That will do for a start," he said wickedly and pretended to bite my neck, making me squirm and push him away, laughing.  
  
"Get off me, you perv," I ordered, which only made him laugh harder.  
  
When I looked up and met his eyes, his laughter faded into a smile that was warmer, more personal. He slipped his hand into mine and held it for the rest of the ride, and to my surprise, I found I didn't mind a bit.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
Much to my displeasure, my fitted suit did not have a pocket spacious enough for my new toy, so I had to hand it back into Sampson's keeping when we arrived. He got out and offered me a hand to help me out of the car. I made a mental note to mention to him later that that wasn't necessary, but for now I graciously took his hand and managed to step out rather than falling. If an excess of courtly manners was the worst thing he was ever guilty of, I would be lucky indeed.  
  
We took our seats for the ceremony. Though formal, it was blessedly short- much of it was the listing of names of the new police officers and their taking the oath. Afterward we got up to mingle and congratulate the new officers. Mother normally hated stuff like this, but she knew enough of the veteran officers that it was not the onerous duty for her that it might have been otherwise.  
  
On the other hand, I didn't know many people here except Nate and Lt. Zerbrowski. I waved at Nate where he stood with his father near the refreshments table, then went over to talk to them, Sampson staying by my side like a gracious shadow.   
  
I released Sampson's arm to hug my old friend. "Nate, congratulations. Or should I say, Officer Kirkland?" I amended with a smile, and he grinned back. I turned to his father. "Larry, how are you?"  
  
"Fine, and very proud of my son," Larry Kirkland replied, his smile still boyish despite the silver streaks in his red hair.  
  
I smiled, careful not to flash fang. "You have reason to be. Larry, Nate, have you met Sampson?" I placed a hand on Sampson's back. "Sampson, this is Nathan Kirkland, and his father Larry." They smiled politely, though Nathan was studying Sampson with ill-disguised curiosity. No doubt he could feel Sampson's power and was wondering what he was.   
  
"A pleasure," Sampson smiled, shaking Nate's hand. "I believe we have met, but it was some time ago," he told Larry as they shook hands.  
  
"Have we?" Larry blinked, tilting his head at Sampson.  
  
"I spent some time in St. Louis about twenty years ago, as Jean-Claude's guest."  
  
My smile faltered slightly, knowing what he had stayed for. Sampson gave me a sidelong glance, and I quickly smiled back, trying not to let my thoughts show.  
  
"You must have just been a kid, then," Larry said.  
  
Sampson shook his head, smiling. "Not exactly. I'm older than I look."  
  
That made me smile a little more. Talk about an understatement. Though he looked like he hadn't seen the other side of thirty yet, Sampson was actually nearing the century mark. It was odd to think I might be marrying a man who remembered World War II. I shook my head to clear away those thoughts. Bad time to be distracted. But then, when is a good time to be distracted?  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
"Is everything all right?" Sampson asked me quietly as we walked back to the limo after the reception. "You look like you're thinking heavy thoughts."  
  
I gave him a quick smile. "It's fine." He gave me a look, and I glanced away. "I'm just... a little confused, that's all. About a lot of things."  
  
He tried for a neutral look, but didn't quite manage it. "Anything I can help with?"  
  
"Maybe. Let's talk later, okay?"   
  
He nodded, looking away, his face darkening a bit, his eyes dimming. Now he was going to worry all the way back to the Circus, and that wasn't what I wanted at all. I took his hand, weaving my fingers with his, and when he looked at me, I smiled warmly. He smiled back, his eyes regaining some of that shine. I felt a pang of a bittersweet something- things had been so much easier when we had been best friends. What were we now? I wish I knew.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
"It's about the proposal, isn't it?" Sampson asked quietly when we'd gotten back to the Circus and Mother and Nathaniel had walked off.  
  
I pressed my lips together and nodded, looking away. "Do you mind if we talk somewhere privately?"  
  
He nodded, trying to look calm and unconcerned. It would have fooled me if I didn't know him so well, but his expressive hazel eyes didn't get that cold unless he was shielding hard. "Where?"  
  
"There's not really any private places here except the bedrooms," I said with some nervousness.  
  
He nodded absently. "Mine is closer, isn't it?"  
  
I could feel the tension in his arm under my hand as we walked in silence until we got to the guest room. He shut the door behind us while I went to stand by the small table with two chairs set up on one side of the room. He graciously waved a hand toward the chair closest to me, and we sat facing each other over the small table. The tension wasn't helped by the uneasy knowledge that we were two people who wanted each other, alone in a room with a bed. It was a damnably bad time to think about sex, but there it was. He cleared his throat, and I jumped.  
  
"Nice to know I'm not the only one who's nervous," he commented with a halfhearted smile. I didn't know what to say to that. When he spoke again, the tension colored his voice. "Mara, if you're going to turn me down, please just _say it._ "  
  
I looked at him, at his tense frame, his eyes so intent on me. Unable to sit still, I got up from the chair and took several steps away, getting a little distance from that unnerving regard. "I meant what I said- I'm confused. I haven't made up my mind, because I don't know how to handle this."  
  
He closed his eyes and his shoulders relaxed a little.   
  
"Sampson, you have to know I wouldn't just give up my loyalty to my parents and Caden if I marry you. What about what happened in your father's court?"  
  
He shook his head dismissively. "That's over. No one got hurt."  
  
"But it could so easily have gone differently, and what then? Would you have stood back and let Caden kill your father?"  
  
He looked away. "It was a challenge. I couldn't interfere."  
  
"And would that stop your mother?" We both already knew the answer to that one. "If either of them had died- with Leaucothea on one side and me on the other- you and I both know it wouldn't have ended with the challenge."  
  
"You wouldn't have thrown away your people's lives, Mara." He sounded very sure. I wish I were.  
  
"I'm not so sure of that. And even if I had taken my people away that night..." I didn't even need to finish the sentence. "And if Caden won... if someone killed both your parents, would you just accept it gracefully and start packing?" My voice was softer when I said, "I know you, Sampson. You and I are not so different. If someone killed both my parents, then they'd have to kill me too, or grow eyes in the back of their head, vampire rules be damned."  
  
"But none of that happened," he insisted. "And 'could haves' don't matter. What matters is that it's over, peacefully."  
  
I turned away with a sigh. Was I really so cynical to think there was _always_ something else that could come between us? I felt him behind me, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders. "Don't throw away our future on might-have-beens, Mara." He gently turned me to face him, his eyes intent on mine, and moved his hands to my face. There was a moment when I knew I could move away, but I didn't. I just didn't, and then his lips touched mine, softly, tenderly. He stepped close enough that our bodies touched, but it was not sexual, or rather not merely sexual... he kissed me as though he loved me.   
  
"I can't promise nothing will ever go wrong. I couldn't even if we were human," he murmured when he drew back, "But please don't throw away what we could have together."   
  
"If you don't want me," he paused, as if not wanting to say the words, "you only have to say no. We can go back to the way things were. I'll always be your friend. But please don't push me away."  
  
I wanted to believe him, but I knew we couldn't go back to our old friendship if I turned him down. I knew now that he wanted more, and that I wanted him in ways that had little to do with friendship. We would never have that easy camaraderie again, because there would always be the tension of desires spoken but unfulfilled- if I turned him down. But if I didn't... _He slept with your mother!_ a part of my mind protested, but that was starting to feel less like an impediment and more like an excuse.   
  
I didn't want to say no, and that scared the hell out of me. Was it only because I desired him? Or because he was my friend and I didn't want to hurt him? He was nearly a century old; he knew his own heart. But I was only seventeen- what did I know?  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  



	8. "Would you truly refuse me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to di'Taykan, aka Tak, both for coming up with the idea of wereferrets and for letting me use it. When I finally stopped laughing, I knew I had to play with it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
"Hold it in your mouth a little longer, _cariad_. Give me a chance to enjoy it."  
  
I gave Emrys an evil look. "It's bad enough you're making me do this, now you're criticizing my technique, too? It would serve you right if I stopped right now and refused to do it again."  
  
He sat up and gave me a patient look, his head slightly tilted. "Beloved, please. If you do not do this for me, who will?" I looked unconvinced, and he sighed, letting his shoulders drop. "It is such a small thing, and it gives me so much pleasure. Would you truly refuse me?"  
  
I looked at him, at the adorably tousled hair, the wistful, pleading look in his lovely green eyes gazing up at me through thick black lashes, the tiny hint of a smile touching his lips that made me yearn to kiss him, and I know I'd lost the argument before it started. All the coaxing and resistance now was just form, because he knew I couldn't refuse him when he gave me _that look_. The sneaky wretch.  
  
"This is blackmail, I want you to know that. Rank emotional blackmail," I informed him. He lay back on the pillows and closed his eyes with a little half-smile of anticipation, unfazed by my accusation.  
  
I sighed before raising the wineglass to my lips. It was a good thing his eyes were closed so he couldn't see me wrinkle my nose. I took a sip of the vile liquid- how could something of such a pretty color taste so bad?- and held it in my mouth for a few moments. I distracted myself by looking at him, and his expression was one of absolute bliss. It almost made it worth drinking the dratted wine. Okay, it _was_ worth it, but I wasn't about to tell him so.  
  
The things a woman does for love.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
I walked down the hall to Papa Asher's room, troubled and distracted. I needed advice, and he seemed like the best person to talk to. He had always been wise in matters of the heart, and that was what I needed to puzzle out- not the politics, but to make sense of what I was feeling.  
  
I stopped before his door and raised my hand to knock, but a laugh in a very feminine tone made me hesitate. Surely Mother wasn't... no. That wasn't Mother's voice. I didn't have time to puzzle over it, because Asher opened the door, looking a little ruffled. His light blue eyes changed from surprise to concern and he frowned, studying me more closely.  
  
" _Ma couer_? Is something wrong?"  
  
"I just wanted to talk, but if this is a bad time..."  
  
He turned and glanced behind the door, as if there was someone back there. One of the _pommes_ , perhaps? The movement wafted air in my direction, and I caught a hint of familiar perfume.  
  
" _Madeline_?" I gasped unthinkingly, and Papa Asher froze. Madeline and Papa Asher? But that was...  
  
Actually, it made perfect sense. Since before my trip, they had been more and more in each other's company. With Cameron going off to college, Madeline had suddenly been left plenty of free time to date. Asher loved Mother and Papa, but I knew he had always wanted more. Working as the day and night managers of the Circus put Asher and Madeline in frequent contact, and despite their famously spirited clashes, one thing about him that had never bothered Madeline was his scars.  
  
"Anita must not know. Not yet." There was a note of pleading in Papa Asher's voice, in his ice-blue eyes as he watched me. "I will talk to her at the right time, but if she learned of it this way, I do not think she would understand." Of course. He was afraid that Mother would be jealous. I wished his fears were groundless, but I knew they weren't. I looked away and bowed my head, breathing slowly out. I had known for some time that I would have to make a choice like this one day.  
  
"I won't say anything." I looked up at him and smiled slightly. "I hardly think Mother is going to ask me about your love life anyway." There were footsteps, and Madeline came up behind him, putting her hand on his shoulder. She looked up at his face, then at me. "I... um... I should go," I said uncomfortably, and turned to leave.  
  
"No, _chérie_ , do not go." He stepped forward and caught my hand. "I can see you are troubled. Let me help, if I can."  
  
"I'll go," Madeline said, and walked out past Asher. As she passed me, she gave my arm a little affectionate pat. "I hope everything is okay." I gave her a smile, and she smiled back before walking away. His eyes followed her down the hall, then he turned back to me and smiled.  
  
"Come, _ma douce_ , and tell me what troubles you."  
  
I nodded and followed him into the room.  
  
  
  
When I finished, Papa Asher sighed, his light blue eyes shadowed. "I did not think you would face a decision like this so soon. People do not often marry so early in these modern times."  
  
"Our world isn't exactly like human society, though, is it?" I said with wry humor.  
  
"Do you wish to marry Sampson?" he asked, ignoring my attempt at wit.  
  
"I don't know," I sighed, looking at the floor to avoid his eyes.  
  
"That you did not say no is telling in itself," he remarked. "How do you feel about him?"  
  
"I'm not in love with him. At least, I don't think I am."  
  
"That is not what I asked, _chérie_. What do you feel for Sampson?"  
  
I had hunched up my shoulders a little, defensively, and I forced them to relax. "He's one of my best friends, and has been for years. I care about him, very much. I don't know how what happened in Boston affects us, but I don't want to lose him."  
  
"And?" he prompted. "Is that all you feel for him?"  
  
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I don't know. Every time I think about marrying Sampson, I can't help wondering what it will mean for me and Caden." I looked up at Asher. "How did you..." I began, then stopped. Julianna, his lover and human servant who had been killed centuries before, was still a painful subject for him.  
  
"How did I handle having more than one lover?" he finished gently. I nodded. He got a faraway look, thinking. "My situation was very different from yours, _chérie_ , but the best advice I can give you is to try to ensure that all of your lovers know how much you care for them, and that each knows he or she is special to you."  
  
"How do I do that?" I asked, feeling very young and confused. Thinking about my love life had that effect on me a lot lately.  
  
He shrugged, a graceful Gallic motion. "There are many ways, but the best start is to ensure you have special time with each of them. Not simply lovemaking, but being together, taking joy in each other's company." He smiled at me with paternal affection. "You have a loving heart, _ma douce_ , so I do not think that will be difficult for you. You must only be sure you do not stretch yourself too thin trying to be everything all your lovers need."  
  
"And Sampson?" I murmured, curling on my side on the bed and laying my head on his leg as I had when I was small. He began to rub my arm soothingly.  
  
"If you wish my opinion, I believe he is an honorable man and will be good to you. There is already friendship and caring between you as well as desire. It is a good basis for a marriage."  
  
"So I should say yes?" I ventured.  
  
"Only you can make that choice. I am only saying that if you choose to accept him, I believe you can be happy with him as well as Caden."  
  
"But what about him and Mother?" I said unhappily.  
  
I heard him sigh quietly. " _Ma douce_ , would you blame your father or me for whose beds Belle Morte sent us to?"  
  
"No!" I said quickly, then sighed. "I get it. He didn't have a choice."  
  
"But he did, _chérie_. He made a selfless choice to save those he loved." He paused. "Humans use the word _lover_ as if it means nothing more than a sex partner. But sex does not make lovers. Only love makes someone your lover. Sampson was not your mother's lover."  
  
He was right, and I knew it. I should feel comforted, so why was I still so afraid?  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
As I shut the bedroom door behind me, I heard an odd sound- the sound of something with more than two feet running down the hall. No, not feet- paws. I turned to find a furred being that was only as high as my waist, but whose long body was easily half again as long as I was tall. He looked up at me with round eyes in a pointed, fuzzy face with darker fur across the eyes like a mask. I had never seen Davis in his wereform before, and it was worth a long look.  
  
Until I met Davis, I hadn't even known there was such a thing as a wereferret. He was one of the new guards and he was very good at his job. However, when he was off duty he had an amusing tendency to be distracted by shiny things. I had soon learned to take off dangly earrings if I wanted to have any kind of conversation with him.  
  
We stared at each other for a moment, then he hopped sideways into the air. I had to laugh a little, especially when he did it again, adding a little half-twist and a funny clucking noise.  
  
"I can't play now," I told him, and though I couldn't read his face, the look in his eyes was plainly reproachful. "Is it the full moon again already?" I added. He nodded, an odd looking movement for his very nonhuman form. "Crap. I thought that was days away."  
  
He made a noise that was probably a laugh. I wrinkled my nose at him. "Well, I've had stuff on my mind."  
  
He made the noise again, and I shook my head and walked away. I jumped when I felt him nuzzle at what was perilously close to my rear end. If it had been any of the other guys, I might have suspected him of going for a cheap thrill he could blame on his beast. With Davis, I knew better. Even stopped, I felt his tug at my waist, and looked down to see him with my belt in his teeth. My nice, shiny, dangly belt.  
  
"You can't have it, so let go," I informed him. He wrinkled his muzzle at me in a very obviously annoyed look, let go of my belt, and then turned and loped off down the hall.  
  
Full moon at the Circus of the Damned. Welcome to the party.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
_Later that evening..._  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sampson's fork snake out and snag a piece of my sesame chicken. Without looking back, I informed him,  
  
"I saw that."  
  
"Saw what?" He gave me an elaborately innocent look as I turned back to the table. It might have been more effective if he hadn't had a mouthful of chicken.  
  
"Goofball," I snickered.  
  
The server saw my wave and approached.  
  
"May I have a refill?" I requested. She picked up my mostly empty glass of iced tea and glanced at Sampson. "And you, o chicken thief?" I added, and he gave me a mock-wounded look.  
  
"Lies. Malicious lies, I tell you. Yes, please." He handed her his own glass and she walked away looking amused. He speared his last shrimp on his fork and offered it to me. "Allow me to make reparations." I expected him to deposit it on my plate, but he merely held out the fork a little further until I leaned forward and let him feed me the shrimp. He smiled, his hazel eyes sparkling with mischief. "Care to share a dessert?"  
  
"Sure." It was rather nice to eat out with a date who could enjoy his own food. I wouldn't trade my _cariad_ for anyone, but there were still little things that I missed. Now I had the comfort of knowing that I was his human servant, so I could take my Emrys out and introduce him to modern food. Idly I wondered what he would think of sesame chicken. I was looking forward to finding out, even if it meant suffering through glasses of wine as well.  
  
  
  
When Sampson and I left the restaurant later, walking hand-in-hand back to the car, he startled me by stopping short and pulling me abruptly around into his arms, and I just got a glimpse of his wicked grin before he kissed me. Distracted by surprise and the feel of his body against mine, I nearly missed the ominous whistle until the bullet hit the brick wall a bare foot away from us, sending shards of brick against our legs. We froze for a moment until my training kicked in.  
  
"The alley! Go!" I pointed and gave him a small shove in that direction, then began to run. We crouched down in the shadows and I peered around the corner at the empty street. Another shot made me duck back, but I had seen the flash like an afterthought- the shooter was on top of one of the buildings, positioned to see the door of the restaurant. Lying in wait for us. Damn. Perhaps I had underestimated the determination of the anti-hybrid conspiracy.  
  
Sampson wasn't armed, but I was. As I pulled my gun, I heard him speaking quietly but urgently on the phone. Good thinking, but we still had to last long enough for the police to ride to the rescue. I let the breath out of my body and ducked around the corner, firing at the source of the flashes, then jerked back to avoid the return fire. Whoever it was, they were good, but not great. Maybe we could get through this.  
  
"Do you have another gun?" Sampson whispered, and I shook my head.  
  
"Run!" I hissed. He ignored that but wisely fell silent, not distracting me further. I peeked around the corner, but a spate of gunfire sent us both hunching back against the wall. There was a ringing silence, and I ventured another glance and then sent several shots at our assailant.  
  
Then the gun was knocked from my hand, and my right arm fell limply to my side as a wave of dizziness crossed my vision. I fell backward, and barely heard Sampson gasp my name. _Cariad!_ Caden cried out in my mind, and I sent him back reassurance as best I could while in considerable pain. Sampson grabbed me around the waist and dragged me further back from the corner. Stupid me for wearing a sleeveless top so my white arms were so nicely visible in the dark. What price vanity? Then again, getting hit in the gun arm was common since people in a gunfight instinctively aim for the flash of the opponent's gun, so maybe my fashion choices weren't entirely to blame. Nice thought, but hardly useful at the moment.  
  
"How many bullets do you have left?" Sampson whispered. He already had my dropped gun in his hands.  
  
"Five, I think," I whispered back. "Do you know how to us that?"  
  
"I may not be in firefights as often as you, but I can use a gun," he told me, moving silently around me to sight around the corner. Then sirens disturbed the night, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I just hoped the shooter didn't engage the police in a firefight. Having any of St. Louis' finest getting shot on account of me was not appealing. It wouldn't do wonders for our relationship with them, either.  
  
I must have slipped in and out of awareness, because the next thing I knew, someone was kneeling next to me.  
  
"She's been shot," Sampson told the figure. I squinted at the newcomer, able to make out only a vague outline.  
  
"I'll call for an ambulance." The voice was female. How nice, I thought vaguely. We need more female officers. "Any special needs?"  
  
"She's a hybrid," he answered. "It must be silver shot or she would be healing it already."  
  
"I'll let them know. Where was the gunfire was coming from?"  
  
Sampson looked at me. "Help me up," I said, and he stood, lifting me with an arm around my waist. I pointed with my left arm. "That rooftop."  
  
She nodded, "Sit tight, the bus will be here soon," and walked away toward the police cars nearby.  
  
"I can see that loving you will never be boring," Sampson told me softly. I had to smile.  
  
  



	9. "I doubt you have a whole lot of options."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was nearly two hours later, and we were still at the police station. I'd refused a trip to the hospital, and had already had plenty of cause to regret the decision. Hospitals or police stations; there's not a lot to choose between them.  
  
"And you say you don't know why someone would be shooting at you?" the detective in charge asked in a bored tone. I bet he was bored, since it was about the dozenth time he'd asked.  
  
"I'm the daughter of the Master of this City, I'm a well-known hybrid, and I recently pissed off a lot of anti-vamp wingnuts by surviving a murder attempt. Pick one," I said irritably. Pain makes me crabby, and so does patronizing. Both together make me a very snippy conversationalist.  
  
An angry look crossed his face, but whatever he would have said next was derailed by the entrance of Lt. Zerbrowski. I had never been so pleased to see him in my life.  
  
"Thank you, Detective, but RPIT is taking over this case now. Ms. Blake and I need to have a chat." The detective didn't move at first, and Zerbrowski's gaze sharpened. It was impressive how quickly he could switch from cheerful nice guy to no-nonsense Boss Man. "That will be all."  
  
The detective got up and left without another word, leaving the file behind. Zerbrowski sat down and began to examine the file, then said without looking up, "You are going to drive me nuts, you know that?"  
  
"I thought that was Mother's job," I deadpanned.  
  
"Apparently it's a family business. Why didn't you mention that your date was some kind of vampire VIP?"  
  
"He's not a vampire."  
  
Zerbrowski gave me a look, and I desisted my attempt at humor. "I'm not trying to get too personal, Mara, but I saw you and Caden together, and I know love when I see it. Yet now you're out on the town with some Master's son who's fluttering over you like a worried boyfriend, and getting shot at in the process. Is this some political shit that's going to jump up and bite us on the ass?"  
  
I had to smile at Zerbrowski's uniquely apt summation, but the smile quickly faded as I wondered how to answer him. "Sampson has been my friend since I was a child." Zerbrowski's sharp look did not fade, and I sighed. "I didn't think it was relevant."  
  
"The shooter was a vamp," he informed me bluntly.  
  
My mouth fell open, then I shook my head and regained my composure. "But... why?"  
  
"Good question. Unfortunately, he's not answering any questions. Can't say I'm surprised since he's probably looking at a death penalty anyway, but it's damned inconvenient."  
  
I got over my astonishment enough to ask, "Do you have any idea how old he is?"  
  
Zerbrowski was already shaking his head. "He's not talking at all. Our resident witch says he's powerful, but nothing huge."  
  
"Let me talk to him."  
  
"You think you can get him to talk when we can't?"  
  
"If I remind him of some rules of the vampire world, yes."  
  
He looked at me sharply. "We can't allow you to violate his civil rights, Mara."  
  
"I'm not into torture, Lt. Zerbrowski. Stay and watch if you like, but if you want him to talk, I doubt you have a whole lot of options."  
  
His mouth tightened, his eyes lacking their usual amused sparkle, and he nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Sampson got up and strode over as Zerbrowski led me carefully out of the interrogation room. "Mara, are you all right?"  
  
I smiled up at him as I took his hand. "I'll live. You?"  
  
He gave me a dry look. "I'm not the one who's bleeding. Caden is here, by the way." A look crossed his face, and I wondered what had gone on while I was shielding to keep the pain from leaking over on my lover.  
  
"Is he okay?"  
  
"He's fine, but he's not a happy vampire. He's waiting in the squad room." Sampson looked up at Zerbrowski, who nodded.  
  
"Go see your sweetie. We'll come get you in a few minutes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
" _Cariad_?" I thought. Caden looked up and a smile lit up his face when he saw me. He came close, taking my face in his pale, long-fingered hands, and kissed me gently. His hair was tousled the way it got when he had done some fast flying.  
  
"Will you ever stop frightening me?" he chided me, softening it with a fond smile.  
  
"It wasn't exactly my idea to get shot at, you know," I informed him, stepping close to lay my cheek against his. We stood for a few moments, comfortable in our silence. I had missed this in all the turmoil lately, just being close and being in love with him. "I've got to go back," I whispered reluctantly.  
  
"Then allow me to heal you before you go back."  
  
"Can't you come with me?" I asked, smiling tenderly at him, and let him guide me to a chair.  
  
"I seem to have made your police friends nervous," he told me as he knelt next to me. He gave Sampson an amused look; I suspected there was a story there, and resolved to find out later. Caden took my hand and gently extended my arm, but I winced a little anyway. He placed his hand on my arm just between the entrance and exit wounds. He closed his eyes, gathering his magic, and I felt warmth spreading from where his hand rested on my skin. The warmth grew until it was nearly too hot, centering in the injured places, then began to abate. As I watched, the wounds began to close, the skin healing together. It wasn't completely healed, but it was a great improvement.  
  
"Not bad. You ever need a job, we could hire you as a medic," Zerbrowski commented. I'd been so intent on the healing that I hadn't noticed him walk up. Sloppy of me.  
  
Caden smiled slightly, the restrained smile that I had once thought his happiest expression. I was very pleased to know better now. "I am sorry I cannot do better, Mara."  
  
"It's much better, beloved, thank you. He was using silver shot, anyway, or it would have been healing faster." I smiled at him.  
  
"Come on," Zerbrowski continued, putting a hand on Caden's shoulder and the other on Sampson's. "You two can wait in the back while Mara chats with our pal."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
The vampire looked up as I came in and his expression became coldly disdainful. Nice try, but this guy was not old and didn't have the kind of stillness or emotional control of the older ones. He might be able to fool humans, but not me. Lt. Zerbrowski came in behind me and leaned against the wall.  
  
I sat down in the seat across from the strange vampire and smiled. "I assume you know who I am, since you were trying to kill me."  
  
He stared silently.  
  
I got up from my seat and walked slowly around the table, still wearing that patently false smile. "I don't think you realize the seriousness of your situation, my friend. You tried to murder the children of two Masters of the City. What could possibly be worth the price you will pay?"  
  
"Your police have already told me. If I am to die, I gain nothing by answering your questions."  
  
I shook my head slowly, my smile never fading. "They are not "my" police. They serve human law. But we are not human, you and I, are we? We are bound by another law." My voice was oh so sweet and reasonable. "Do you know who Valentina is?"  
  
He said nothing, did not even look at me, but his body became tense as if bracing to run. "I see you do. She has been a member of my father's kiss since before I was born, did you know that?" I dropped my voice confidentially. "I have learned a great deal from her. Shall I show you?" I let the false smile fade, leaving my face cold and pitiless. "You can tell the police, or you can tell me, but I will have the truth from you, one way or another.  
  
"You have one chance to earn yourself some mercy. Take the blood oath, and answer every question the police put to you- or become mine and Valentina's new playmate. Your choice." My hand moved slowly down, moved the hem of my skirt up, and pulled out one of my silver daggers. I rested the flat side of the blade against my cheek. "Which will it be?"  
  
Zerbrowski stepped forward. "I can't let you hurt him, Mara." Either he was playing along, or he actually thought I was going to hurt the guy. I sincerely hoped it was the first.  
  
"It's not for him, Lieutenant," I said sweetly.  
  
"You can't blood-oath me," the vampire sneered. "You are not even a vampire, and your master does not control the city."  
  
How the hell did he know about me being Caden's human servant? I resolved to find out. But first I had to get him answering questions. I turned so my back was to Zerbrowski, and let all my anger and negative feelings wash over me, making my face paler and thinner, my eyes a hot blue glow, my skin like a thin barrier over a bright light.  
  
The vampire stared at me. "You are not a vampire. You cannot do that." His voice was uncertain.  
  
"Do not think for a moment that you know what I can or cannot do," I hissed in a sepuchural whisper. I braced the dagger against my left wrist and waited. "Decide." He was watching me as if I were some ferocious predator that he was afraid would tear him apart before eating him. It was both useful and depressing.  
  
"Blood oath," he whispered.  
  
"Good boy," I murmured back, letting a cool smile curve up one corner of my mouth. I slowly cut a short line down the vein just above my wrist, and blood welled from the wound. I held it up to him, and he took my arm in both hands and lifted it to his lips, never taking his eyes off my face.  
  
As he drank my blood, I said the ceremonial words. "Blood of my blood. Flesh of my flesh." The magic in the room grew, and I heard him draw in a startled breath. I pulled my wrist away and leaned toward him until my face was inches from his. "Breath to breath, my heart to yours." I kissed him, and the power in the room reached critical mass, staggering us both. I distantly heard Zerbrowski cursing.  
  
  
 _"Kill him," a cold voice ordered us. "But be sure that she survives. If she dies, they would only work together to hunt down their children's killers. Kill him, and let her live, so that Samuel will believe it to be Jean-Claude's revenge, and their alliance will be at an end. They may even go to war."_  
  
  
"What the hell did you just do?" Zerbrowski demanded.  
  
I got to my feet, fixing a hot stare on the vampire. "You will answer all the police officers' questions, honestly and fully."  
  
He bowed his head. "Yes, mistress," he whispered.  
  
I swept out of the room without another word, shutting the door behind me. Sampson and Caden waited just outside, and I almost made it to them. I'm not sure which one caught me when I blacked out.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
I woke up in bed, blinking in the light. A hand took mine, and I knew it was Caden's. Someone touched my other hand, then moved up to brush a strand of hair out of my face. My eyes adjusted to the light and I saw Sampson bending over me, with Caden sitting on my other side holding my uninjured hand.  
  
"Hi," I said, trying for casual.  
  
Caden gave me that sardonic half-smile. "I may never let you out of my sight again, _cariad_ , if this is what will happen when I do."  
  
"I, on the other hand, am starting to feel like a jinx," Sampson said with a look of affectionate exasperation, sitting down next to me. "That's twice in a month you've been near me and gotten shot."  
  
"Don't blame me, it's not my idea of fun." I smiled at them amusedly. "You know, when I imagined being in bed with two sexy men at once, this was _not_ what I had in mind."  
  
Caden laughed quietly, while Sampson had a look on his face like he couldn't decide whether to laugh or throttle me. He was distracted from deciding by Papa Asher entering the room. It wasn't until I had to peer past the red curtains that I took conscious notice that I was in my bedroom at the Circus- not a hospital, yay!  
  
" _Ma douce_ , you are awake," he smiled, and came over to kiss my cheek. "Must you keep getting yourself into such danger?"  
  
"Hey, it's not like I volunteer for it!" I protested, then winced when my vision wavered dizzily. "I guess I'm just a trouble magnet." I lay back in the bed. "Wasn't even me they were shooting at, anyway," I added, then mentally kicked myself.  
  
"What?" Sampson said, his look sharpening.  
  
"I'll explain in a sec. Papa Asher, could you call Papa in here?"  
  
"Your father is at Danse Macabre yet, _ma douce_. He would have come to your side, but he was meeting with some of the Coalition leaders tonight, and we thought you would not wish him to abandon important negotiations."  
  
"You're right," I answered, "But this he needs to know. Someone is trying to break up our alliance with Samuel. The attack tonight was intended to kill Sampson and make it look like retaliation for me being hurt in Boston." Sampson and Asher both began to curse quietly but feelingly. Caden merely closed his eyes with a look of dread.  
  
"Who is it?" Asher asked, his ice-blue eyes burning, an ominous sign for whoever caused that look.  
  
"I don't know," I sighed. "I only got the voice when I blood-oathed him. A male, probably a vampire. Have the police said anything?"  
  
"Lt. Zerbrowski told us little, but asked that you call him when you awaken," Caden answered me.  
  
"The police might have more information now, but Papa or Mother should question the shooter just in case," I added tiredly. "Where's my cell phone? And how long have I been out?"  
  
"It has been less than two hours since we took you from the police station," Caden said, as Sampson retrieved my purse. He made to hand it to me, then his eyes flitted to my hurt arm and he hesitated and looked a question at me. At my nod, he opened the purse and took out the phone, opening it before handing it to me. Fortunately I could dial with one hand. It should say something about my life that I have RPIT on speed-dial.  
  
"Zerbrowski," the curt voice answered.  
  
"Did you get anything new from our gun-happy friend?" I asked. He was silent for too long. "Lt. Zerbrowski?"  
  
"Mara, if I find out there's some big-time preternatural shit hitting the fan in my town that you're not telling me about, I am going to have your ass for it. I don't care if you are a teenager," he said finally.  
  
"You probably know as much or more than I do, Lieutenant," I answered with rising anger. "All I know is that someone tried to start a war tonight, and I want to know why."  
  
"So you don't know who's behind it?" he asked in a tone that held room for belief.  
  
"When I blood-oathed that vampire, I caught a memory of someone ordering him to kill Sampson and make it look like my father was responsible. That's it."  
  
Zerbrowski sighed. "I was afraid of that. Unless he's very good at lying, whoever sent him made sure he didn't know much. All we got from him is that he was supposed to kill your pal in time to stop him from marrying you, and hopefully set your fathers at each other's throats in the process." I cursed under my breath in French. My eyes met Sampson's, and I knew he had heard. "Since when are you marrying this Sampson?" Zerbrowski continued.  
  
I sighed. "Nothing has been decided yet."  
  
"How many people knew this was happening?" he asked.  
  
"At my end? Only me, Caden, and my parents, including Papa Asher. It's possible something got overheard, but no one else that I know of." I looked at Sampson.  
  
"I only told my parents. No one else should know, not even my brothers," he said, loud enough for Zerbrowski to hear.  
  
"So unless somebody's got major family problems, you've got an info leak. Is there any other big-time vampire shit going on that I should know about?" Zerbrowski added.  
  
"Not that I know of, Lt. Zerbrowski."  
  
"So what was that bit about your master not controlling the city? He meant your father, right?"  
  
Damn, I'd hoped he hadn't caught that. He was way too good a cop. "No. When I was injured in Boston, Caden gave me his marks. We both still answer to my father, but I am now Caden's human servant."  
  
"And were you planning on mentioning this to me?" he queried, annoyed.  
  
"Would it be important if someone hadn't tried to shoot me?" I riposted.  
  
"It might be," he informed me, sounding displeased. I didn't know how to answer, so I said nothing. Finally he spoke, "So tell me one more thing. I thought only a Master of the City could blood-oath a vamp. So how the hell did you do it?"  
  
"You're partly right. A Master of the City can do it, and so can the Master's human servant, if they have one. Papa theorized a few years ago that since I have the blood of both a Master of the City and his human servant, I might be able to blood-oath vampires for him too. So we tried it with some of the Church of Eternal Life vampires, and it worked."  
  
He was silent for a long time, then said, sounding resigned, "All right. You get some rest, and I'll let you know if we get anything else from our pal."  
  
"Mother will probably want to question him," I pointed out.  
  
"I bet she will. And if you find out anything else, you let me know, got it?"  
  
"I will."  
  
He made a skeptical sort of growl. "Take care of yourself, and try not to get shot again. The paperwork is giving me headaches," he informed me, and hung up. He thought he had headaches? Boy, did he not know the half of it.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
_"Mara, baby!"  
  
I turned to see a swirl of flame-red hair and white skin just before I was pounced with a huge hug. "Julie!"  
  
But as I held her I felt dampness on my face where it touched hers, and when she pulled back her lovely green eyes were dim and there was blood running from the corner of her mouth. My eyes were drawn downward to the huge stain of red soaking her tee shirt, making it cling to her skin. Then I saw where the cloth hung limply as if there were nothing underneath for it to cling to, as if someone had simply scooped out the flesh of her chest over her heart.  
  
"I was your friend, Mara. Why didn't you protect me? We were your people, your responsibility, and you let us die," she said, those dulling green eyes fixed on me. Movement behind her drew my attention. Andre stood there, his light blue dress shirt soaked with blood that ran down to his jeans. On the other side was Lindsay, petite and deathly pale, blood saturating the yellow of her little sundress. All of them stared at me reproachfully.  
  
"Why, Mara?" Andre whispered. "We needed you. Why didn't you fight for us?"  
  
"But I did!" I protested, guilt clenching my heart in my chest. "I did fight for you. I stopped her."  
  
"Too late," Lindsay said in that lilting, childish voice. "Too late to save us."  
  
"No..." I whispered, tears running down my face. "I did my best, I tried..."  
  
"Too late..." one of them whispered, and as I watched they all fell, their eyes lost all light and they stared blindly at the ceiling, dead. I looked down at my hands and saw they were dripping blood, as was the knife that I dropped in horror..._  
  
"No!!" I woke screaming. Emrys lay beside me, cold in death, and I scrambled out of bed. Though normally it didn't bother me when he was 'sleeping', and I knew he would arise in a few hours, I couldn't bear to be so close to his motionless form in that moment. I got into the shower, turning the water on hot as I could stand and letting it run over my body while I shivered. Unfortunately, there are some kinds of cold that hot water can't help.


	10. "Why do that to yourself?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Cameron’s eyebrows rose. "We're going in the limo?" she asked.  
  
"We always take the limo to the Church. It doesn't hurt to remind the nice churchgoers that we work for the boss." I surveyed her. She looked elegant if a little uncomfortable in a dark brown suit with an ivory-gold blouse, her blonde hair pinned up with delicate gold clips. "You look really good."  
  
"I feel ridiculous," she grumbled. "Why do we have to get all dressed up?"  
  
"I don't know what you're complaining about, I've worn a lot worse. Let's see you wear a corset and then you can grouse."  
  
She grumbled and I smiled to myself. Cammie was getting kid-glove treatment compared to what most masters would put her through, but try telling her that.  
  
I stepped into the limo, mentally reviewing the subjects I intended to touch on. If the ignorance of some of the hybrids about vampires startled me, the Church members' was even worse. Malcolm had a lot to answer for, in my opinion.  
  
Cameron got in after me, taking the seat opposite. Caden got in after her and sat next to me. We didn't cuddle or kiss, but he took my hand, brushing his thumb over the back of it, and I smiled.  
  
I cleared my throat and looked at Cameron. "You don't have to do anything on this trip, but if one of them asks you a question, answer it as best you can. If you don't know the answer, send them to me. But don't be a smartass, because they may take you seriously, and whatever you do, don't laugh at any of their questions. It's not their fault they've only been fed bits of what they need to know."  
  
"Yes, Mother," she said in an exaggeratedly patient tone. I wrinkled my nose at her, but she ignored me and looked out the window.  
  
I continued, "And when we get in, if we see Malcolm, take a good look at him, then take my hand and look again."  
  
She turned back to me. "Why?"  
  
"You'll see."  
  
"This your first time doin' the Church run, kid?" Willie asked her. His suit was perilously close to tasteful for Willie McCoy, only a few shades off from the navy blue of my own pantsuit. All that saved it from respectability was that it was also shiny, and his tie was black with orange and red flames across the lower half. Willie picked his own clothes, and his fashion sense was... unique.  
  
"Yeah," Cameron answered. "You?"  
  
"I've been doin' this for years. Made a lot of good friends that way."  
  
"Since when do you need help making friends?" I smiled at Willie, and he winked at me.  
  
"Don't need help, kiddo, just opportunity."  
  
"Everybody loves Willie," I teased him.  
  
"You bet. I'm never gonna be a big badass Master like your sweetie there, so I gotta have somethin' in my back pocket."  
  
"Papa's not going to let anything happen to you, Willie," I said.  
  
He gave me a surprised look, and I glanced at Cameron. He sat back in the seat. "Never hurts to be prepared, kiddo. It's a scary world," he said for her benefit.  
  
The car stopped and Caden got out, then Willie, who turned and gave Cameron a hand out. I had Caden trained out of the habit. I'm perfectly capable of getting out of a car without assistance, even in high heels. I took Caden's arm and we walked in pairs up the sidewalk to the Church, and the door swung open to reveal a slim, brown-haired, very human-looking vampire.  
  
"Avery, how are you?" I held out a hand to him, and he clasped it warmly.  
  
"I'm very well, thank you, Mara. How are you?"  
  
"Fine, thank you. You know Willie and Caden, and this is Cameron MacNamera. She's going to join my father's kiss in a few years. Cameron, this is Avery Seabrook."  
  
He took her hand and bowed slightly. "Miss MacNamera, what a pleasure. You're very fortunate, I'm sure you'll be taught well."  
  
"Thank you, I'm sure I will," she said, looking a bit unnerved by the formality. "Call me Cameron."  
  
"Cameron. And you may call me Avery." He offered her his arm and looked at the rest of us. "Shall we go, then?"  
  
She took his arm and glanced over her shoulder at me with a slightly startled look. I shrugged a little. _Welcome to the way we do things._  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
The group was already assembled in one of the church's conference rooms. Most of the churchgoers watched us with a little trepidation as we came in.  
  
Malcolm was leaning against a table and turned as the door opened. "Miss Blake, what a pleasure to see you again."  
  
"Malcolm, how are you." I suppressed a grimace. I disliked being called "Miss", and I was pretty sure Malcolm knew it. Of course, I was also pretty sure he called me worse when I wasn't around. He had kept quiet about me when I was little, but recently I had started getting some very interesting reports from my "contacts" in the Church. Malcolm didn't like the fact that the "decadent" Jean-Claude was a higher authority than his virtuous self, and Malcolm's dislike extended to all of my father's people. Jealousy is an ugly thing, even among the undead.  
  
"Cameron," I took her hand casually, discreetly sending a thread of power into her. "This is Malcolm, the head of the Church. Malcolm, this is Cameron MacNamera."  
  
"How do you do," she said politely enough.  
  
"How do you do. I'll leave you to it, then," Malcolm said, though his face wasn't quite as cheerful as his voice. Cammie gave me wide eyes when he turned away. Malcolm, Mr. Virtuous himself, used vampire tricks to look handsomer. I had just lent Cammie enough power to see past his little 'disguise'. It was about time she got a taste of what the Church didn't want people knowing.  
  
"Thank you," I said, with a smile as bright and meaningless as his.  
  
The door closed behind him but I did not begin immediately. I glanced at Willie, who was leaning casually against the wall near the door, and after a few moments he gave me a slight nod. Good, at least Malcolm wasn't trying to stick around and listen this time. I turned to the assembly, leaning against the table in the front of the room. I could stay on my feet for hours if needs be, but the church folk tended to be more relaxed if I appeared relaxed. Besides, why have sore feet if you don't have to?  
  
"All right," I began. "I'm glad to see so many people here. For those who haven't been to one of our gatherings before, know that you may ask any questions, no matter how embarrassing, and nobody will laugh at you or go tattling. My father believes it is of paramount importance that you understand exactly what being a vampire entails, and that is why we are here to teach you what you need to know. If there's anything you're not comfortable asking during the meeting, you are welcome to see us afterward, or take a card and call later, okay?"  
  
There were nods all around.  
  
"Good. Some of you already know me, but for those who don't, I am Mara Blake, daughter to Jean-Claude, Master of the City. I'm not a vampire, obviously, but I grew up in my father's court, so I know a fair bit about them." I smiled, making a joke of it. "Many of you know Willie McCoy, a member of my father's kiss for over twenty years."  
  
"How ya doin'," Willie said, dropping into the chair next to me and stretching out his long legs comfortably.  
  
"This is Caden, my father's head of security and a master of over five centuries." Caden stepped forward and bowed slightly. I made a mental note to ask exactly how old he was, although he would probably evade the question again. "Also joining us as part of her training is Cameron MacNamera, who is apprenticed to become a vampire of our kiss." I turned and beckoned her forward. She nodded to the small crowd, obviously a little nervous, then took a chair off to the side.  
  
"Does anyone have any questions before we start?" I looked over the room. The crowd was a mixed one of humans and new vampires, some of whom I had seen before. There was a long silence. Nobody likes to be first.  
  
"Is it..." started a timid-looking blonde woman sitting far off to the side, then stopped, looking scared.  
  
I nodded encouragingly. "Yes, Jenny?"  
  
She blinked, a little too rapidly. I waited patiently. "We heard that the Master gave you to..." her eyes slid to Caden.  
  
I narrowly restrained myself from rolling my eyes. "No more than any father 'gives' his daughter to the man she loves."  
  
"But aren't you his human servant now? Doesn't that make you his slave?" she asked in a rush, shooting a scared look at Caden as if afraid he would jump her. I don't know what his expression was, but I could feel his sardonic amusement through the marks.  
  
Gods help me, what has Malcolm been telling these poor sots? "Human servant doesn't mean slave. In fact, it means just the opposite- human servants gain power from the bond, giving them much more resistance to vampire powers. They're allies, not slaves."  
  
"Humans servants are our most trusted of all." Caden came up to stand beside me, resting his hands on my shoulders. "Only one who offers the greatest loyalty and devotion will do. A master chooses a human servant with the greatest care, for they are bound to us mind and soul for all time, even unto death. Chosen well, they can be the most valuable of allies. The wrong person, or one who is unwilling, could be an enemy never to be escaped."  
  
_Wow_ , I thought. That was the longest speech I had ever heard Caden give at one of these lectures. I turned and looked up at him, and he met my eyes with a tiny hint of a smile.  
  
"But only a master vampire can have a human servant, isn't that right?" piped up a dark-haired teenager in all black from the other side. I glanced at her, briefly surprised, then smiled. People make fun of young Goths, but the teens often take more trouble to learn about vampires than the 'normal' adults do. Young people are also usually better at listening and doing what they're told, especially by someone like me who looks young. Convince them you know what you're talking about, treat them like they're smart enough to understand, and they usually respond.  
  
"That's right, Tabitha," I said warmly, and she smiled a little, pleased. "And not all master vampires, only the more powerful ones."  
  
"So none of us are going to be picking one anytime soon, huh?" asked a middle-aged man in a rumpled suit.  
  
I laughed. "It's very unlikely. Any more questions?" A silent pause. "Then I'll turn it over to Willie. Willie?"  
  
As I sat down, I glanced at Cameron. She was frowning slightly as if deep in thought. Good.  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
"So what did you think of your first Church run?" I asked Cameron when we got back to the Circus.  
  
"It wasn't bad. I see what you mean about them being uneducated, though. I mean, they didn't know stuff that I learned just from being here around your father's vampires. Like that stuff about human servants. I mean, damn, who doesn't know the difference between human servants and Renfields?"  
  
"Actually, a lot of humans don't," I shrugged. "And that's the best ones to catch, isn't it? The poor fools who don't know anything about vampires, so they'll believe anything Malcolm feeds them. That's why we make sure they can call us and get the facts, and why Malcolm does his best to prevent them from doing just that without seeming to openly defy my father."  
  
She snorted. "Bunch of wusses, too. I felt more magic from our bunch in the car than I did from all of them once Malcolm left. Even with that vampire mentor in the room."  
  
I lifted my eyebrows at her. Apparently she had been honing her magic talents, because she was right. Those present had mostly been humans of negligable magic power, and almost all the vampires there were so young they counted their ages in decades rather than centuries. Willie wasn't much older, but he had more power because he was part of Papa's kiss. Caden was of course very powerful, and compared to the Church members even I was a magical heavyweight.  
  
I had long suspected Malcolm of tamping down, or more likely siphoning, his followers' power, keeping them weak and himself stronger. The more fool he. That was another reason he dared not defy my father- not only was Papa far more powerful than Malcolm, but the vampires of Papa's kiss were individually far stronger than Malcolm's people, and better with their vampire abilities. They greatly outnumbered us, but if it came to war, we would flatten them.  
  
"Good. I hope you learned something," I told her archly.  
  
She slanted an irritated look at me. "Yeah, that I was right to come to you guys first instead of the Church."  
  
I gave her the look back, with interest. "No, that those poor sots thought all their problems would be solved when they were brought over. They just didn't find out how wrong they were until it was already too late to change their minds." "If you're trying to say something, spit it out," she snapped impatiently.  
  
I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her. "Fine. I think they're not the only ones who think becoming a vampire will solve all their problems."  
  
"Well, I didn't ask you, did I?" she shot back.  
  
"See ya later," Willie mumbled, and made tracks out of the room. Smart man, Willie. Caden bravely stayed put, bracing for trouble.  
  
"No, you didn't, because if you had, I would have told you how much trouble you could bring down on yourself. But you just don't want to hear it, do you?" I said icily.  
  
She rolled her eyes and sighed exasperatedly. "Oh, don't start about the _ardeur_ , because I know hardly any of Belle's vampires get that. Maybe a dozen out of all the hundreds of vampires of her line. I'll risk those odds."  
  
"Try two dozen, and there are other problems besides the _ardeur_!" I angrily corrected her.  
  
"Oh, give me a break. You bellyache because you have to have more than one lover. You could probably have any man you want, and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you because you're hornier than human women? Cry me a river," she said with bitter sarcasm.  
  
My rising anger was washed away in a cold flood of rage, and I smiled. It was not a nice smile.  
  
Caden felt it, and stepped forward, raising a hand toward me. "Mara, don't!" I didn't even hear him.  
  
"Horny, huh?" I purred dangerously. "You think that's the extent of my problems? Well, let's see how you like a taste of that _horniness_!" I was suddenly just there, standing in front of her, and she instinctively flinched back. I had moved almost too fast for her to see. Caden stepped closer, seeming torn about interceding, but I simply thrust a hand at her, palm up. She stared at the hand as if it were a viper poised to strike. "Well?" I demanded. "You think vampire magic is no big deal, then a little taste of it should be no problem, right? Or are you all talk after all?"  
  
"Oh sure, you'd love to prove that weak little Cammie can't hack it, wouldn't you?" she snapped, then stood up and grabbed my hand.  
  
I summoned up the simmering, frustrated hunger that had been rising in me for weeks, hunger which was only partially sated by my lovemaking with Caden. I took that need and fed it into her, and she gasped, her light green eyes widened, and her heart sped up so fast I could hear it beating. She yanked at my hand, but I grabbed her shoulder. There was no telling what she might do with that hunger riding her. She struggled against my hands, but I smelled her lust in the air and held her, knowing what she wanted to do and belatedly realizing the magnitude of what I had just done. My rage drained away, I breathed in slowly and called that magic back into me, drawing the need out of her body until she was left panting, weakened but no longer in the grip of that terrible hunger. She went limp in my hands, and I let her down carefully until she knelt on the floor, shaking.  
  
"I'm sorry," I whispered, consumed with guilt. "I had no right to do that."  
  
She didn't seem to hear me. She looked up, her eyes frightened. "I didn't know," she whispered, and looked back down at the floor. "It was like... like starving when you're surrounded by food." She shivered suddenly, hard. "I thought you were exaggerating, making a big deal out of nothing. But it was awful." She got to her feet, still a bit unsteady, then sat on the sofa. "Is that how you feel all the time?"  
  
I looked away, unable to bear the horror in her eyes. "Only recently, since Boston. Caden can't feed me the way he used to. It's draining us both for me not to be with anyone else."  
  
Even as I spoke, a wave of exhaustion came over me, and I just managed to sit on the sofa instead of falling onto it, keeping a distance from Cammie. It was like the weeks when Emrys had been distracted by his grief. It was slower this time, but one session of lovemaking with my beloved wouldn't end this, only delay it. And I was weakening both of us. Papa had told me that Caden was taking more blood than he used to. He had said it with no accusation in his voice, only matter of fact, but I understood. Letting go of that hunger even for a short time had felt good- too good- and taking it back was so much harder than it had felt before, as if I'd picked a backpack up again and only just realized how much weight had been added to it bit by bit while it was still on my shoulders.  
  
"Why, Cammie?" I asked quietly. "This isn't like you, this... jealousy. You've never been so self-conscious about your looks. If it was being near me that was so hard, why come back? You had college, all those friends, all those guys who never even met me. You could have left me behind." I didn't add that it was what I had expected her to do. It was safer, and better for her, I had told myself. Not that that made it hurt much less. "Why do that to yourself?"  
  
"They didn't understand," she said in a near-whisper. "Those people at school. When they found up I grew up around vampires, they asked all kinds of questions until I felt like some kind of freak. But it wasn't just that. I mean, they stopped after a while. But that weekend, when I found out you had fallen off that building- that you had nearly died to stop a killer- then I knew you would have done the same for me. You knew what could happen, and you did it anyway, just like Caden knew he could die when he tried to save you. And I'd have done it for you, Mara. I knew when I heard that I would have jumped off that roof if it would bring you back." She buried her face in her hands and wept, and I fought back my own tears as I put my arm around her, and she turned and cried into my shoulder while I held her.  
  
"Oh, Cammie..." I whispered, my throat tight as I tried not to cry too, but tears still ran down my face.  
  
She continued without lifting her face, her voice muffled by my suit jacket. "I couldn't even tell them, because they wouldn't understand. They never had to understand how to love like that. And I can't be without it. I can't settle for that shallow idea of love when I know how much more it can be." She sniffled, and I pulled a handkerchief from my pocket and pressed it into her hand. She sat up a little, hiding her face in the handkerchief. "None of them could give me that. None of them would ever look at me the way Caden looks at you, the way you look at him. They don't know how." She took a sudden deep breath, and added softly, "I just want someone to look at me like that." Then she turned and wrapped her arms around me again.  
  
Caden knelt near us and his eyes met mine. He took off one of his leather gloves and slowly, almost hesitantly, reached out and touched Cameron's hair, then smoothed it down. She turned her face just enough to see him, then took his hand and held it. The look on his face made me wonder how long it had been since someone other than me had simply held his hand for comfort.  
  
I didn't know what to say. Cammie understood so much more than I had realized, and I had known far less that I thought I did. I wanted to help her, but what could I do?  
  
All I knew was what I couldn't do- I couldn't stand in her way anymore.  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
"Oh, _shit_ ," I said with great feeling.  
  
I stared at the computer screen, stunned. I had logged on to vampwatchers.com to amuse myself with the humans' gossip about vampires- gossip which was usually inaccurate and frequently hilarious. This, however, was not funny at all.  
  
_**Royal wedding?**  
  
Only weeks after a certain valiant vampire princess was injured here in Boston, our own eldest vampire prince has gone to visit her in St. Louis- taking with him a hastily commissioned, custom-made diamond and sapphire ring. Is it merely a gift for the sapphire-eyed princess, or is there a royal wedding in the works? Stay tuned to find out!_  
  
It was dated a week before. I hit speed-dial on my phone.  
  
"Lt. Zerbrowski? It's Mara. I've got bad news. Our information leak is a _lot_ bigger than we thought."  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming next week: The rating goes up to NC-17, and just wait until you find out why!


	11. "Let go..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Please note the rating has gone up to "Mature". *eg*

  
  
  
_The next day..._  
  
My phone went off, making me jump. I fumbled for it. "Hello?" I asked, managing to sound only slightly startled.  
  
"Mara? It's Madeline. There's somebody here who wants to talk to you. I asked him what it's about, but he says it's personal."  
  
Huh? Madeline MacNamera, Cameron's mother, had lived at the Circus for ten years and been the daytime manager for even longer. Who on earth would be visiting me that she didn't already know? Crap... was it Peter? Did he find out something too dangerous to risk the phone?  
  
"Did he give you a name?"  
  
"Yes, he says his name is Giovanni Stregos."  
  
The last name meant nothing to me, but I only knew one Giovanni. For a moment my lungs forgot to work entirely, just as my brain went into overdrive, yet all I could think was _Is it him? Omigodsomigods what could **he** be doing here_?  
  
"Mara?"  
  
I cleared my throat. "Yes?"  
  
"Should I have him escorted out?"  
  
Good question. Wait, did I even know it was him? "Give him the phone, would you?"  
  
The next voice on the line was the satin-smooth, sensuously accented voice that I knew well. "Hello, Mara. I would like to speak with you, but it seems your protectors do not believe I know you."  
  
I swallowed a sudden dryness in my throat. "What is this about, Giovanni?"  
  
"Might we not speak face to face?" he asked reasonably.  
  
Oooh, what a bad idea. "All right. Give the phone to Madeline, please."  
  
"As you wish."  
  
"Mara?" her tone was mildly worried.  
  
"Please have someone escort him down to the sitting room."  
  
I could almost see her frowning at him, unimpressed by his winning smile. No doubt her maternal radar had pinged _this is not a good boy_ from her first glimpse of him. "Are you sure?"  
  
No. "Quite sure. Please have him brought to the sitting room. Thank you, Ms. MacNamera."  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
I walked into the sitting room to find Giovanni standing with one hand on the mantle, staring at the glass-cased fan that shielded the empty fireplace. He had his back to me, and despite myself I paused to admire the way his flawlessly tailored black suit fit the slender sensuality of his body.  
  
"You wanted to talk?" I said, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. I could be plenty pissed off at him when he wasn't around, but seeing him in the flesh made my breath catch and my body feel warm with memories of his touch. I had known that love could make you physically need someone even more after you had made love with them, but I had never suspected that mere desire could be much more powerful once you had gotten a taste of the person you craved. And me Belle Morte's line, how shocking.  
  
He turned and fixed his lovely eyes on me. Strangely, it cleared my head because now I knew those deep brown eyes were a lie. He bowed, the image of courtly graciousness. "Yes. I have done a great deal of thinking about our last meeting and I must offer you my apologies for my behavior. It was... churlish. I assure you that such behavior is not customary for me."  
  
If his appearance was unexpected, that was even moreso. I paused long enough to take a breath and think. "You came all the way to St. Louis to say that?"  
  
He gave me that charming smile. "Much as I would like to say I had traveled far to make up for offending a lady- my dear Mara, I live in St. Louis."  
  
Of course he did. "Oh, I should have guessed you live near the faerie mounds." His smile faltered for a moment. Uh oh, I guess I hit a sore spot. Open mouth, insert foot. "Um, shall we sit?" I said hastily, waving toward the seats, and sat on one end of the couch.  
  
"Yes, thank you." He took the other end of the white-and-gilt couch, facing me, resting his arm along the back. Not quite touching me, but close enough that I was aware of it, of him. As if I was likely to forget. I turned to face him, studying him. He lifted his eyebrows slightly, a friendly yet challenging look. He was gorgeous, but it wasn't really him, was it?  
  
He tilted his head. "You seem troubled."  
  
I glanced away. "Forgive me for being very blunt, but there's something I really need to know." He inclined his head in agreement. I looked to the guards. "Would you leave us, please?"  
  
One of them protested, "We don't know this guy."  
  
" _I_ know him. If he hadn't helped me, I'd probably still be in a hospital bed in Boston with a hole through my side. I think I'm safe having a private chat with him." They glanced at each other, and then left the room. It crossed my mind that the guards listened to me a lot more than they used to. Interesting.  
  
I turned back to my companion. "You still think I'm a bigot, don't you? You still think I turned you down because you're sidhe."  
  
He blinked, but recovered quickly. "Now, _bella_ , why would I think such a thing?"  
  
Nice try. I stared at him steadily. "You didn't say no."  
  
The charming smile began to fade. "What do you want of me?"  
  
"Honesty."  
  
He lifted an eyebrow. "Do you think I have not been honest with you?"  
  
I let out a breath that was almost a laugh. "I think you do courtspeak like a pro. Never giving offense, never outright lying, but not necessarily being entirely truthful either."  
  
He stared at me wordlessly. Had I managed to surprise him?  
  
"Do you still want to be my lover?" I asked quietly.  
  
He looked amused. "I would think one raised among vampires would be more subtle."  
  
"About other things, I can be, but about potentially taking someone to my bed, I want no misunderstandings."  
  
"Then you are considering me." His voice was calm, giving nothing away.  
  
I wanted honesty, so I owed it to him, too, even if it did make me want to squirm. A lot. "Yes, assuming I can do so without becoming an addict."  
  
His expression was relaxed, slightly amused, but I knew blank face when I saw it. "Then yes, I do."  
  
I nodded, doing my best to appear calm. "I'm not asking for promises or commitments, but I do need honesty if this is going to work. And right now even the way you look isn't real. Why don't you drop your glamour and let me see who I'm talking to?"  
  
He lifted an eyebrow, smiling slightly as if I'd said something cute and amusing. "You want to see me as I am? Very well, then." He closed his eyes and his skin began to shine, a soft gold sunlit glow. Any strong emotion could make a sidhe glow: desire was one of them, anger another. He opened his eyes again, and I forgot to breathe. They were tricolor, the deep chocolate liqueur color on the outside edge of the iris, a softer, medium brown around the pupil, and between them a molten gold that seemed to radiate heat and desire. Sidhe eyes. His power flooded over me, not attacking, not intrusive, but overwhelming nonetheless. I'd forgotten what it felt like: the life, the elemental nature of his magic, but oh, I remembered now, and it was so much more than I had known. He had been right about one thing- he had restrained his magic the last time. I was only just realizing how much.  
  
I took a shaky breath. "Gods, and you think I can stand up to your power without becoming an addict?"  
  
"Now, why don't you return the favor?" he asked in an intimate tone, giving me the full effect of those eyes.  
  
"I don't have any glamour." It was true, but damned if it didn't feel like a lie.  
  
"Honesty, Mara," he chided in that seductive tone. "You may not be hiding your face, but you are hiding your power. Let us both be candid with each other."  
  
I stared at him for a long moment, my heart pounding. He was powerful enough to face my magic without being permanently affected, but unleashing my magic was still scary, not to mention unnervingly evocative of baring other things. I closed my eyes and slowly dropped my shields, feeling my vampire allurement radiate out from my body to form a glow of magic around me.  
  
"Much better," he said, and I opened my eyes. There was no mistaking the heat in his eyes now.  
  
"You still haven't answered my question." My voice was oddly breathy. "What makes you think I can face your power without becoming addicted?"  
  
"I know you can," he told me. "I have since I tasted your magic. Even stunted as they are, your powers are enough to protect you."  
  
"Stunted?" I asked, not sure whether to be offended, skeptical, or just surprised.  
  
"Yes. They have been brought out, but not entirely." He met my eyes, straightforward and intent. "You have the capacity to be much more powerful than you know. I can help with that."  
  
"You're..." I cleared my throat. "You're Belle Morte's line."  
  
"Yes, as well as Seelie sidhe, which means that I am also powerful enough to feel your full power without being enslaved to it."  
  
"I'm sure you could stand up to my power, but me..."  
  
"You have my word of honor that you can. If you truly want honesty, then I will tell you," he leaned forward and dropped his voice to barely above a whisper, "that is part of the reason that I want you. Not only to feel you and your magic -though that is tempting enough-" he smiled, "but because with you I can fully release my power in safety. You are one of very few women of whom that is true, outside the sidhe. You know I cannot lie."  
  
"Safety," I repeated, with a very skeptical look. "You are the _least_ safe person I know, Giovanni."  
  
He smiled patiently. "There is a reason the sidhe do not lie outright, Mara. Shade the truth, perhaps, or leave things unsaid, but never outright lie, or break our word. There are consequences for us far beyond the displeasure of the one lied to." He leaned closer, the pleasant, amused look becoming much more intent, his voice low and persuasive. "We are the same, you and I; life and death and the essence of desire all in one body, too much for any other creature to bear. What could make more sense than for us to be lovers?"  
  
If this was all an act, then damn, it was a good one. He moved nearer, his eyes holding mine, and slid his hand into my hair. He was going to kiss me. My heart sped up to a frightening rate, but I was still, frozen like a bird watching the cat creep closer. So dangerous, but oh, how pretty. His lips tasted like honey and summer sun, his skin was so warm and his power caressed my body. He made a low sound in his throat, desire shot through me, and I ceased thinking about anything but him.  
  
"Mara. _Mara_!" I heard a voice and though I desperately wanted to ignore it, I pulled away from Giovanni. I was practically in his lap, his arms tightly around my body and mine around his neck. When had that happened? I looked away from his face to find who had spoken.  
  
Verity, one of the new guards, was standing just inside the door. "I don't think you want to do this here, do you?" she asked.  
  
Giovanni released me, letting me move away. "Forgive me," he murmured, sounding a bit out of breath himself. Nice to know it wasn't just me.  
  
My head had cleared a little, and my face flamed at the thought of what I had nearly done. "You're right, I don't. Thank you, Verity," I said with a credible attempt at dignity.  
  
She nodded. "You want me to stay in here?"  
  
"No, thank you." I gave her a smile and a nod of thanks. "I'll be fine." She gave Giovanni a dubious look, but walked out without another word.  
  
I looked down at my hands in my lap, taking deep breaths, my mind racing. I needed a lover of Belle Morte's line, someone powerful and able to survive in my world. _And don't forget somebody you want to get naked with_ , my mind added. He was right, he was what I needed. But he was dangerous, so very dangerous. And gods help me, I wanted that too.  
  
I turned to Giovanni, covering my embarrassment with a sly smile. "So, your place or mine?"  
  
He blinked. "Now?" I think I'd really startled him.  
  
My smile didn't fade, and I let my eyes sparkle wickedly. It was about time he learned he wasn't the only dangerous one. "Unless you have other plans."  
  
He started to smile, a sexy, slightly nefarious look that promised a very good time involving things you wouldn't discuss in polite company. The perfect seducer's smile. "No. I don't."  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
We chose his place. It actually had privacy, something that was in short supply at the Circus. When I pulled into his driveway, I was mildly impressed. The neighborhood was obviously fairly new, but very nice. I noted approvingly that they had left plenty of trees standing nearby. It always irritates me to see trees mowed down by the acre to clear for building.  
  
I realized that outside the car Giovanni was waiting at the foot of the staircase, keys in hand. Time to stop stalling. I got out and walked toward him.  
  
When we got into his house, he became the gracious host, showing me the view of the woods behind the house and offering me a drink. I stared out the window, wondering if I was doing the right thing.  
  
"Mara?"  
  
I realized he'd been speaking to me, and focused on him. "I'm sorry, yes?"  
  
"What would you like to drink?"  
  
"Water, with ice, please."  
  
When he came to my side and gave me the glass, I took a sip. It helped.  
  
"We don't have to do this now," he said quietly. I looked up at him, and something in his eyes told me it had cost him to make that offer. Strange, surely a man like him didn't lack for company. Oh well. Something told me Giovanni was going to puzzle me a lot in the future.  
  
"No, now is fine," I said softly and he sighed a little. Relief? I looked up at Giovanni. "Shall we?"  
  
He nodded once, lowering his eyes, and walked out of the room without looking to see if I followed. Maybe in a way he distrusted himself as much as I distrusted myself.  
  
  
  
When I came into the bedroom, he was taking off his jacket. He tossed it across the back of a chair and turned to face me. I turned away, put the glass down on the nightstand, then pulled my gun from its inner-pants holster and slipped it under the edge of the bed. Suddenly all I could think about was that I was alone and about to have sex with Giovanni, a man I had wanted since before I even knew what I craved from him.  
  
He walked toward me, and I closed my eyes. I felt him come up behind me, his arms sliding around my waist, close but not pressing against me too much, not threatening. He was being careful of me.  
  
I turned in his arms and kissed him, and the moment I tasted him my fear vanished in a rush of desire. He made a sound in his throat and pulled me to him. Engrossed in the kiss and the feel of his body, I barely noticed when he picked me up until he lowered me onto the bed, his body tight against mine, my legs wrapped around his hips, his hardness pressed to me.  
  
He broke away from the kiss and pushed himself up off me. "No, Consort take it, I have better control than this!" he said harshly, more to himself than me. I took deep breaths in a futile attempt to calm myself. He stood looking down at me as he began to unbutton his shirt with slow, purposeful hands. I watched, my fingers digging into the covers to keep from touching him, but every inch of skin he revealed made it more difficult.  
  
He pulled the shirt out of his pants and tossed it aside then came to me again, leaning over me but not putting his weight on me, moving sinuously up my body. I released my nervous grip on the bedclothes to touch his already-glowing skin. My own skin was glowing too, my hand like pale starlight against the soft golden daylight glow of him.  
  
"Look," I whispered, fascinated.  
  
His breathing was unsteady as he glanced down at my hand on him, then clasped it in his own, pressing my hand to his chest. "As it should be."  
  
He stood and I got up on my knees on the bed, facing him. I laid my other hand on his bare chest and his eyes closed, his breath sighing out from his lips. He was slim but not skinny, his body nicely muscled. I stroked his skin then leaned forward to press a kiss to his shoulder.  
  
"I want to see you," he murmured, moving back. "Please."  
  
He watched, rapt, as I pulled my shirt off and tossed it aside. He knelt on the bed, tracing his hands up my bare waist, and placed a kiss on the swell of one bosom. He nuzzled there, making me bite my lip, then his tongue darted out to touch my skin and I made a sound that was something between a gasp and an " _Oh_!"  
  
"Mara," he whispered against my skin. My hands rested on his shoulders, caressing him, then I ran my fingers through those silken curls as I'd longed to do for so long. He sent a surge of his magic over my skin, and I shuddered hard. "You're holding back," he said, low. "Don't hold back with me, Mara, don't ever hold back."  
  
Slowly, my heart pounding in renewed fear, I lowered my shields and his power flooded into me, my own power rushing outward to meet and mix with his as if our magics were mating. I knew now that my desire before had been purely my own, for now I felt his power increase it until I ached for him to touch me. I was in such deep trouble, but I couldn't even make myself care.  
  
His hands slid upward to cup my breasts. " _Yes_ ," I hissed. I slid off the bed to stand next to him, quickly undid my belt and tossed it aside, then more slowly undid my jeans. I reached back to unfasten the holster from my waist and dropped that to the floor. I raised my eyes to his, and never breaking the eye contact, I slowly slid the jeans down my legs and stepped out of them, leaving me in nothing but my sapphire blue satin bra and panties. His gaze swept over me from top to bottom then back up. His tongue darted out to moisten his lips, and I gave in to the urge to kiss those lips, running my hands from his shoulders down his arms. I pressed a kiss to his neck, then trailed my lips down until I had to kneel to reach one nipple. He sighed with pleasure as my tongue circled the sensitive spot, and his hand came up behind my head, his fingers tangling in my hair as I moved over to give equal attention to its partner. I could feel his body shaking under my hands.  
  
He caught me by the shoulders and pulled me to my feet, kissing me as if trying to drink me down. I quickly unfastened his belt and pants and pushed them down. He moved back to slip them off.  
  
"Wait," I said, holding up a hand before he could step forward again, and he frowned. "I want to look at you," I added softly. His frown smoothed, and a small smile touched his lips. My gaze moved down his body from the width of his shoulders down the planes of his chest to the slim waist and his hips, where his last scrap of clothing, green silk briefs, just held him contained. His legs were long with just enough muscle. From head to toe, he was perfectly proportioned and undeniably masculine. More than that- he was beautiful, like a sculptor's vision of graceful masculine perfection, with life and magic breathed into him by some divine power.  
  
"Enjoying the view?" he asked, his voice far less flippant than his words. He held out his hands to me, and I was momentarily distracted by the long-fingered grace of them.  
  
I placed my hands in his. "Oh yes," I murmured as he drew me close. I slid a hand behind his neck and kissed him with all the pent up passion of years of frustrated desire, passion that he eagerly reciprocated. He maneuvered me backward onto the bed, his body across mine, then pushed down the straps of my bra and began to suckle my breasts, his hands cupping them. Heat and magic spread through my body from every place he touched.  
  
"Giovanni..." I moaned. I scratched my nails lightly across his back and he shivered. He pushed himself up and kissed me, and I felt his hand hook into the sides of my panties and pull them down my hips. He moved back to pull them off then stood looking at me, drinking me in.  
  
"Enjoying the view?" I laughed unsteadily. He met my eyes with a look that made my smile fade and my heart pound even harder in my chest.  
  
"You have no idea." He moved forward, one knee nudging mine apart and resting on the bed between them, and held himself on hands and knees above me, kissing and nipping at my neck. Maybe it's being part vampire myself, or having a vampire lover, but I am very aroused by the feel of a lover's teeth on my neck. I gasped, clasping his upper arms, and he continued, then he began moving down my body; he laid a gentle kiss on my collarbone, attentively paid court to each of my breasts, and moved downward again. His hands stroked over my skin, lightly massaging, not neglecting an inch that he could reach, as if he were memorizing me with his hands. I flinched as his lips brushed my lower belly, my body wanting it and yet so flushed with need that I wasn't sure I could take much more and still keep control. His hands danced down my legs and he gazed at me up the length of my body, his eyes full of heat and desire as they met mine. He smiled a dark, knowing smile, and deliberately placed another kiss just a little lower.  
  
"Oh no, _bella_ , don't move away," he murmured against my skin. "I'm going to make sure you never want to leave my bed."  
  
"Giovanni, please..." Even I wasn't sure what I was asking him for.  
  
His tongue flicked across me, my entire body shuddered hard and I bit back a moan, panting for breath.  
  
"Go on," he told me, sliding his hands up from my thighs to my waist. "I'll bring you back." He took hold of my hips and resumed his place between my thighs. I sank my nails into the covers, my legs shaking, my body tense as a bowstring, riding the edge of pleasure as he caressed and teased me with his tongue. He took his time, bringing me close to climax several times and then slowing down until I was nearly incoherent with pleasure and frustration. Then heat washed over me, my climax hit like a jolt of electricity, and I choked off a scream. He held my hips tightly as I shuddered and writhed.  
  
"Oh gods, Giovanni, gods..." I gasped fervently. When I could finally open my eyes, I looked down my body at him. He was sitting back on his heels, eyes closed, letting our combined magic wash over and through him, soaking it in. His hands were relaxed on my hips, caressing my skin, and he opened languorous eyes to smile at me.  
  
"Too much?" he asked softly.  
  
I laughed breathlessly. "Almost." I lay back and continued to laugh softly, sensually, the way a woman laughs when she has been well and thoroughly pleasured and just has to express it because it feels _so goddamn good_. I felt him shiver against me, and a thought sobered me. "But you..."  
  
"Don't worry for me, _bella_ ," he said. He stood and crawled onto the bed over me, then kissed me lightly. "I said I would bring you back, and I will." He kissed me again, first softly, then with rising passion. His magic coursed through me, and I wrapped my arms around him and returned the kiss eagerly, the post-orgasmic languor rapidly turning into something much hotter and more active. He broke away and nuzzled my neck, then nipped just a little, letting me feel his teeth but not quite letting it hurt. He stroked one hand down my body, and I arched like a cat into his caress. He slid a finger into me, making me gasp. Testing if I was ready for him. Oh dear gods, I was so beyond ready for him.  
  
"Oh yes," he smiled. He knelt beside me on the bed and picked me up, laying me down with my head on the pillows. I kept my hand on his shoulder, not wanting him to move away. He lay down next to me, using one hand to strip his briefs down then toss them aside. I touched his hard length, and he caught his breath. I wrapped my hand around him and he steadied his breathing with a visible effort, then lay back so abruptly that he almost fell to the mattress. I leaned over to kiss him and began a slow stroke.  
  
"You'll finish me," he protested breathlessly.  
  
"Turnabout's fair play, lover," I murmured, smoothing my hand up his body. He opened his eyes and gazed into mine, turning his head to look me full in the face. I gave him a wicked little smile of my own, trailing my fingertips lightly across his silken skin. I was almost sidetracked in exploring his chest, but no- we were both fevered for more, faster. There would time later for me to fully appreciate every inch of him.  
  
"So it is," he laughed softly. He slid his arm under my body and I shifted to allow him to put his arm around me and cuddle me closer. I leaned over to press gentle kisses to his neck, and his other hand came up to rest on my upper arm as I resumed a slow stroke, up and down.  
  
"Tell me to stop and I will," I whispered. He shook his head, closing his eyes.  
  
I nipped him gently and kissed the spot, then lifted my head to kiss him unhurriedly. He deepened the kiss and I gradually increased the speed of my hand on him. He made a sound in his throat, his hand tightened on my arm, and his mouth fed at mine with increased ardor. I kept my rhythm steady and began to brush my thumb along the tip of him. He gasped, then sighed against my lips. "Yes..."  
  
I gave him one more quick kiss and a mischievous smile, then began to kiss my way down his body. Unfortunately, the combination of fangs and a small mouth made some things impossible, or at least very hazardous; but not for nothing am I a studious woman, and I had learned ways to compensate. I opened my hand so he rested in my palm, then flicked my tongue over him, quick flicks from base to tip. He caught his breath, his body tensing, and moaned when I gave him one long lick.  
  
"No," he hissed suddenly, and drew me up to him. I blinked at him, startled. "I want to be inside you this first time," he whispered urgently, his eyes burning into mine. "Please say yes."  
  
Gee, let me think about that. "Yes."  
  
He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, then opened his bedside drawer and took out a condom. I lay back, watching him. When he had it in place, he turned, nudging my legs apart, and I reached for him to guide him closer. He knelt between my legs, and his eyes, his face, were full of a fierce need that startled me and made my chest tighten.  
  
Then he slid into me and I bit my lip, making a soft sound as the sensation of it sent tingling pleasure through my entire body. Running my hands down his back, I could feel that he was fighting to keep control of himself. He worked himself in to the hilt and stopped with a groan as I shuddered. It felt like the completion of something long expected, yet so new. "Mara," he whispered. "Oh, Mara." And I knew what he wanted- no, what he needed. He had waited so long...  
  
"Giovanni," I murmured, and those breathtaking tricolor eyes met mine. "Let go." He looked at me uncomprehendingly. "I'm ready," I told him.  
  
He stared at me, only the rate of his chest moving showing his feelings, and then something dark passed through his eyes- not magic, just sex too primal to be verbalized. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he kissed me hard, withdrew, and simply began to thrust into me hard and fast. It was rougher than I was used to but I was more than ready, and every long, deep stroke drew from me a sound between a moan and a growl. I felt as if I were burning up, but it was so good. His need and his magic filled me up the way his body did mine, and the magic seemed to caress me all over, inside and out. "Mara..." he groaned, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. "Oh, Goddess, yes..." He shoved his hand into my hair and kissed me with fierce passion, and the orgasm hit me like a wall of flame; it was as if we fell into each other and became one shining being of pure burning pleasure. I was barely aware of our twin screams, such was the intensity of it.  
  
I came back to reality with Giovanni collapsed across my body. I ran one hand lightly down his back and kissed his hair. His face was hidden in my shoulder, but his skin was still softly glowing and looking down at my hand on his back, I realized mine was too. I was exhausted but I felt wonderful, as if my very blood hummed with our combined magics, and the world seemed to be edged in a soft golden light. We lay there for some time with his body limp across mine, gathering ourselves back from the intensity of what we had just shared.  
  
My hand stroking his back came up streaked with blood. I looked down his back and saw small crescent shaped marks on each side where my long nails had dug into his skin. "Oops," I murmured. "Sorry about that."  
  
It seemed to take him several tries before answering. "For what?"  
  
"I clawed you." I blushed a little. I hadn't meant to lose control like that.  
  
He lifted his head to look at me. His eyes glowed shockingly bright in the near-darkness- but wait, wasn't it only midafternoon? I glanced at the window to see dark clouds gathering in the sky, dimming the light.  
  
"Don't be. I enjoyed it." His voice drew my attention back to him, and the banked heat in his shining eyes reinforced his words. To my disappointment, he slowly pushed himself up off me, getting up on his knees. He leaned down to kiss me before moving to the other side of the bed.  
  
When he moved away I lay back on the pillows and savored the lingering feel of our sex in my body. His low laugh made me open my eyes to see him watching me with a very male look of pride. "I love that look on your face. That little smile that means I did well."  
  
"Oh yes, you did that," I admitted.  
  
After cleaning up, he rolled onto his back and stretched, a long, fingertip-to-toe stretch ending with a little shiver of pleasure that riveted my attention. He rolled onto his side to face me, his head on one hand, giving me that smile that was part desire, part possessiveness, and all sex. Already I knew what that look meant.  
  
"You cannot be serious," I gasped.  
  
His eyes sparkled wickedly. "I would not want you to think I don't know how to make it last." He snuggled against me and leaned over, tracing his lips down my throat, ending with a kiss in the little hollow just above my collarbone, while his hand lightly caressed my side from the edge of my breast to my hip. "But I will not do anything you don't want me to do."  
  
"You'll just make sure I want it, hmm?" I said, attempting a bored, jaded tone though my pulse was already quickening. He wasn't even using magic yet, just the touch of his hand and lips.  
  
He chuckled, a low, masculine, suggestive sound. "How well you know me already." His magic began to gather around my body, moving like warm silk over my sensitized skin, and I began to understand why some would sacrifice so much for one more night of such pleasure. Belle Morte's pleasure.  
  
"Mara?" he asked without that teasing tone. I tore my gaze from the rain-streaked window and looked back at him. He was watching me with concern. "What is it? What put such fear in your eyes?"  
  
"Nothing I want to think about." I laid my hand along the side of his face, enjoying the softness of that sunlit skin, and forced a flippant smile that I didn't really feel. "If you want to help, a distraction would be lovely."  
  
He watched me for another moment and then gave me a devilish smile. "I would be happy to."  
  
And he did. He made a very good distraction.  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
I would have liked to stay the night with Giovanni, but I had duties and a guest to attend to, so I reluctantly took my leave of him not long after full dark. I was stalled from leaving earlier by not only his sweet persuasion, but also the wicked thunderstorm that had come out of nowhere and lasted several hours. Welcome to the south.  
  
I let myself into the Circus and practically danced down the stairs, wondering at my unusually good mood, even after getting rained on so I was soaked through and dripping. Afterglow was one thing, but this felt like more, much more. At the foot of the stairs, I met Claudia and Jack on guard duty there. Ever since the alpha incident, Claudia had been taken off personal security and put on general guard duty. Fine by me. Bodyguards are supposed to keep their mouths shut.  
  
Claudia studied me narrowly. "Everything okay?"  
  
I blinked at her and couldn't help laughing. "Mm-hm..." Boy, did she have no idea how 'okay' I felt. "It's raining out, didja know that?" She frowned, which made me laugh harder, bringing up my hand just in time to avoid flashing fangs. Oh yeah, something was off. I felt intoxicated, free, too happy to be bothered by anything.  
  
"Oh shit," she muttered. "Go get Jean-Claude." She was clearly talking to Jack, but he didn't move. He was too busy staring at me.  
  
"Her voice..." he said slowly.  
  
"I know! Just go get Jean-Claude!" she snapped, and it seemed to wake him from his stupor. He walked off.  
  
My ridiculous giggles finally abating, I managed to gasp out, "I'm fine."  
  
"Like hell you are. You're acting weird and leaking power like crazy." Claudia eyed me as though wondering if she dared touch me. "Did you take drugs or something?"  
  
I snorted with laughter. "Drugs don't work on hybrids, remember?" Actually some do, albeit briefly, but I wasn't about to tell _her_ that, the nosy rat.  
  
"She's power drunk." I looked up at the source of the voice and smiled when I saw Sampson. His eyes were the solid black of his siren power but it didn't even occur to me to wonder why. I was too busy enjoying the view.  
  
"Hi, handsome," I drawled flirtatiously. Odd, something did seem different about my voice, like it suddenly had more tones and depth. I liked it.  
  
He stopped in front of me and stared at me, frowning.  
  
"What, I don't even get a kiss?" I hinted unsubtly, raising my hand to caress his cheek. It nagged at me that there was some reason I shouldn't want Sampson, but I couldn't remember what it was, so it must not be too important. And _damn_ but he looked good. From his dark curls, his handsome face with those sexy black eyes, the soft tan of his skin contrasting with the open collar of his white dress shirt, his broad shoulders and lean waist, even to his bare feet, he just looked so yummy. I was seized with a desire to strip off all those clothes and see if he was even more delectable without them.  
  
He slid one arm behind my back and the other under my knees and stood, lifting me as if I weighed nothing. "Mmmm," I purred, cuddling into him. He was so warm even through his clothes. "Even better." He shivered a bit, watching me with those magical eyes. I looked at his face so close to mine, touched his cheek, then slid my hand into his hair and kissed him. He felt every bit as good as he looked. The flare of his power, his hunger meeting and mingling with mine, was delicious. So hot, so good. I wanted more. No, I _needed_ more.  
  
He broke the kiss with a gasping breath. "Claudia, come with us." His voice was oddly hoarse. "We've got to get her back to her room."  
  
A flash of jealous anger surged through me. "No! I want you to myself," I told him. "I'll be enough for you," I added purringly, "I promise," and made a little cross-my-heart sign over my breast.  
  
His eyes followed my hand, then he hastily closed his eyes and averted his face. "Not like this, Mara. You're not yourself. Neither of us would ever forgive me if I took advantage of you."  
  
"I know you want me," I murmured in his ear, and breathed deeply of his scent. His desire was like potent cologne emanating from his skin and his magic almost a touchable thing, like warm water flowing across my skin. "I can feel your hunger. Let go." I wound a finger in his curls, "Taste of me, and it will be a feast for both of us."  
  
"No, Mara. I can't," he said, and though his scent was still alluringly tinged with desire, I could feel his resolve. He was truly refusing me. I sulked, lying back in his arms with a scowl. How dare he turn me down!  
  
And _that_ made me realize that something was seriously wrong. Since when did I sulk over getting turned down? What was I doing? This wasn't me. Confusion and unease pushed back the haze of lust in my mind so I could think. I looked up at him, frowning. "Sampson? What's... what's wrong with me?"  
  
He looked at me with relief, nervousness, and so many other feelings in those depthless eyes. "You've been brought into your power, Mara. I remember what it was like for me, this incredible high. I'd never have guessed you would have this kind of power," he marveled, then shook his head as if clearing it. "Just try to stay calm and don't do anything rash."  
  
There were running footsteps and Caden came around the corner, closely followed by my father. Caden's eyes were burning green, and the sight brought back all the warm euphoria. "Hello, lover," I purred. Caden would give me what I wanted. Oooh, goody.  
  
My father's cool gaze rested on Sampson. "You?"  
  
"No!" Sampson snapped in an uncharacteristically harsh tone.  
  
"She came in like this," Claudia added. "Verity said she left this afternoon with some guy who came to see her."  
  
Sampson, who was still holding me, looked at Caden. "Here, take her."  
  
I pouted up at him, then turned and held my arm out to Caden. _Master,_ I thought contentedly as he took me in his arms. _Let me serve you_. My mental tone left no doubt as to what sort of 'serving' I had in mind. As I nuzzled his neck, I felt his desire flare and reveled in it.  
  
_Not now, cariad_ , he told me, and I pouted. _Soon_ , he added. My resentment vanished and I snuggled back in his arms, smiling.  
  
"Who was it, Mara?" my father asked.  
  
I was busy toying with the open collar of Caden's shirt, and it took me a second to remember what he was talking about. I giggled. "Ladies don't tell."  
  
"What I want to know is _what_ was he, that he could bring her into her power like this?" Sampson muttered.  
  
"Sidhe," I said, laughing, and hid my face in Caden's shoulder.  
  
Confused frowns all around me. "She has never shown a taste for women before," Papa said.  
  
I found that outrageously funny and erupted into giggles again. "Not _she_ , sidhe!" I managed. "Seelie sidhe. High-court fey. Only a prince for this vampire princess," I giggled, hiding my face in Caden's shoulder again.  
  
Claudia stiffened as if she suddenly remembered something important. "That guy in the hospital, who healed her. He was sidhe, I remember them arguing about it. A fertility bloodline, and part vampire too."  
  
"Of course," Caden said. "Giovanni. That would explain his healing ability."  
  
"Perhaps this discussion could wait until she is in a more suitable state of mind," Papa interrupted. "Caden, please take her to her room. You are excused from your duties this evening so that you may watch over her."  
  
I smiled. A whole night together with my lover; I could come up with lots of delicious ways to occupy the time. As Caden carried me away, I looked back at Sampson. He was expressionless, but his eyes were still siren-black as he watched us go.  
  



	12. "I'll make it be enough."

I slept very soundly until early in the afternoon. After I woke I lay curled next to Emrys' unmoving form, thinking. Gods, my life had been complicated enough before, but now? I felt so conflicted- my body weary and a little sore, my magic sated and nearly humming with satisfaction, my mind racing at frantic speed. It had all felt right when I was doing it, but I had made such a mess of things. And Emrys... he hadn't said anything the night before, had not demanded answers even though I would not have blamed him if he had. He had just given me what I needed, though in retrospect I recognized something darker under his passion. I sat on my feet next to him, gazing down at his still, peaceful face.  
  
"Forgive me, beloved," I whispered. "I'm doing my best." There was so much I needed to tell him, but I could not make him wake early no matter how much I wished to. So I just leaned down and kissed his cool forehead, then his lips, and walked into the bathroom, clutching my robe around me.  
  
Showered and dressed, I walked into the kitchen in search of caffeine. Dismissing the half-empty coffeepot, I pulled a soda out of the fridge.  
  
"Mara." It was Sampson. I winced inwardly. This was not going to be fun.  
  
"Sampson," I said quietly, bowing my head so my hair fell across my face.  
  
"Are you... okay?" he asked hesitantly.  
  
"I'm fine." It was mostly true.  
  
I heard him come closer. "Why are you hiding your face?"  
  
Oh, damn. "I... my mind is fine, but the new power level... I'm having a hard time controlling it." That was also why I trying not to talk more than I had to. I didn't trust my control of my new voice tricks.  
  
He brushed my hair aside with gentle fingers and tipped my chin up, making me look at him. My skin was still glowing, my eyes a hot blue flame of power. As I met his eyes, something moved like dark clouds through his, as if the siren blackness wanted to take over but he held it back. His magic responded so easily to mine...  
  
"Sampson, I..." I didn't even know what to say. I covered his hand on my cheek with mine. "Aren't you angry at me?"  
  
"I said I wouldn't stop you from having other lovers, Mara." His voice was soft and even. He had a point, so why did I feel like I had done something wrong?  
  
Because I had done it for the wrong reason. Oh, I had listed good reasons to myself, but the truth was, I had gotten scared and run to Giovanni because I was afraid of the situation with Sampson and Caden. Dammit.  
  
"Do you want me to be angry at you?" he asked, his voice too quiet for me to read the emotion in it.  
  
I used both hands to rub my face, and he moved his hand away. "Maybe," I whispered. I glanced up at his face and saw only concern and caring. I bowed my head, letting my hair hide my face again, and took a step forward, sliding my arms around him. His arms circled me and I felt him sigh, his hand coming to rest on my hair. "You can't still want me," I said, hating the way my voice wavered.  
  
"Mara. Look at me, please," he said softly. I did, and he moved one fingertip across my cheek, delicately pushing back the hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear. "You're my best friend. You have been for years. How long have we confided in each other? How many times have you cheered me up when I needed it?" His smile was both warm and sad, his eyes soft. "I don't think you have ever realized how important you are to me. You know my family- they love me, but I always have to live up to my duties and my position as eldest son. There is no room for me to be lonely or uncertain or off my guard." He paused.  
  
"But that was never true with you. I could tell you anything, even when I was scared or upset, and you never thought less of me or used it against me. You were willing to be strong for me. There were times when I called you because just hearing your voice helped. Knowing that you cared how I felt made it better." I closed my eyes and bowed my head as he spoke. I had never suspected that my friendship meant so much to Sampson. I heard him swallow, and then he tipped up my chin, raising my face to his. "This wasn't a sudden decision, Mara. I've known for some time that I wanted you in my life as more than a friend. Seeing you in the hospital made me realize I couldn't wait any longer." Slowly, giving me time to move away, he leaned down and kissed me gently. Then he drew me closer into his arms, cradling my head against his shoulder so he could speak quietly into my ear.  
  
"I need you in my life, Mara. If the thing with your mother... even if you can't bring yourself to make love with me, I still want to marry you. I know you will love me better without the sex than many women would with it. Even if you never do more than hold me, it will be enough. I'll make it be enough."  
  
I caught my breath in shock, trying to pull back to look at him, but he held me tightly to him, his face hidden in my hair. "Sampson... I couldn't do that to you. It would be cruel." He didn't answer.  
  
I don't know what else I would have said, but my cell phone rang, making us both jump. I fumbled for it in my robe pocket, pulled it out, and snapped it open. "Hello?"  
  
"Mara, it is Giovanni. I am here at the Circus, outside. I must see you."  
  
Talk about bad timing! I looked at Sampson and wished we could talk alone some more, but something in Giovanni's voice was off, as if he were nervous or upset. Abruptly I knew I couldn't send him away, not after I had already left him alone at what might have been the worst possible time. "Okay, where exactly are you?"  
  
"The employee parking lot, near the back door."  
  
"I'll be there in a minute." I looked at Sampson uncertainly.  
  
"It's fine. Go," he said, his face still turned away from me.  
  
I laid my hand along the side of his face and kissed his cheek, then turned and ran out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and opened the back door. Giovanni stood there with his head bowed. He lifted his head to look at me, and I knew what was different; his glamour was down. He hurried past me through the door and down the stairs. I came down the steps and into the sitting room to find him standing in the middle of the room, nearly vibrating with nervous energy.  
  
"Your glamour..." I began.  
  
"I know," he snapped. Then he looked more closely at me. "You are affected also?"  
  
I nodded. "You brought me into my power. Giovanni..." I trailed off. I wanted to ask if he had been power-drunk last night like I had, but I just didn't want to know if I had left him alone like that, or what he had had to do about it. Not yet. "I'm sorry. I should have stayed with you last night. I didn't know what was going to happen."  
  
He abruptly looked away. "Apparently we both were made more powerful by our encounter. I... have never held this much power before."  
  
Gods, he was gorgeous, and he was mine. Although he was not even trying to be sexy, just the sight of him made my heart race. I stood still, trying not to let my mind wander to thoughts of our "encounter", but seeing him there in the glory of his magic made it incredibly difficult.  
  
He slowly turned his head, his eyes sharp and watchful like a predator's sighting prey as they fixed on me. His eyes began to glow, and he crossed the space between us in a few strides and kissed me fiercely. I had no warning, no defense, and one afternoon did not begin to satisfy the desire I felt for him. My body and my magic craved him like an addiction. He picked me up and carried me to the couch without ever breaking the kiss. When he put me down, he immediately set to untying the belt of my robe. He growled in satisfaction when he found I was wearing nothing but my bra and underpants under it, and trailed his lips down the exposed skin between my breasts.  
  
"Is everything okay?" a voice intruded on my lustful haze. Giovanni actually growled aloud, lifting his head to glare at the intruder.  
  
That voice... "Sampson!" I gasped. Sanity returned, and I was horrified. I had been this close to having sex with Giovanni right here in my father's sitting room. What was wrong with me? I pushed Giovanni gently off me, sidling back until I could sit up. He bowed his head, taking several deep breaths, then looked up at me.  
  
"Someone you know, _bella_?" his voice was mostly normal except for a hoarse edge to it.  
  
"Yes. Um, Giovanni, this is Sampson, my fiancé," I said in a rush. Both of them stared at me, and I realized what I had just done. I had said yes to Sampson's proposal- in front of Giovanni. Dear gods, this gave new meanings to awkward. Sampson gazed at me, a beautiful smile lighting up his face. My heart melted at the joy on his face, and I began to smile back.  
  
"You have been keeping secrets, _bella_ ," Giovanni spoke first. He was clearly not pleased.  
  
"We didn't exactly talk much yesterday," I said uncomfortably, closing my robe and tying the belt tightly. Weak excuse, very weak.  
  
"No, we did not." His eyes were still glowing, but I suspected it was as much anger as lust now. Surely he wasn't jealous. I mean, he didn't want anything from me except sex... did he?  
  
Sampson found his voice. "So you're Giovanni."  
  
Giovanni's unfriendly look turned to Sampson. "I am. I wish I could say I have heard good things about you, but I am afraid Mara has not seen fit to mention you to me at all."  
  
"Our engagement is kind of a recent development," Sampson said calmly, and I could have kissed him.  
  
"Sampson, would you come in and sit down?" I asked quietly. Giovanni moved to the other end of the couch, his gold-and-brown eyes still glowing angrily. Sampson gave me a half-smile and settled comfortably in a chair. How could he look so relaxed? Oh yeah- I was the one who had screwed up royally, not him. I turned to my other lover... what else could I call him after yesterday? "Giovanni, Sampson is like me, he has to have more than one lover. He knows about you and me, and he doesn't have a problem with it."  
  
"And Caden?" Giovanni asked with a definite chill in his voice. "I take it he is still your lover as well?"  
  
I swallowed nervously. "Yes. And I am also his human servant, since Boston."  
  
"So where, precisely, does that leave me?" Oh yeah, Giovanni was pissed, and I couldn't really blame him. "Was I merely a diversion from your lovers?"  
  
"No!" I protested quickly. "I..." I sighed in frustration. "What do you want to be?" He sat silently, staring at me. "You could be my _pomme de sang_ , if you want to," I added nervously.  
  
His scowl eased, becoming a frown that was more confused and skeptical than angry. "A blood donor?"  
  
"For vampires, it means a regular blood donor," I explained. "But since I'm a succubus, it means you... feed me the way I need."  
  
"I see," he said coolly.  
  
"It's not something we do lightly, Giovanni, just the opposite. Being my _pomme_ would make you a member of my father's court, entitled to the same honor and protection as any of us. No vampire could harm you without risking our vengeance."  
  
He was watching me with a thoughtful, intent expression. "I would have a place in the vampire world? A rank among you?" There was something in his look that I could not quite identify. I nodded.  
  
"Perhaps I should go and let the two of you talk." Sampson stood, giving me a smile, and turned to leave. I got up and walked him to the door. Out of habit I hugged him and kissed his cheek, then he turned his face to me and there was a frozen, awkward moment, until I kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, sweet and promising.  
  
"We'll talk later," I whispered, smoothing my hands down his arms.  
  
He nodded, smiling. "Until later." He slipped through the curtains. I watched him go, my heart teeming with feelings too numerous to grasp, then turned and walked back to Giovanni. I sat down on the sofa, deliberately closer to him than I had been before. I held out my hand to him, and he glanced at it dubiously, then took my hand.  
  
"Everything you said yesterday is true, Giovanni. You are powerful, you are Belle Morte's line... you are what I need. That's why I'm making this offer now. If you take the title, it will be a statement to everyone in the vampire world that you are important to me. Our _pommes_ are precious to us. We depend on them." I glanced away for a moment. "We will have to get my father's approval it since it will make you part of his court, but I'm sure he will trust my judgment."  
  
Giovanni's eyes were cast downward as if he were studying the carpet, but unfocused, thoughtful. "Very well. I accept."  
  
I smiled, relieved. "Good. We can talk later about the..." but he cut off my words with a fierce kiss, his hand behind my head keeping me close.  
  
He pulled back just far enough to say, "I think for now we should finish what we started last night, _bellissima_." The growl was back in his voice, and I abruptly realized he must not have 'fed' after I left. I gently pushed him back and stood up. His eyes narrowed as if he expected me to refuse him again.  
  
"Let's get to my bedroom before we start that again, okay?" I suggested with a small teasing smile.  
  
He started to smile, a wicked catlike smile that made my pulse pound in my throat, and rose fluidly to his feet. "Anywhere you wish."  
  



	13. "You don't believe me?"

  
  
"No. Oh, no. Uh-uh," I said several hours later.  
  
"What?" he asked innocently, his hand trailing lightly along my skin.  
  
" _Not_ again. You have worn me out, Giovanni. I am not up for another round, so don't try to start anything else."  
  
He laughed, a low, sensual sound that traveled down my spine like a shiver. "I did not intend to "start anything", _bella_. I was only caressing you for the pleasure of it. Am I not permitted that?" he added in a deceptively innocent tone.  
  
"Hmmm," I replied, a very skeptical sound.  
  
He traced his hand lightly along my skin and gave me a look from under his long lashes. "When a man is given the privilege of touching such exquisite beauty, you cannot blame him for taking every chance he gets to do so."  
  
I didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed. Amusement won out, and I laughed. "Smooth, very smooth."  
  
He lifted an eyebrow. "You don't believe me?"  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"A woman like you, with such beauty and power, and you are humble. How..." he trailed off as if searching for the word.  
  
"Endearing?" I suggested.  
  
"Tragic." I made a face at him, but he continued as if he did not notice. "Plainly your lovers do not compliment you enough."  
  
"Caden gives me plenty of compliments, thank you very much," I informed him, annoyed on my _cariad'_ s behalf. "I just think he might be a bit biased."  
  
"And Sampson?" he lay back, one arm behind his head, and I was distracted for a moment by the enticing sight he made. He saw my distraction and a wicked smile crossed his face. I gave him an annoyed look, fighting not to blush.  
  
"Sampson and I have been friends for years. We joked around and teased a lot more than we exchanged compliments. It was only recently that our relationship became something else." Now I _was_ blushing, and I hated it.  
  
"Your parents, then."  
  
"Persistent, aren't you?" I commented. He shrugged, watching me expectantly. "Mother has better things to compliment me on, like my accuracy on the shooting range."  
  
"And your father?"  
  
I laughed affectionately. "He's my Papa. I could be plain as a board fence and he would think I was the most beautiful child ever. Papas are supposed to think their children are wonderful, aren't they?" I slanted a quick glance at him, belatedly worried that I might have hit on a sore subject, but he was laughing.  
  
"True."  
  
I gave in to the urge to cuddle him, and he wrapped his arm around me. It felt good, nay _very_ good, and yet... _I should be in Sampson's arms right now_ , I thought, and that was unnerving too. I still had that night off; I could see Sampson later. And perhaps do more than see him...  
  
"It's not polite to think of other men when you are with your lover, _bella_." Giovanni's tone was teasing, but had an edge to it. I flashed a wide-eyed glance at him, and then realized what had given me away- I was absently toying with the ring threaded on the chain of my locket. Or was it his power that showed him my thoughts? Great, another one I would have to watch my mind around.  
  
"That's bound to happen when you start asking me about them, isn't it?" I riposted. Then I frowned thoughtfully, propped myself up on my elbow and turned so I could look him in the face. "Tell me something..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Does your power heal your partner every time you have sex?"  
  
He gave a slow blink, an odd look crossing his face. "If I do not restrain it, then yes, I think so. Why?"  
  
I laughed, blushing. "Ah. That would explain it." He gave me that puzzled frown again. "Why I'm not chafed. I mean, even a succubus can only take so much."  
  
"Oh," he said, and a smile began to pull at his mouth, his gold-and-brown eyes dancing. I enjoyed the view, until I was reminded of our first time the afternoon before. A thought had entered my mind, a thought that was not mine- _He had waited so long_... For what?  
  
As I lay back in his arms, I decided that Giovanni was going to be a very interesting puzzle.  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
Sampson opened his door, and when he saw me he began to smile that wonderful look of happiness again. "Mara," he said softly. I took a quick step into his arms, and he picked me up and danced me around the room, laughing.  
  
"You goof, I'm going to get your clothes all wet!" I protested. Impatient to see Sampson, I hadn't bothered to do more than a quick towel-drying after my shower. The back of my clothes were already damp from my hair.  
  
"That's okay," he said with a purr in his voice. "You smell good. Like peaches." He lowered his face to my neck, sniffing. "Or maybe orange, I can't decide. Yummy." His breath tickled my neck and I squirmed in his arms.  
  
"I should, all my bath stuff is citrus. Will you let me go?" I shoved at his shoulder without putting much effort into it, unable to keep from smiling.  
  
"Nu-uh. Not done sniffing you," he muttered, pulling me closer. "Why do women smell so good when they get out of the shower?"  
  
"That's kind of the point of showering," I pointed out amusedly, wrapping my arms around his neck. Just for balance, you know. Really.  
  
"Mm, but men don't come out smelling this good," he objected. "Only women. Must be all the bath stuff you use."  
  
I laughed out loud at that. "I can tell you haven't been around Papa much. He uses more bath stuff than I do."  
  
"Maybe, but I'm not marrying your father. He's cute, but he's not my type," he quipped. I dissolved into quiet laughter, resting my head on his shoulder.  
  
"You are the biggest goof ever, you know that?" I informed him laughingly.  
  
"Maybe, but I'm your goof," he told me. He lifted his head to look into my eyes, the humor fading from his expression. I became suddenly aware how close we were, his arms around my body and mine around him, his handsome face mere inches from mine. My heart sped up, and I felt warm and a little dizzy from his closeness. When had he begun to affect me like this? "Mara," he murmured, his eyes traveling my face. "My wife."  
  
"Future wife," I corrected breathlessly.  
  
"Not for long," he said. "Not if I have anything to say about it." I don't even know which of us moved; we were just suddenly kissing. When he drew back, his expression was fading from joyful to troubled. "I'm sorry," he said softly, "I'll keep my word, Mara, don't worry. I just love kissing you. But if you don't want me to..." I cut off his words by kissing him again, long and deep, pressing my body to his. His hand came up to my hair as we kissed, his other arm around my waist.  
  
"Sampson..." I said softly when we parted. "I'm not going to hold you to that promise. I'm not sure when I'll be ready, but when I am, you're going to be my husband... in every way."  
  
He stared at me, so surprised, then as my words sank in, his eyes filled with emotion before he closed them and pulled me close. "Mara... sweetheart. I swear I'm going to make you so happy," he told me, his voice rich with feeling. He rested his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes. "What's wrong? You look scared," he said softly.  
  
"I guess I am, a little," I admitted. "I don't want to lose your friendship."  
  
"We won't lose our friendship." He smiled, trailing his fingers lightly across my cheek. "The best of friends can sometimes make the best lovers."  
  
I smiled. Trust him to know just what to say. "Just do me a favor, okay? Don't stay all serious on me all the time. I don't want to lose my favorite goofball either."  
  
He began to laugh, then picked me up and spun me around joyfully. "You never will."  
  
"Let's sit down and talk," I suggested.  
  
"Good idea," he said in a polite, reasonable tone. That alone should have warned me. He set me down carefully on my feet, then like a flash got one arm behind my knees, the other still behind my back, and scooped me up in his arms.  
  
"You are the... most... _argh_!" I sputtered, and he laughed shamelessly. He carried me to the loveseat, sat down, and placed me beside him so my legs were across his lap, his arm still around my shoulders. "Would you stop doing that!" I emphasized my words by swatting him on the shoulder.  
  
"Yes, dear," he said in a very humble tone that his expression almost managed to match, except for the wicked gleam in his eyes. I gave him a look composed of equal parts amusement and annoyance, and he gave me back an innocently surprised expression that was so faked. "What? I'm just practicing."  
  
I struggled between laughing and hitting him again, then after a few seconds I cracked up, burying my face in his shoulder to muffle myself. I felt him shake with answering laughter, and his arms tightened around me.   
  
"I can see," I said without lifting my face from his shoulder, "that I'm going to have a very hard time staying mad at you."  
  
"Good," he said, not even bothering to hide the smugness in his voice. I gave it up as a lost battle, too busy becoming absorbed in the scent of his neck. He was wearing some kind of cologne, something light and clean-smelling, but under it was the scent of him. I nuzzled closer, trying to identify what that scent reminded me of. Hot sand? The ocean? _I wonder if he tastes saltier too_ , I thought distantly, and before I knew what I was doing, my tongue darted out to test the theory. His breath escaped in a rush, his hands slid down to my waist, and just that fast he had picked me up and set me down in his lap facing him, my knees on either side of him. It wasn't only surprise that set my heart racing. Dear gods, I had had more sex in the last twenty-four hours than any human could have handled, and I should have been exhausted, sick of it, but instead I was reacting to him as if I hadn't touched a lover in months. All this flashed through my mind in a fraction of a second before he buried his fingers in my hair and kissed me. His kiss sent heat pouring through me, and I was hyper-aware of his body everywhere it touched mine. He was so gentle that I forgot sometimes how strong he was, but I could feel it now in his hands, his thighs under me, his shoulders under my exploring hands. If I didn't stop this now, I was going to keep my promise sooner than either of us had dreamed.  
  
In a moment of sanity I broke the kiss. He gazed up at me with eyes already low-lidded as if he were intoxicated, and his drug was me. I gave him a quick kiss to reassure him, bringing my hands up to frame his face, but that look in his eyes sent a feeling of power through me that had nothing to do with magic and everything to do with sex; being wanted that much can be an unparalleled aphrodisiac. Sanity vanished under desire and I kissed him again, his hands in my hair and my hands sliding down his chest, and even through my jeans and his slacks I could feel his arousal. He broke the kiss but did not stop, only trailed quick kisses down my neck. When he reached the juncture of my neck and shoulder he bit gently, not hurting, but only enough to send a thrill shivering through me. I shuddered in his arms, a sound escaping my throat.  
  
"Mara," he whispered, and moved reluctantly away from my neck to rest his forehead on my shoulder. "Oh God, Mara, you..." he trailed off as he could not complete the sentence, and looked up at me. "I would have kept my promise, I swear I would have, but God, it would have been a special kind of torture."  
  
"Then why make it?" I asked, tactless in my adrenaline rush, and immediately regretted it when he averted his gaze as if he couldn't look at me. I almost apologized, but was headed off by his answer.  
  
"Because being without you would have been worse," he murmured. My heart melted, and I pulled him closer. It was not sexual now, I just needed to hold him.  
  
"Oh, sweetheart," I murmured, stroking his hair, and kissed his forehead.  
  
He slid his hands around to the sides of my waist and sighed softly, relaxing in my arms. "I should ask your father for your hand."  
  
I smiled. "Sampson, Papa already knows about your proposal. If he had objections, he would have made them known by now."  
  
He looked up at me, smiling, his eyes shining. "I know, but I want to do this right."  
  
 _The way Caden would have_ , I suddenly thought, and closed my eyes. I knew how much it would mean to him to be free of the Dragon forever, but it still would not be easy for him to see me marry another man when in his heart I was his bride, his love. Somehow I would have to convince him that I would not love him any less for being Sampson's wife.  
  
"You're thinking of Caden," Sampson said softly, and I opened my eyes, startled at his perception, and nodded, looking away. "I meant what I said," he told me, tracing my lips ever so lightly with a fingertip. "I know how much you love each other, and I'm not going to get in the way of that. He's a good man. He saved your life, and for that alone I'll always owe him." He stroked his hands up and down my back soothingly. "And I'll tell him so, if you want." I gave him a startled look, and he smiled again. "We'll sit down, the three of us, and talk it all over before the wedding. I want there to be nothing in the way of your happiness when we get married." He laughed suddenly. "Besides, he is not the kind of guy I want to piss off," he added mischievously, startling a laugh from me.  
  
Something else occurred to me that killed my amusement quickly. "Listen, Sampson, about having kids..."  
  
He smiled affectionately, studying my face as if to memorize me. "If you don't want kids, we won't have kids. If you do, then we will, but not for a while, not until you're ready."  
  
"Just that simple?" I questioned with a hint of skepticism.  
  
"Just that simple," he smiled. "Honestly, I don't think I'm ready for parenthood either. I remember when Tom and Cris were babies. They gave me headaches, and I wasn't their parent." He grinned suddenly. "Just the babysitter."  
  
"You seem too good to be true," I informed him half-seriously. "It's making me nervous."  
  
He made a face as though he was thinking that over. "Well, if it makes you feel better," he said solemnly, "I do have awful morning breath. Just ask Cris."  
  
How did he manage to make me laugh no matter how bad I felt? "I don't know about morning breath," I said when my laughter calmed, "but we do need to talk about the car door thing."  
  
  
  



	14. "Please answer me."

  
  
_Married_. Oh my gods. This was insane. I wasn't even eighteen years old yet, how could I have made a decision like this? And let me tell you, "till death do you part" takes on new depths of scariness when both bride and groom are, for all intents and purposes, immortal. There were plenty of reasons why it seemed like a good idea: Emrys would be safe from the Dragon, Sampson would be happy, and I would have both of them: my devoted, passionate Emrys, and sweet, silly Sampson. And Giovanni...  
  
Giovanni was going to be _hellaciously_ pissed off. I had just asked him to be my _pomme_ , and now I was going to be leaving St. Louis in what would probably a matter of months. When I left, he'd have to choose between uprooting his life to go with me, which he probably wouldn't want to do, or lose his status as _pomme_ so soon after he got it.  
  
Well, I probably didn't need to worry. From all I had heard of Giovanni, he didn't stick with lovers for long, so he would probably be bored with me before I left anyway. It wasn't a nice or flattering thought, but I knew some of the women he had been with- gorgeous, experienced women who were probably a lot more exciting in bed than I was, and he had walked away from them without regret. True, I had succubus powers, but that novelty wouldn't keep him around forever, would it?  
  
I thought I had the marks closed, but as I sat in Sampson's arms musing, I felt Caden's presence appear in the back of my mind. Before I could close down the marks, he read it all in my mind.  
  
 _Emrys..._ was all I had time to think before I was staggered by a wave of rage and jealousy. It wasn't the depth of rage I had felt from him during the fight with Primo, but it was more frightening because now it was focused on me. I felt it for only a fraction of a second before he shut down the marks and I was utterly alone in my mind, with my fear. I tried to open the marks, not hard enough to force, just 'pushing' to get his attention, but he held them closed with iron strength.  
  
"Mara!" Someone shook me a little, and I focused on Sampson, who was staring at me with concern. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I... I have to..." I stammered, and jumped up from the couch, running for the door. I had to catch Caden, talk to him. Just before I ran out the door, I turned back to Sampson long enough to say, "I'll come back."  
  
I ran to his room, but the door was locked and I had forgotten my key. "Emrys?" I said softly only inches from the door, knowing he could hear me. "Please answer me." I listened intently, and only barely heard the near-silent movement coming toward the door.  
  
"I need to be alone, Mara." His voice was quiet and empty.  
  
I closed my eyes against welling tears. "We need to talk... when you're ready."  
  
"We will," he said after a moment. "But not now. Please go."  
  
" _Rwy'n dy garu di_ ," I whispered, and hesitated for a moment, hoping he would answer yet dismally sure he wouldn't. There was a nearly inaudible sound as if he had put his hand on the door.  
  
"I love you, too," came his whisper through the door.  
  
I fled before tears overcame me.  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
I walked slowly down the hall back toward Sampson's room. Forcing down my fear and hurt had left me feeling cold and empty, removed.  
  
 _I can't go back to Sampson like this_ , I suddenly thought. _I can't ruin his happiness_. Then I rubbed at my eyes tiredly, pinching the bridge of my nose. _I probably already have._  
  
Caught. I was caught between my men, caught by circumstances, by my powers. I was being slowly and surely trapped by so many things in my life that it felt overwhelming.  
  
 _I can't do this. It's too much.  
  
I'm only seventeen. I'm only a kid._  
  
When I realized that I had stopped in the hall, I sat down against one wall, staring with dry eyes at the opposite wall. It had mattered to Emrys that he was my first lover, my only one. He would still have loved me if I had not been a virgin when we first made love, but the fact that I was had made it more special to him. But that was gone now. His memories of his innocent beloved would be tainted by watching me in other men's arms, and I was suddenly, hopelessly sure that his love wouldn't survive it. I sat there numbly, too drained even to cry.  
  
He had often wondered if I would prefer that he had been Belle Morte's line. Now, for the first time, I wished he were- because if he were, he could understand and forgive what my magic forced me to do.  
  
When I was little and anything upset or confused me, I had always run to Papa. Now my mind remembered those times and cried, _Papa._  
  
Like a dream, an answer came back, as if his voice were right there with me. _Ma couer? What is wrong?_  
  
Was it really him? I was too far gone to even wonder much if it was really Papa's voice or only a hallucination dreamed up by my exhausted mind. I only 'said' again, _Papa.  
  
Stay there. Do not do anything, ma fille, do you understand?  
  
Oui, Papa,_ I automatically whispered, the habit of years of filial obedience. I bowed my head and waited until a shadow fell across me and he knelt next to me. Slender white fingers touched my face, then tilted my chin up, and I looked up into Papa's eyes.  
  
"I can't do it anymore, Papa," I said in a voice that sounded years younger than I was. "I can't. Not without him." He put his arms around me, and then I found I did have the strength to cry after all.


	15. "You are not alone,"

  
Papa picked me up and carried me to my bedroom, where he sat down on the fainting couch with me still in his arms so I could lean back against the high side of the couch. I wept, sitting huddled against him like a child hiding from the world.  
  
"Tell me what happened," he said quietly when my crying had calmed.  
  
"I... I said yes to Sampson. And I asked Giovanni to be my _pomme_. I was going to tell Caden, but I wasn't shielding enough when he woke, and... he was so angry, Papa. I didn't expect him to be so angry. He wouldn't even talk to me."  
  
"Did he say something to hurt you?"  
  
"No," I said, quick to defend my beloved. "He only said that he wanted to be alone. That we would talk later." I looked up at Papa's face, then down again. "He's going to leave me, Papa," I whispered. "I know what it was like in his time. His bride would be with him and no one else. But I can't do that. I want to, but I can't. And he's going to stop loving me. Maybe he has already. He didn't know what I was going to be." I sighed softly and shook my head. "He didn't know when we fell in love that I couldn't be faithful."  
  
"Listen to me," Papa said firmly, "You are Belle Morte's line. Your mother and I both have the _arduer_. Even though you did not yet have the power of our line, it was always a possibility. Caden spend centuries at Court, he knew what her line could be. If he cannot understand what your powers demand of you, then it is _his_ failure, not yours." -the last with an almost angry emphasis.  
  
I didn't have the strength to argue. I only said softly, sadly, "I love him, Papa."  
  
Papa sighed, and his voice softened. "I know, _ma couer_. I know." I lay quietly in his arms, wondering what I was going to do, when his gentle voice interrupted my dark thoughts. "Promise me that you will not do yourself a harm, even if your relationship with Caden ends."  
  
I remained silent and still, unwilling to make a promise I might not have the strength to keep.  
  
"There are many who love you, _ma chérie_ , including me. I beg you not to break our hearts with some rash action." He paused and looked away as if remembering. "When Julianna died, and Asher hated me, I often imagined walking out into the sunlight, letting it take me and end the pain. I thought I would never know love or joy again. But when your mother gave me her love, and Asher came back to me, then I was very glad I had survived. All that I needed to make my joy complete was something I had not dared to hope for since I was mortal. Then you were placed in my arms, and I believed in miracles again." I looked up at him, and his sapphire blue eyes were shiny with tears as he looked at me. "Please, _ma couer_ , do not take away my miracle."  
  
After all that Papa had done for me, after all he been to me, what else could I answer but... " _Oui_ , Papa. I promise."  
  
"My sweet child," he said softly. "I am so sorry this is happening to you. But you are not alone, and you will never be alone as long as I survive. Please remember that."  
  
" _Oui_ , Papa," I whispered. He held me for some time after that.  
  
  
  
  
Later the tightness in the back of my mind holding the marks closed eased a bit, and I felt Caden's mind. The rage was gone, replaced by sadness which deepened when he felt my despondence. He was just outside the door, and I felt his question and sent him back tired acceptance. The door opened but I didn't look up, my head still on Papa's shoulder, my hair mostly hiding my face. I felt Papa look up at Caden, and heard my beloved's movements as he approached and knelt near us. Pain and fear washed through me, leaving me feeling as if there was nothing left inside me but weary grief as I waited for Caden to say the words that would break something inside me forever.  
  
"I will be your lover forever if that is what you want, _cariad_ ," he said softly.  
  
I was frozen for a moment as I replayed his words in my mind. A high-pitched sound escaped my throat even though my mouth was tightly closed. Papa's arms tightened around me as I began to shake, and I buried my face in his velvet coat.  
  
"I was not angry at you, beloved," Caden continued softly. "I thought I was, but what angered me was not your fault. I am so very sorry. So much you have forgiven me, and yet when my love was finally tested, I nearly failed you."  
  
I slowly turned from Papa to look at my lover- for that was what he still was, despite my fears. His beautiful emerald eyes were shiny with tears and soft with love. He opened his arms to me, and I slipped out of Papa's lap and into my beloved's embrace.  
  
"I love you so much," Emrys whispered, stroking my hair. I only held him tightly, feeling as if I had fallen through the floor of hell and landed in paradise. But was I truly saved, or was it only a stay of execution? Could his love really survive this?  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
It was much later when I knocked on Sampson's door, wondering guiltily how long it had been since I had run from his room. His expression lightened somewhat when he opened the door and saw me, but I could tell my absence had not been pleasant for him.  
  
"Mara, please come in." He stepped back, holding the door for me. When he shut the door behind me, I put my arms around him and kissed him tenderly. He did not immediately respond, but then his hands came up to rest on my back and he returned my kiss.  
  
When the kiss came to its natural end, I stood on my tiptoes to hug him closer. "Sampson... sweetheart, I want you to know this isn't how our marriage is going to be." I moved back a little to look into his eyes. "I won't always be running out on you for other men."  
  
His eyes closed and he bowed his head, then looked back up at me almost shyly, and the look in his eyes told me I had been right to say it. "How did you know?" he whispered.  
  
I swallowed a lump in my throat and told the truth. "It's what I would have felt in your place."  
  
He breathed out in what might have been a sigh. "Is everything okay with Caden?" he asked cautiously.  
  
"I... I think so." My shoulders slumped. "I didn't know how hard it was going to be for him."  
  
Sampson held me, stroking gently up and down my back. "If there's anything I can do..." he offered.  
  
"Thank you," I said softly, grateful for his sweet nature. "I think it's just something we have to work through." I took his hand. "Let's go sit down." He nodded, smiling, and I led him to the sofa. I waited while he sat down, then I sat down next to him and curled my legs under me. His arms circled me and I sat for a moment just enjoying being in his embrace.  
  
"Are _you_ okay?" he asked, his voice more gentle.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
He gave me a look that was both affectionate and skeptical. "Really?"  
  
I should have known there wasn't much point trying to brush him off with a polite nonanswer. "I'll be fine. It's just... two years ago, nobody cared what I did or who I liked. Now I feel like I'm walking a tightrope in front of an audience, and I don't know who is rooting for me and who is waiting to see me fall. Does that make sense?"  
  
He took my hand in his. "Yes, it does. And I know what you mean. I've had times like that too."  
  
Knowing what I do about his life, I'll bet he did. "So do you have any advice, oh wise and aged master?" I teased him gently.  
  
His brownish-green eyes were very serious as he looked at me. "Actually, I do. Find someone you know is rooting for you to hold your hand when you need it." He guided my hand, still held in his, up to his lips to kiss my palm, and I felt an odd flutter in my chest as if I suddenly couldn't quite catch my breath. After a few moments, he added, "You're wrong about one thing, though. There were people who cared two years ago. Your parents, Jason, Nathaniel, Cameron... And I'll bet Caden cared more than you knew. And so did I." I looked up to meet his eyes, and he smiled slightly, "You helped me through some of those times, you know."  
  
I snuggled a little closer to him. "You never told me things got that bad for you." I had sometimes suspected, but he rarely wanted to discuss his problems, preferring to distract himself with jokes and affectionate repartee.  
  
"I didn't want to worry you. But when it got bad, I called you. I always knew that you would talk to me, or listen, because you cared. Not about my power, or what I could do for you, but just because I was your friend." The way he said that made me look up at him. I wanted to ask, wasn't there anyone else like that, but I was afraid I already knew the answer. I touched his face, moving my fingertips lightly from above his eyebrow to trace down his face, studying him intently.  
  
"What is it?" he asked softly.  
  
"Just looking at what I've never really seen before," I replied softly, and smiled.  
  
"And? Do you like what you see?" he asked quietly, with a little half smile as if he already know what my answer would be.  
  
I smiled, a quick, joyful flash of teeth. "Does this answer your question?" I asked, then kissed him again, long and lingeringly.  
  
"Mmm..." he said, looking thoughtful, "I don't know. Maybe you'd better run it by me again, just to make sure." He smiled, and his eyes were bright with mischief.  
  
"Well, just for clarity's sake..." I agreed with mock seriousness. His hands slid around my waist as I got up on my knees facing him and leaned down to kiss him again. "You're gorgeous," I murmured near his ear, sliding one hand behind his neck so his dark curls fell over my hand. "Absolutely gorgeous."  
  
He made a sound that might have been a breathless laugh. "I've had women tell me things like that," he said quietly, and I pulled back a little to look him in the face, "but it has never mattered to me this much before." His eyes were so open and honest that I felt it like a tug at my heart, his mouth curving up a little at one corner in a sweet, hesitant hint of a smile.  
  
"Well, it's true," I said, trailing kisses along his jaw, then taking his earlobe gently between my teeth, letting it slide out then kissing it softly.  
  
"What's French for 'my wife'?" he asked softly, distracting me from my explorations.  
  
" _Ma femme_ ," I told him.  
  
He paused. "Isn't that the word for 'woman'?"  
  
"Mm-hm." I busied myself nuzzling his neck again.  
  
I could feel him shake as he started to laugh. "This-here's my woman," he said, affecting a redneck accent, and surprising me into laughter.  
  
"You are such a goof," I informed him, still chuckling, then added, "There's also _ma épouse."  
  
"Ma épouse_," he repeated. "I like that. How about 'my husband'?"  
  
" _Mon mari_ ," I told him, and pressed a light kiss to his neck. "Didn't your father have you learn French?"  
  
"I studied it a little when I was a kid, but Father doesn't like speaking French. It reminds him of his time with the Council."  
  
"Caden is the same way," I said quietly, a bit sadly.  
  
"But I've never been to the Council court, so French only reminds me of my sexy French bride-to-be," he teased, and I smiled.  
  
"I'm not French, I'm American," I corrected him.  
  
"True, but you've got that sexy French accent," he said mischieviously.  
  
"I do _not_ have a French accent!" I protested.  
  
"Yes, dear," he said humbly. I swatted his shoulder, and he laughed without a trace of shame.  
  
"Oh gods, I really do have an accent, don't I?" I sighed, hiding my face in his shoulder in aggravation.  
  
"Only a little bit of one," he soothed me. "It's barely even noticeable, except when you've been speaking French with your fathers." I groaned. "Besides," he added, and I could hear the smile in his voice, "it _is_ sexy." I made a skeptical noise and he chuckled, then sobered. "It is going to be amazing between us, Mara. And I don't just mean the sex." Another chuckle. "...although that's going to be pretty damn awesome too."  
  
I laughed a little. "I don't doubt it, sweetheart."  
  
His smile softened. "I love hearing you call me that."  
  
"Then I guess I'll just have to keep calling you that," I smiled and leaned down to kiss him, and just before my lips touched his, I added, "sweetheart."  
  
"Forever," he whispered back, and gave himself over to my kiss.  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
Sampson and I spent the rest of that night together, sometimes talking over innumerable different subjects and sometimes just lapsing into comfortable silence, enjoying being in each other's arms. Getting married was a scary thought, but I realized sometime during that night that being with Sampson for the rest of our lives wasn't so scary. He had been a part of my life almost from the beginning. It was just that now he would be more.  
  
The encounter with Giovanni had another benefit: I knew now that the desire I felt for Sampson was not solely driven by magical need. I still wasn't sure what I felt for Sampson besides that, but I was at least sure that the way his touch moved me was not mere impersonal need, but my own desire for him. It was a very good thing to know about my future husband.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
Not long before dawn Sampson went to bed, and after I had kissed him goodnight, I went to Caden's room, knowing my lover would be home from work and preparing for his daytime 'sleep'.  
  
Though I could not have pinpointed when I made the decision, I was resolved by the time I knocked on his door. I knew what I had to do, both for my sake and for his. I held the marks tightly closed, not wanting to hint at my thoughts until we were face to face.  
  
" _Cariad_ ," he said when he opened the door and saw me, and the soft hint of a smile on his face melted me as much as it ever had, more so because I had felt so close to losing him that night. He was a part of me, and he had been even before the marks. What I was about to say was no more than acceptance of that.  
  
"Beloved," I whispered as he took me in his arms and held me close. Finally I took a deep breath and stepped back, looking up at him. "Emrys, I have a question for you, and I want you to think very seriously before you give me an answer. Okay?"  
  
He looked a bit puzzled, but nodded.  
  
"Are you sure, absolutely sure, that you want to be with me forever?" I asked, feeling my heart pound so fast I felt faint. He blinked once, then gazed at the floor and back to me.  
  
"Why do you ask this now?" he queried.  
  
I took one more breath, summoned my courage, and said, "Because if you do... I want you to give me the third mark."  
  
My beloved stared at me silently for several long moments, his lips parting in astonishment. "Are... are you sure?" he asked finally.  
  
"I'm sure, Emrys. We had little choice about the first two marks, but I want there to be no doubt in anyone's mind," _including yours_ , I thought, though I did not let him 'hear' it- "that I am with you willingly. That I choose to be with you forever."  
  
He released a shaky breath and stared at me. "Beloved..." he whispered. "I am yours, forever. Yes." He slid his arms around my waist, pulling me close. I stroked his back, my heart brimming with love for him.  
  
"Dawn is coming," I whispered reluctantly. "Sleep here in your room today, and I will stay with you. And tonight we'll talk about the arrangements." He nodded and took me by the hand, not letting go until we had to part to get into bed. He lay on his side facing me and clasped my hand in his.  
  
" _Rwy'n dy garu di_ ," were his last words before the dawn took him for the day.  
  
"I love you too," I whispered, though I knew he could no longer hear me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
_Darkness, and cold, and fear. I was utterly alone, and that was worse than the cold and dark because I knew no matter how I cried for help, no one would come. And I could not escape.  
  
I was alone.  
  
And the worst of all was knowing I was alone because I deserved it. Because I was unclean. A monster._  
  
  
It was late afternoon when I awoke, shaking, the leftover fear from my dreams fading with the memories of them. Caden lay deathly still next to me, but I did not run from him. I sat gazing at his face, thanking any kind god who might be listening that I still had his love, at least for now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  



End file.
